[Darlene]

A blonde & her husband are lying in bed
Listening to the next door neighbor's dog..
It has been in the backyard barking for hours
& hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and
says, "I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The blonde says,
"I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!

>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two Blondes With Hammers...

Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work
on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn was nailing down house siding,
would reach into her nail ,
Pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it
over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into,
asked, 'Why are you Throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my
pouch, about half of Them have the head on the
wrong end & I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't Defective!
They're for the other side of the house!'


>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Did you hear about the two blondes
who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'


>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You might have to think twice about this one.

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late
one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this
happen?' the emergency Room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the
blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to
commit suicide by shooting Off your finger?'
'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun
to my chest, & Then I thought, 'I just paid
$6, 000.00 for these implants...
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun
in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting
myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is
going to make a Loud noise. So I put my finger in my
other ear before I pulled the Trigger.


>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught
in a really bad Hailstorm.. Her car was covered with
dents, so the next day she took it To a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
Decided to have some fun... He told her to go home
and blow into the Tail pipe really hard, & all the dents
would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands &
knees & started Blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing
happened.. So she blew a little Harder, & still nothing
Happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you
doing?' The first Blonde told her how the repairman had
instructed her to blow into the Tail pipe in order to get all the
dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'


>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

These are just too cute not to pass on!!!!

A blonde was shopping at Target &
came across a shiny silver Thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
It to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!'
So she Bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk.
'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things
Cold,' she replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied......
'Two popsicles & some coffee.'


>+++++++++++++

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies,
'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
My mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says,
'Why don't you go home for the
Day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it &
I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde.
'I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!'

[Alffe]

You might have to think twice about this one.

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late
one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this
happen?' the emergency Room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the
blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to
commit suicide by shooting Off your finger?'
'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun
to my chest, & Then I thought, 'I just paid
$6, 000.00 for these implants...
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun
in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting
myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is
going to make a Loud noise. So I put my finger in my
other ear before I pulled the Trigger


Hmmm, I think I'd think more than twice about that one. It's hard to find anything humorous about suicide.

But I laughed out loud at the other ones Darlene.