[bflo44]

Hey everyone,

First I would like to say I am sure many of you have much more going on than me. Half of my problem is that I am a worrier . I have had two grand-mal seizures in my life. One when I was 13 and the other when I was 17. The first instance I was at a sleep over and did not go to sleep all night or the next day. The following evening I went to a baseball game with my father and i can remember nodding off trying to stay awake in the car on the way there. I fell asleep in my seat at the game and my father told me I went into a seizure. He is doctor so he is familiar with it albeit he is a foot doctor lol. He said I had a post ictal of about 30 minutes, then I remember coming to and not being able to speak for a few minutes. I did go to the doctor and he decided it was caused by the sleep deprivation and caffienated beverages in excess. Four years went by without any events. Te second time happened after I had gotten maybe 2 hours of sleep and was drinking caffiene. I had to be up at 3:00AM to catch a flight to a baseball tournament. The seizure happened at 7:00pm I was riding in the back of an SUV on the way to the fields for opening ceremonies. I saw an aura(round ball of colors) and felt sick. I said to my friend somethings not right Im gonna be sick and then I lost consciousness. The post ictal for this one was much more eventful. We were in another state on the side of the road in someones front yard. The paramedics were there with the police and according to my teammates, I was trying to go somewhere and they were trying to control me cause they didnt want me to go in the street. The cops would try to stop me and I would swear at them and threaten them. They thought I was on drugs. At one point it took 8 people to hold me down. I came to in he back of the ambulance when my dad arrived. I stood up and said "I gotta **** like a race horse" .

I went back to the Nuero. He did an EEG this time. I do not know or remember the outcome of this test. I know there was one point where he did want to diagnose me with epilepsy but continued to evaluate me and decided that he wouldn't and he did not put me on meds. He told me to make sure I get sleep and stay away from alcohol, caffeine, and antihistamines.

I have drank caffeine, and alcohol on occasion. I am extremely anul about sleep. The last seizure has affected my life drastically. I cant sleep if I know i need to be up early and I believe it has given me anxiety issues that prevent me from not living my life as freely as I could. As you can imagine the sleep issues have kept me from getting jobs that require me to be up early, it is a mental thing. If I don't have to be up I sleep like a baby.

I believe the doctor made his decision based on the fact that both seizures occurred after very similar circumstances. He believed that the sleep deprivation was the main cause along with keeping my self up with caffeine(Mountain Dew).

I am now 31. I haven't had a grand-mal since I was 17.(KNock on Wood). On saturday, I had a visual disturbance while playing video games(which I have done my whole life with no issues) Only was playing for 30 minutes. It started as peripheral vision to the right diminishing and then to a blindspot to my right middle. I stood up, looked in the mirror and couldnt see my right side of my nose. I panicked called my father who told me to call 911, so I did. Ambulance came, I was conscious the whole time lucid, put my dogs away changed my shirt. Just couldnt see right. eventually the "Aura" did turn into a zigzag line. It was nearly gone by the time I got to the hospital when at that point I felt a little strange. Everything checked out normal at hospital other than BP was 170/100 at first, and 134/82 at discharge. I went to my doc and he says it sounds like an Ocular Migraine. Did have a dull headache next day. I did some reading and found that they can be triggered by certain foods and i did change my diet and ate a ton of feta cheese, which is a big trigger I guess. Its important to note that I had a similar if not identical incident 6 years ago. That night I had a glass of red wine(same chemical thats in aged cheese) and i was with a girl who was smoking at her house alot.(I dont smoke). i left panicked after losing some vision, it got worse, I pulled over and called 911. It did also progress into zigzag lines, I dont remember a headache though.

Basically, the seizures really did a number on me mentally and i worry at times, especially when something happens with my vision that I will have one or start having them again. It scares me to death. I have a 10 year old son and i think what if it happens why im driving, I dont want to die, i want to see him grow up, I want to be here for him or even worse what if he or my wife is in the car? I do realize as i write this that it sounds like an anxiety issue and and my thoughts aren't 100% realistic, or are they?

I havent had one in 14 years. Been on no meds. I have made sure I have gotten my rest. Is there a chance i could of grown out of them?

I havent been to a Nuero since I was 17, I am going next week. I have a ton of anxiety that he will want to do tests and find something wrong with me when I have pretty much lived a normal life. The doc told me that it sounds like ocular migraine but with a history of seizure I should go to a Nuero.

I agree, but I am scared. Anyone have experience with Ocular Migraines?Are they related to seizures?

Any advice or help or anything would be much appreciated if you find time to read this novel.