[reverett123]

Originally Posted by moondaughter

Rick,

your post gives new meaning to the old adage "All roadds lead to Rome"

its the forest for the trees syndrome....the ........ m a t r i x do dodddodododdododoodddododoodo

if it is true that the whole is greeater than the sum of its parts - that we are all a sort of hologram - that in a single cell of oour body can be found the blueprint for the whole of it ...well then ...what does that say about our humanity? and free will? whose steeering the ship?

There we go

[reverett123]

(Warning- Water is not the only thing that may get deep around here )

Just for a starter, yes, current physics does indicate that the Universe is a big holographic storage unit of some sort and that each bit of Something contains a picture of Everything.

And we are nothing in that universe.

Except that we are its center and that It needs us to exist.

The Vastness is so impersonal.

Yet, every sparrow is, indeed, watched.

And loved.

(Is that a HighCoo or something? )

(Have you ever noticed how the Yogis giggle like madmen?)

[moondaughter]

(Have you ever noticed how the Yogis giggle like madmen?) [/QUOTE]

I can't even imagine what being the son of an alcoholic would be like. Interesting that you became ann expert in managing boundaries. Also a tireless inquiring mind and a great patience you possess.
thankyou rick for responding to my philosophical musings - we just have to learn how to respond instead of react - a challenge in a dualistic world!

[reverett123]

Originally Posted by moondaughter

(Have you ever noticed how the Yogis giggle like madmen?)

I can't even imagine what being the son of an alcoholic would be like.
Not a bit of knowledge that I would wish upon you Moondauhter. Sort of like that feeling in your mid-section just before you are to give a speech, only it doesn't go away.

Interesting that you became ann expert in managing boundaries. Also a tireless inquiring mind and a great patience you possess.
And thank you for the kind words.

thankyou rick for responding to my philosophical musings - we just have to learn how to respond instead of react - a challenge in a dualistic world![/QUOTE]

[moondaughter]

Originally Posted by reverett123

I can't even imagine what being the son of an alcoholic would be like.
[B]Not a bit of knowledge that I would wish upon you Moondauhter. Sort of like that feeling in your mid-section just before you are to give a speech, only it doesn't go away.[/B

[/QUOTE]

Recently I visited a shaman who instructed me to become aware of the power (for lack of a betterr explanation} emanating from just below thhe belly. he emphasized the importancee of good posture and reccomended to hold my body at a slighht angle when being confronted by those who are angry, critical , manipulative etc so that my heart chakra is not wide open to them.

reading your response the feeling i get is being frozen in fear....exposed -guesss how i know lately I am beginning to wonder about the wisdom of "to heal it you have to feel it" verses a contextual shift where instead of reliving old wounds instead switch the focus to what relaxes us and explore that. takes me off of defense..ini yoga class i am beiing ttaught to be very very kind - not to push but rather to focus on the places in my body where there is ease and tto see iif my awareness can expand that ease.

have you heard of the mandlebrot set ? youtube has interesting videos on this subject. comes to minnd for me when i think of feeling trapped in a fear pattern or being released into ease pattern. like attracts like. guess we are learning patience but learning how to trust..well for mme curriously i am learning that by controlling my impulses i am establishing a way to trust myself.. stepp by sttep dear frieend ....patience and be kind to yourself.

love,
sharilyn

[reverett123]

Sharilyn-
I have a poster of the Mandlebrot set pinned to my office wall. It always fascinated me that such complexity could come from simplicity. I've always thought that its being "created" from a very few simple equations was a hint about the mystery of the Universe.

I am being forced to reexamine a large part of my life, not all of it pleasant, and renew the acquaintance of some old ghosts thought dead. The idea of the PD personality did not spring full blown from the forehead of any of us, but we do share certain traits at a higher level than the general population.

I wonder if the general umbrella of "childhood stress induced traits" would cover much of it? Hypervigilance would be one of mine. An aversion to anger and a powerful self-control, as well. And an ability to "read" others' emotions. Survival tools when you are young. Do those fit you in some form?

Chronic elevation of powerful chemicals would take a toll of some sort. We know that adrenaline (acute stressor) sends us off the deep end. Is it because we over produce or over react, I wonder? And the aversion to anger, etc. Is it simple conditioning ala Skinner? Or does a part of us know that those chemicals destroy us, so we avoid them and seek not novelty? The Hero pays a price. That is one of the reasons he got the job.

[Conductor71]

Originally Posted by reverett123

Sharilyn-

I am being forced to reexamine a large part of my life, not all of it pleasant, and renew the acquaintance of some old ghosts thought dead. The idea of the PD personality did not spring full blown from the forehead of any of us, but we do share certain traits at a higher level than the general population.

I wonder if the general umbrella of "childhood stress induced traits" would cover much of it? Hypervigilance would be one of mine. An aversion to anger and a powerful self-control, as well. And an ability to "read" others' emotions. Survival tools when you are young. Do those fit you in some form?

Interesting, Rick. I can say that I have an alcoholic parent who I am still parenting. When he is sober, he says very little. When he is drunk, he says too much. Moondaughter hits it...no boundaries. Needless to say, my father, who also has a tremor (PD never emerged), doesn't know of my diagnosis though I need him now more than ever. I am that vigilant child again looking out for him... Is this what happens to me for protecting my father's fragile emotional state?

In this regard I do have that "classic PD" personality trait, but here is where we differ. Instead of avoiding novelty, I embraced it. I feared it, mind you, yet I embraced it. When most people were married and having kids, I was quitting a professional position and gallivanting off to Paris at the ripe age of 32...married at 33! <gasp>. Divorced. First child at age 41. I have done just the opposite of what was expected of me.

Rick, I think your theory is sound, I just want to point out that being reserved or non-risk taking as a expression of PD doesn't fit for all of us. Rather we should look to expression of extremes. Novelty seeking vs. stability; they are just sides of the same coin. Our personalities are just as imbalanced as the rest of us. Funny, though all the while I was chasing baguettes, I was yearning really for a stable, reliable partner, someone I could depend on, yet no one would have ever guessed it because I didn't even know that is what I needed and wanted...

Laura

[reverett123]

Laura-
I am sorry, but I should have continued my tale of life. Leaving it as I did gives only part of the picture.

We last saw Hero Child (that's me) trying to hold it all together as the leaks in the dam worsened and the jute mill exploded....

At the age of 17, the Counter Culture came to my little corner of Appalachia and I joined up. Heck, I and a half dozen friends opened the local franchise. I stopped trying to save my family, "allowed" my father to commit suicide, and wished my mother well as she boarded a bus to begin a new life in New Orleans. Eating large amounts of illicit chemicals, engaging in wild behaviors, and generally turning my bare butt to society. But, even in these heady days (pun intended), the ingrained nature remained- one does not drive when one should not; anyone who uses a syringe is not welcome in the circle; there's more to it than just getting sloppy; some pills are just an alcohol concentrate and alcohol is dummy dope; etc.

Even in embracing decadence I remained stubbornly responsible. As I reached my early 20s and began to emerge from that phase of life, I met my wife and married. Like me, another Hero Child pushing angels aside to get there first, but with the added benefit of her obvious need for me to protect her from the world (silly girl didn't even know it ). Then 25 years of being strong as life delivered blow after blow. And, finally, a tremor as my body said "Enough, already!" Fast forward ten years to today - health ragged, marriage shakey, bankrupt. And I am just as stupidly responsible as ever! Haven't learned a thing on the levels that count. Not sure that I want to anymore. After all, I've ridden the beast this far. And, let's face it, the world would pretty well suck without the Heroes (you know who you are). I just wish it weren't so damned hard. (For the rest of you, I mean. I can handle it. )

Originally Posted by Conductor71

Interesting, Rick. I can say that I have an alcoholic parent who I am still parenting. When he is sober, he says very little. When he is drunk, he says too much. Moondaughter hits it...no boundaries. Needless to say, my father, who also has a tremor (PD never emerged), doesn't know of my diagnosis though I need him now more than ever. I am that vigilant child again looking out for him... Is this what happens to me for protecting my father's fragile emotional state?

In this regard I do have that "classic PD" personality trait, but here is where we differ. Instead of avoiding novelty, I embraced it. I feared it, mind you, yet I embraced it. When most people were married and having kids, I was quitting a professional position and gallivanting off to Paris at the ripe age of 32...married at 33! <gasp>. Divorced. First child at age 41. I have done just the opposite of what was expected of me.

Rick, I think your theory is sound, I just want to point out that being reserved or non-risk taking as a expression of PD doesn't fit for all of us. Rather we should look to expression of extremes. Novelty seeking vs. stability; they are just sides of the same coin. Our personalities are just as imbalanced as the rest of us. Funny, though all the while I was chasing baguettes, I was yearning really for a stable, reliable partner, someone I could depend on, yet no one would have ever guessed it because I didn't even know that is what I needed and wanted...

Laura

[reverett123]

....and an interesting read for those who dare not, which is the majority-
http://www.biologyofkundalini.com/

"Ellie Van Winkle suggests emotional repression of the full expression of the fight/flight response and the consequent lack of resolution back to a neutral set point, results in the atrophy and toxicosis in catecholamine-noradrenergic neurons. A toxin is anything that cannot be utilized by the cell, and when elimination is impaired, toxins accumulate to intolerable levels and trigger a detoxification process. This cycle of toxification and detoxification shows up in the form of a mild to extreme disturbance in the emotions and personality.....

....Our brain falls into patterns of cyclic neurotoxicity as a result of emotional repression of the fight/flight mechanism during early trauma, social stress, abandonment or deprivation of needs during in our infancy. Thus the neurotoxicity that is addressed by kundalini awakenings is the repressive mechanism built into our primary wiring (0-5 years development). This initial patterning becomes the template for ongoing emotional repression, and lack of neuron-recouperation, which interferes with the smooth running of our catecholamine "activating" neurons. (The Catecholamine metabolism proceeds from tyrosine, to DOPA, to dopamine to norepinephrine and then to epinephrine.)...

....Babies suppress fight/flight responses when their needs are so unmet that they go into a freeze response. The vegetative unmyelinated vagus controls basic metabolism and responds to stress by "immobilisation behaviours." Domesticated animals including humans are sub-natural when it comes to releasing the tension of both fight/flight and freeze. Also as children under punitive authoritarian rule, when our caretakers and teachers are not truly our "friends," we are encouraged to "lie" by inhibiting the expression of fear, anger, sadness, and so the neurotic, dissociated false self that doesn't know what it feels is built. Kundalini awakenings constitute a mechanism for the ultimate release of this primal repression, allowing our brains to evolve and mature beyond the ongoing cycles of repression/neurotoxicity/detoxification....."

[moondaughter]

Originally Posted by reverett123

....and an interesting read for those who dare not, which is the majority-
http://www.biologyofkundalini.com/

"Ellie Van Winkle suggests emotional repression of the full expression of the fight/flight response and the consequent lack of resolution back to a neutral set point, results in the atrophy and toxicosis in catecholamine-noradrenergic neurons. A toxin is anything that cannot be utilized by the cell, and when elimination is impaired, toxins accumulate to intolerable levels and trigger a detoxification process. This cycle of toxification and detoxification shows up in the form of a mild to extreme disturbance in the emotions and personality.....

....Our brain falls into patterns of cyclic neurotoxicity as a result of emotional repression of the fight/flight mechanism during early trauma, social stress, abandonment or deprivation of needs during in our infancy. Thus the neurotoxicity that is addressed by kundalini awakenings is the repressive mechanism built into our primary wiring (0-5 years development). This initial patterning becomes the template for ongoing emotional repression, and lack of neuron-recouperation, which interferes with the smooth running of our catecholamine "activating" neurons. (The Catecholamine metabolism proceeds from tyrosine, to DOPA, to dopamine to norepinephrine and then to epinephrine.)...

....Babies suppress fight/flight responses when their needs are so unmet that they go into a freeze response. The vegetative unmyelinated vagus controls basic metabolism and responds to stress by "immobilisation behaviours." Domesticated animals including humans are sub-natural when it comes to releasing the tension of both fight/flight and freeze. Also as children under punitive authoritarian rule, when our caretakers and teachers are not truly our "friends," we are encouraged to "lie" by inhibiting the expression of fear, anger, sadness, and so the neurotic, dissociated false self that doesn't know what it feels is built. Kundalini awakenings constitute a mechanism for the ultimate release of this primal repression, allowing our brains to evolve and mature beyond the ongoing cycles of repression/neurotoxicity/detoxification....."

THANK YOU, thank you Rick for posting this!! WOW!:


“The process of Awakening is the hardest thing in the world to do for the simple reason that we must confront ourselves. Rather than attempting to formulate "reasons" for our behavior and engagement of life, we have to come to clearly see we are not and have not been Awake.” Garwin Redman

I've heard it said that those who have developed their 6th sense of vision and can "see" auras have observed that when a person is in a state of fear their chi moves backwards which was the fundamental observation of Janice-Walton Hadlock of pders. Testimony to the intricate and varied electrical pathways of our subtle bodies. In homeopathy we know that healing occurs first in the subtle energy bodies before physical changes manifest.

I wonder about the physiological changes that can awaken the firey serpent- when my husband had a vasectomy he experienced a very mild sense of fire going up his spine. THen there are the poisons that play a role in Kundalini (such as diethyl ether given to birthing women and in my case Dethylstiburol- DES to women at risk of miscarriage). Recent studies indicate relationship to MS with menopause!

We come from the "children are to be seen but not heard" generation. A time when breastfeeding went out of vogue and evaporated milk replaced the all important DHA rich breast milk.

I feel that "freeze response" when I become vulnerable. In homeopathy school I volunteered to have my case taken by my class (about 30 MDs, DOs and NDs)...stupid me....this was just about the time the tremors began). to my own suprise when I got up in the front of the class (that I was previously a happy and very verbal particpant in) I froze deep down inside - the tension in the room was palpable and thick- all my tension...i felt deeply humiliated and all those docs and a worldclass homeopath - well - the prescription was cannabis indica (homeopathic)- which didn't seem to help much although it may have as i think that everything we do to help ourselves goes towards our evolution even if at the time it doesn't feel that way. Then there was the time I called into talk to Caroline Myss on hayhouse radio (an audience of hundreds of thousands world wide) and i asked her if she could help me identify where the fear was coming from and even Caroline, a worldclass medical intuitive seemed a bit dumbfounded. Its as if the boundaries that contain my soul were sort of like phosphorous....no boundaries.

md