so funny!!!

love the drummer/conductor joke

A man died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates,
he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.

Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that ?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved,
indicating she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one ?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.

The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire Life."

"Where's President Bush's clock ?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office......
He's using it as a ceiling fan

a ceiling fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so funny!
that is hysterical!!!!!!!!!

There once was a man named McBride
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
His grief-stricken brother,
Fell into the other,
And now they're in turd side by side.