In 2008, the Lord came to Noah, who was now living in the US, and said:"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before Me."
"Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying,"You have 6 months to build the ark before I'll start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
6 months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard-but no ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where's the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah,"but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision."
"Then the Dept. of Transportation demanded that a bond be posted for the future cost of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them the sea would be coming to us, but they'd hear nothing of it.
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists I needed to wood to save the owls, but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accomodations were too restructive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
"Then the EPA ruled I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood.
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
"The trades unions say I can't use sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it'd take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked: 'You mean You're not gvoing to destroyt he world?"
"No," said the Lord,"the government beat me to it!"::