I just need someone to talk to I think. I have a granddaughter that wants me to raise her daughter Natalie. Natalie was born having a aurisum on the brain and Natalie had seizures for weeks. My granddaughter has reach the end of her patience. She has other children that the sick daughter's bipolar type episodes effect terribly. Natalie is the oldest at 5 yrs.and has a very bad speech problem and a cognitive response problem. Has seizures if she is put under stress. Natalie's pre school last year stressed her until she was having several episodes every day. And she had seizures that the teachers didn't even recognize as seizures.

Natalie loves to learn was a top student in her pre K class even though she never went very often. It took Natalie 3 weeks to learn her ADC's count to ten a write her name. But at the same time she has not mastered the word no!!. That is where her cognitive response problem is. She knows No means stop. But it want take her to the point of what she was doing physically with what she was doing mentally. She sees a Neuro Psychologist that the Doctor that treats brain injury caused cognitive, emotional stress issues. She goes to the the Markus Institute in Atlanta. And Peach Care is refusing to pay for her treatment. They don't pay for speech therapy. Does anyone know if I adopted Natalie so I could get her on Medicaid would I also be able to leave her with my social security surviver benefits. This child is very high maintenance.

Hello and welcome,

I hope someone has some ideas for you on the adoption, Medicaid & social security surviver benefits question.

Hello Springforth, and welcome to NeuroTalk.

That sounds like a big ambition to be considering raising a great grand daughter. As much as I admire you for even thinking about the possibility, have you considered your own health, financial status and age?

I'm a Grandma, and I would love to take over the raising of my one and only grand son if there was no-one else to do it, but I'm sneaking up towards 60 now, and I have MS and hubby has a bad back. Neither do DH and I have finances to assist us bring up a grand-child even if we agreed.

I'm sorry that I can't help you with this one, but do think about it and I wish you all the best.

Welcome again, it's good to have you with us.

Hi Springforth and welcome to NeuroTalk. You sound like a wonderful Grandma and your granddaughter must think very highly of you to even ask that you raise her daughter.

I've posted the link to our Social Security forum. Perhaps someone there could give you some suggestions for financial assistance while raising this little girl.

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum28.html

Best of luck to you!!

Hon... High Maintenance is putting it mildly.

No one here can sugar coat what you are going to go through. It will be rough. I mean, think about it. Your granddaughter is young AND SHE CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!!!

Unless you are a fit, thoroughly healthy, with all the patience of a saint, (and how many of us are that healthy, with the patience of a saint??).

This is a very difficult decision for you. Let me tell you the experience I've witnessed with my next door neighbor. And yes, I know that no two experiences with challeged children are the same, but you are both great grandmothers, so I will tell you what went on.

Next door to me there was this woman named Anna, (who died 2 years ago at the age of 80).

When she was 60, she became the legal guardians of her two great grandchildren. They were born to a drug addicted mother, who signed away all rights. This was her own grandson's girlfriend.

So she took in her Grandson (who was 19 at the time, and the two kids born two years apart.

This poor woman never had one day's peace in her life. And she had the father of the kids living in the house!!!!

Do you have any other help in the house?

The father threw up his hands and said: "I can't deal with them, they don't listen, (and the boy had no where near the challenges that your great grandkid has).

I cannot tell you how many times, someone banged at my door to ask "please go and help grandma (great grandma I mean).

I would go next door and find her sitting on the floor all confused (and she was 70 at this time). They had worn her ragged. One kid was hitting the other kid with a two by four. The great grandmother was clearly overwhelmed and I just said to the kids "where's you daddy"??? It seems he was in the bedroom hiding out from all the stress. AND HE WAS 30 at the time.

Please understand, I'm not trying to scare you, or tell you what to do. I'm trying to show you a clearer picture, that when one takes in kids who are emotionally and physically challenged, and one is a certain age, then one has to be prepared to devote ALL THEIR TIME, ENERGY AND RESOURCES to raising that child.

I saw this neighbor of mine deteriorate at a fast pace. Every single day I was called in that house. The screaming was unbelievable. The father could do nothing because he didn't know what to do. Yeah, the kids saw a psychiatrist and were medicated. It did no good. They did what they wanted to do.

We all suspect that the boy is bi-polar. He is now in jail. We all saw that coming. The girl is now 17 and doing her own thing.

The great grandma passed away two years ago. We never thought she would even make it to 80. I can truthfully tell you that she never had a day's peace in her life.

And the kids were entitled to social services, medicaid, everything, because she was their legal appointed guardian. But different states vary. You have to check on this.

The point I am trying to get to is "Think long and carefully about what you will be getting yourself into".

You sound like a very un-selfish caring, compassionate Grandmother.

You'll get lots of emotional support from us here at Neurotalks.

Just be very sure that you know what you will be undertaking if you decide to do this.

It's a tough call.

I most certainly wish you well.

Hi, Springforth! Welcome to NeuroTalk!

Wow, it sure sounds like a handful for anyone. My advice would be to get in touch with Natalie's local social services system and find out what kinds of advocacy are available to her specific needs. Maybe her psychologist has a list of viable resources to get the wee one the necessary help. I hope you'll find some helpful answers soon.

Hi Springforth! Welcome to Neurotalk!!

Hello Springforth and Welcome to NeuroTalk. I really can't help w/your questions, but wanted to chime in and Welcome you.