[paleko]

I just did an internet search about loneliness, emptiness, and depression and found this website. I sit here at home, all by myself, for days on end. My husband works away from home for weeks at a time. I used to work, but because my job responsibilities (management) became so time consuming, I quit. Now, in stark contrast to my old life, I have no pressure, no contact with others, except for occasional phone calls from friends. I feel so lonely and empty. I am not even sure why I am posting on this website... perhaps it is just to reach out to someone out there who feels the same emptiness I do. I have no right to complain about my life because it is good. I have a husband who loves me, great kids, money is not a huge issue. Life is just boring, bland, blah. I go to bed at night by myself, I wake up by myself. I get a couple of phone calls during the day from my husband and kids. I look at the walls in my house, but I am not even sure if I have turned my lights on. I get onto the internet to try to find something to spark my interest in something, but nothing seems to spark my energy or interest any more.

Does anyone else ever feel this way? I went to my doctor a year ago and sat in her office, crying my eyes out, telling her how depressed I feel. She asked me if there had been any major changes in my life. I told her no, even though I knew that there had been and she knew about it. I had been put on life support and nearly died just six months previous for a common pneumonia. That experience dominates my life. I am so afraid to be alone because I am afraid that it will happen again and one of my children will find me. My husband's job requires that he be gone most of the time.

Sometimes, I get involved in community things and I feel so good about it. I love to have contact with people and to feel useful again. But, all of that is so short-lived and I find myself stuck here at home, all by myself, again. Does anyone have any motivating suggestions that may help me. I know that diet, exercise, friends, community involvement all help, but it is only fleeting. I have the rest of my life ahead of me and I don't know what to do with it. I think about death and realize that it would be okay as long as I have things in order in my life. My children are adults now and can manage on their own. I am not suicidal! Please don't even think that. I am just thinking that it is okay for my life to end... not by suicide, but by illness or accident. I am so insignificant in the big picture of this world.

Paleko

[Alffe]

Hi Paleko and welcome to NeuroTalk. You sound like you have a lot to offer and we both know that there is a need. Our local hospitals depend on volunteers to wheel patients around, our nursing homes need volunteer to read, write letters, help feed..etc their patients. Like you, I feel best about life in general and about myself when I am helping someone.

We have a depression forum, a social forum (lots of giggles there) Please jump in anywhere..you'll like it here!

don't be alarmed by my signature...it's always there..I understand that you aren't suicidal.

[jess18]

Hello and Welcome as well. I am new to the forum, and agree with Alffle about helping others. I was actually looking into volunteering at our hospital when I feel a bit better as it feels so good to help someone else.
I know when I feel depressed, I do try and look at the big picture. Look at what is important in life. I hope you enjoy being a part of this forum and will continue to share your feelings , and I hope you do feel better.

Jess

[Kitty]

Hi Paleko and welcome to NeuroTalk! I echo what the others have suggested.....helping others is a great way to make yourself feel better and help others at the same time!

Here is the link to our General Mental Health & Emotional support Forum:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum85.html

We also have a Depression forum...here is that link:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum37.html

There's also a Social Chat Forum....where anything and everything is discussed

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum35.html

Please take a look around and join in wherever you feel most comfortable. Everyone here is very friendly, supportive and caring. I'm so glad you found us and joined the group!

[MooseasaurusRex]

One big, warm, tight, hug, handshake and howdy, moose-size official type welcome to the site. This place is amazing!

Now then, when you talked to your doc did they offer any help in the way of meds and anti depressants? I had to swallow my pride years ago and go to the doc for similiar problems that you are expiriencing. I don't like knowing I have to be medicated but it has helped me A LOT!

And always remember;

You are not alone.
You are one of us.
And we are here to help.

[FranksAngel]

... herekitty gave excellent links for you to start with ... surf the threads and join in where you feel most comfortable ... NT has lots of friendly, caring, and helpful people ... you are not alone

[paleko]

Originally Posted by Alffe

Hi Paleko and welcome to NeuroTalk. You sound like you have a lot to offer and we both know that there is a need. Our local hospitals depend on volunteers to wheel patients around, our nursing homes need volunteer to read, write letters, help feed..etc their patients. Like you, I feel best about life in general and about myself when I am helping someone.

We have a depression forum, a social forum (lots of giggles there) Please jump in anywhere..you'll like it here!

don't be alarmed by my signature...it's always there..I understand that you aren't suicidal.

Thank you for your kind response. I agree with you there is a need for volunteers, not only in hospitals, but in the community in general. I volunteer for many things and am always looking for volunteer opportunities, but I realize that it is not enough to satisfy my needs as a person. I realize that my issues are with lonlieness within my home life and I should not have even bothered to take up anyone's time here. I will look around further on this website because it seems very useful to everyone who posts here.

Thank you again for your kind words.

Paleko

[Darlene]

Hello and welcome to NeuroTalk. Great to see you have come to be with us. Just let us know if we can be of any help.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around.

Darlene

[Twinkletoes]

Welcome paleko!

Have you thought about getting a pet? It may be just the thing to lift your spirits while you're home, but no longer "alone."

Glad you found us! Join in anywhere!

[weegot5kiz]

Welcome Paleko to Neuro Talk, glad you found us, enjoy your time here learn, grow and and answer when you can. This site has lot of helpful kind and fun people. Take your time look around and do not hesitate to jump in anywhere. again welcome to NT