[Andy_Pablo]

Hi. Im Andy. Im 35 & have severe chronic pain due to a crushed & trapped nerve in my pelvis from long distance cycling.

My story story started three years ago when my father passed away. Me & my pops were extremely close before a falling out put distance between us. When he passed away, I didn't know how to deal with him never being around again & also never being able to patch things up. This ate away at me & I unfortunately locked myself away in my own head & became a bit of a 'character recluse'. This took a terrible toll on my thirteen year relationship & eighteen months ago, my girlfriend decided enough was enough & walked away. Cant say I entirely blame her, as I can see now that I wasn't the easiest to live with & love anymore. She summed it up by saying that she didn't think I was 'in love' with her anymore & that I wasn't the "happy go lucky cheeky chappy" that she had been in love with for many happy years...

After my relationship ended & I lost my home, I threw myself into a mixture of alcohol, cocaine & my job... Working 15+ hour days for five days per week & then drinking & snorting myself into oblivion for the other two, was how I lived my life for months after the split. I finally decided to sort myself out about July last year. Was going to the gym, running & cycling. I had always been extremely active with football, running, kickboxing, weights, surfing, etc, but I had never cycled. I had friends who cycled a lot, so I figured I would just join them. I picked up a road bike & set about regaining my fitness. Started off with small rides of about 15-20 miles & regained my fitness levels in a few weeks, so as I had a desire to push myself, I started to do 20-30 miles a few times in the week & my last cycle was a 50 mile ride. Unfortunately, as a complete novice, I was totally unaware that a bike needs to be set up for individual body size. My bike was set up completely wrong for my body shape/size & with doing so much, so quickly, I did damage to my pelvis & that crushed & trapped nerves. This has caused excruciating pain which starts from my hips & distributes itself down through my groin, to my knees.

It took a couple of months bad form from the cycling to make the pain become constant. I had ignored it to that point thinking I should just "man up" & it would sort itself out over time. Twelve months on & it has become worse & worse. It cost me my dream job as a graphic designer in the sports industry. In the space of three years, I had lost everything & was in pain I didn't realise existed so I looked for a way out. I was helped by my brother to get through the worst of my slide into my dark place.

As of today, I am in the process of receiving cortisone & anaesthetic injections to try & reduce pain & inflammation on the ligament to try & 'untrap' the nerve & hope it can settle itself over time. They don't really help much. I am told that it is unlikely that my injury will ever fully recover & the most probable scenario is that the pain becomes "manageable. I am practically housebound twelve months after initial injury & have had exactly six blissful days which have been what I would class as manageable.

I find it incredibly frustrating to have gone from being extremely active, to having to ask for help with the simplest of tasks. I also find it very difficult coping with not being able to continue with my career.

But despite all of the above, I am trying to look forward. I have a favourite quote which reads, "credula vitam spes fovet et melius cras fore semper dicit..." The translation for that is "credulous hope supports our life & always says that tomorrow will be better..." Despite the overall definition of credulity being one of gullibility, I choose to interpret it as 'trusting positivity'. I choose to have hope that tomorrow will be better, despite how unlikely it is. I have been at the bottom of a dark hole feeling the floor fall away & its not a fun place to feel like the loneliest person in a room even though you are with people who love & care about you. So I choose to try & see the good in most situations. I choose to believe in hope...


Cripes, that is a long post! Its good to get things off the chest though, so thank you for reading.

[Kitt]

Welcome Andy Pablo.

Someone will be along to help.

[Lara]

Hello Andy_Pablo,

Welcome to the NeuroTalk Support Groups.

I'm sorry to read you're in so much pain.

There is a
Chronic Pain Forum
but if you need any help finding your way around the various forums here, please just ask and someone will help you.

take care.

[Andy_Pablo]

Thank you for the welcome

[Darlene]

Andy,

It is great to have youcome and be with us. There are a great number of dear friends to listen when you are in need of ears. Please let us know how we can help you out. You will find out we are supportive and relaxing place.

Please keep us up to date on your condition. Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Darlene

[Koala77]

Hi there Andy_Pablo, and welcome from me as well.
I'm sorry you have all that to contend with, but I see that you've already been steered in the direction.
I hope you get some help soon.

[JK123]

Originally Posted by Andy_Pablo

Hi. Im Andy. Im 35 & have severe chronic pain due to a crushed & trapped nerve in my pelvis from long distance cycling.

My story story started three years ago when my father passed away. Me & my pops were extremely close before a falling out put distance between us. When he passed away, I didn't know how to deal with him never being around again & also never being able to patch things up. This ate away at me & I unfortunately locked myself away in my own head & became a bit of a 'character recluse'. This took a terrible toll on my thirteen year relationship & eighteen months ago, my girlfriend decided enough was enough & walked away. Cant say I entirely blame her, as I can see now that I wasn't the easiest to live with & love anymore. She summed it up by saying that she didn't think I was 'in love' with her anymore & that I wasn't the "happy go lucky cheeky chappy" that she had been in love with for many happy years...

After my relationship ended & I lost my home, I threw myself into a mixture of alcohol, cocaine & my job... Working 15+ hour days for five days per week & then drinking & snorting myself into oblivion for the other two, was how I lived my life for months after the split. I finally decided to sort myself out about July last year. Was going to the gym, running & cycling. I had always been extremely active with football, running, kickboxing, weights, surfing, etc, but I had never cycled. I had friends who cycled a lot, so I figured I would just join them. I picked up a road bike & set about regaining my fitness. Started off with small rides of about 15-20 miles & regained my fitness levels in a few weeks, so as I had a desire to push myself, I started to do 20-30 miles a few times in the week & my last cycle was a 50 mile ride. Unfortunately, as a complete novice, I was totally unaware that a bike needs to be set up for individual body size. My bike was set up completely wrong for my body shape/size & with doing so much, so quickly, I did damage to my pelvis & that crushed & trapped nerves. This has caused excruciating pain which starts from my hips & distributes itself down through my groin, to my knees.

It took a couple of months bad form from the cycling to make the pain become constant. I had ignored it to that point thinking I should just "man up" & it would sort itself out over time. Twelve months on & it has become worse & worse. It cost me my dream job as a graphic designer in the sports industry. In the space of three years, I had lost everything & was in pain I didn't realise existed so I looked for a way out. I was helped by my brother to get through the worst of my slide into my dark place.

As of today, I am in the process of receiving cortisone & anaesthetic injections to try & reduce pain & inflammation on the ligament to try & 'untrap' the nerve & hope it can settle itself over time. They don't really help much. I am told that it is unlikely that my injury will ever fully recover & the most probable scenario is that the pain becomes "manageable. I am practically housebound twelve months after initial injury & have had exactly six blissful days which have been what I would class as manageable.

I find it incredibly frustrating to have gone from being extremely active, to having to ask for help with the simplest of tasks. I also find it very difficult coping with not being able to continue with my career.

But despite all of the above, I am trying to look forward. I have a favourite quote which reads, "credula vitam spes fovet et melius cras fore semper dicit..." The translation for that is "credulous hope supports our life & always says that tomorrow will be better..." Despite the overall definition of credulity being one of gullibility, I choose to interpret it as 'trusting positivity'. I choose to have hope that tomorrow will be better, despite how unlikely it is. I have been at the bottom of a dark hole feeling the floor fall away & its not a fun place to feel like the loneliest person in a room even though you are with people who love & care about you. So I choose to try & see the good in most situations. I choose to believe in hope...


Cripes, that is a long post! Its good to get things off the chest though, so thank you for reading.

--------

Hi Andy,

Thanks for sharing your story. There seems to be a common thread for many of us on this site in that we suffered emotional traumas and were often workaholics before our conditions occurred. I think this is not a coincidence.
I am looking into MindBody healing which suggests that repressed rage can cause pain.

I also find it hard to go from being a very active person (physically and mentally) to someone who has to rely on others to get basic things done. Its frustrating and I feel guilty for asking for help so much. I suppose we have to learn to get over that.

I also want to believe in hope. Take care.

[ginnie]

Welcome to NT. You are awesome. Even after your painful experiences, you still express hope. Do you know how that effects the rest of us to have hope when none seems to be available?
I hope that your recovery can go further. Have you tried neuro muscular therapy? This is what athletes use when they blow out a body part. I blew out my arm and the ulner nerve from over work. I have been in intensive therapy to get this smashed nerve to calm down. It isn't trapped, it is squashed from the muscles and tendons being inflamed.
This neuro massage is nothing like regular massage. It is special and your pain specialist will know about it. Works in conjunction with shots. I do not take steroids, but lidocane injections into the nerve, to calm it. It breaks the pain cycle. Shots hurt, but they help more than any steroid I ever tried.
Let me know if you decide to look into this kind of therapy. If you do it, be prepared... it hurts, and it hurts a lot. I have had good results with reduction in pain in just 6 sessions. ginnie

[Andy_Pablo]

Thank you all for the warm welcome. Its nice to find a place to get things off the chest with people who understand. I feel that the empathy of family & friends can sometimes run dry. As you all probably can associate with, sympathy is not what I am after, but friends being able to understand why I cant do the things I used to, despite physically looking the same (albeit without my abs) is all I desire. Well, apart from manageable pain, lol...

I hadn't heard of neuro muscular therapy Ginnie. I will do a little research into that & nod my doctor in that direction to see what their thoughts are.

Hope is all we have. I have been of the negative mindset & it tipped me to breaking point, so a conscious choice of looking for positives, no matter how small, is extremely important & really does help. I am also aware that many many others have things far worse than I do...

[ginnie]

My pain specialist is the one who told me about this kind of therapy. The field is called " Certified Neuromuscular therapist" Oh she would give pain meds, that wasn't the issue. I wanted to keep my arm, I am an artist, and I was losing function of the whole arm. After 4 MRI's, EMG's and 6 doctors, Yep I blew my arm out. So this therapy was introduced to me. She got me to this type of therapist, and believe me " IT HURTS" just as bad as the pain you feel now. However..... I am 6 sessions into it, and there is a reduction in the intensity of the pain. So I say, bring on the pain, if that is what it takes to resolve this and get me back to some kind of normal.
I don't know if it can work for you Andy. But there is something to this high teck sports medicine. You did injure being in a sport, so just maybe this is something that would indeed help. Your nerve is injured, and so is mine. Look into it. I didn't really believe it would work, or really what it was all about. I go back Friday with my cry rag, and some kind of really good music,, and welcome the pain. good luck. ginnie