I will do what I can to stay on track and focused.

Me before April:
25 Full time student mom of 2 little ones. overall generally healthy. i eat well exercise regularly maintain my stress. sleep 9-12 hours a night, its crazy i know ive never had problems with sleeping, only regular thing is ADHD and anxiety which i have always had and have been treated for off an on since i was 14 (no new meds)


at the end of march i had bronchitis prescribed zpac, steroids, and cough medicine. everything was fine till a week later i was doing laundry when all of a sudden i was taken to my knees with pain i cant even explain. i thought i ruptured my ear drum.
i decided to wait untill i finished the antibiotics before i went back, im not one to waste time or over react. pain didnt go away it died off but it hurt pretty bad.
I AM MAKING THE DAYS UP
Monday back to dr oh you probably have fluid behind your ear drum steroids augmentin

Friday-pain attack so bad i had to pull over and a friend had to take me home

sunday-ER said oh well it looks like you have TN here is pain medicine see a specialist

tuesday-clinic pain had not gone away it wasnt horrid but it had me on the couch- you have an ear infection here is some 200$ ear drops

2 weeks went by untill i had had enough i made a drs appointment for any and every dr i could if i wasnt turned away i was just given ear drops.

a month passes i finally get a dr to listen to me and she sends me to ENT.
HEARING-excellent
SINUS-clear
MRI and CT-clear
go see a neurologist

NEUROLOGIST-after a 30 min argument about how i KNEW i didnt have a migraine i got sent home with migraine meds and was told to come back in 2 months.

then i got on google for days and came across "geniculate neuralgia" and when i say i cried from tears of joy i mean it. it was like i was writing up my story.
i hardly sleep any more my 'attacks" last between 24-48 hours and can be an easy one where i just eat pain meds and lay in bed with the feeling of a knife in the side of my head to severe where it comes out of nowhere and it feels like i have been shot. the past few ones have been that bad i literally just go outside and cry (so my kids dont see) when the initial screaming goes away i all but crawl back inside for some reason it blurs my eyes and i cant walk (i think that is my bodies sad way of trying to help with the pain) I went to the er a few times b/c my mom couldnt stand me crying after giving me morphine and stating my pain was still a 6 i was told i needed to see a neurosurgeon.

while in the process of getting my medical records to him my insurance was canceled they need a letter saying "i cant work or go to school" problem is i cant find a dr who will write a letter or even acknowledge the fact that GN is what i possibly have. i did find a dr who has prescribed me pain meds and gabapentin 600mg a day...which that doesnt help with the pain or preventing attacks im just fat now but it helps me to sleep so i take it.

I am at a stand still as of now and I just dont know what to do. I am getting pain meds from errrm "friends" i even tried "smoking" once and that didnt work it actually made me depressed b/c i was for sure it would help. my life is completely on hold. i had to take my kids out of gymnastics since i never know when i can drive. i never get to leave the house. i had an attack in walmart once and a total stranger brought me home b/c i refused to get in the ambulance with my kids. i am sick of not having answers i am sick of being in this pain i feel like a bear always yelling i hate the world and my catch phrase it "i want to blow the side of my head off, not die just take the pain away"

to summarize and since i cant remember what all i put between the pain, gabapentin, and pain meds i have no brains or short term memory.

but in case i didnt specify-right side severe deep ear pain, jaw pain, mastoid pain. all of these are a daily sort of thing then i have "attacks" several times a week.
ct-clear mri-clear contrast mri-clear...blood work normal...no sort of infection anywhere since bronchitis...still completely healthy except i am now wayyy over weight (bp is still excellent)

ANY HELP IDEAS THOUGHTS AN ENCOURAGING WORD PERHAPS???
i just want to know i am not alone. i am so desperate i dont know what to do