Every once in a while you get a glimmer of hope, a glimpse of what could be flashes in your mind.
The hope of the approval of "the pump" has given that to me. Another one of my friends retired today from the fire department. I worked for a neighboring department and had to take medical early retirement due to PD. I am fortunate to be able to have a benefit to fall back on. Looking back I don't wonder what it may have been like had I continued working. It was my time to go. I never was one of those meek ones to just idly comply and I while not a problem employee, was a union officer and never missed an opportunity to rock the boat, hold management's toes to the line. In fact I chuckle when I think back to a time when I met with 6 Division of Labor officials over what we felt were errors being made in our pay calculations. When a secretary interrupted the meeting for a trivial reason and the head of the group locked the door after she left, word of that got out and I knew i wasn't going to be on the promotion list, ha, oh well!
That being said for the past 15 yrs. there have been struggles and
trials (my wife of 18 yrs left me). My retirement and social security have been there like clockwork. I have had to learn to stress less over what could not be done or had to be put off. I've had to learn my limitations. Basically, I've had no stress. Really, I mean that, no work deadlines, rumor mill crap to put up with, workplace conflicts, getting up if I didn't want to. (Now I want to but still can't get up!) I guess I've been rambling, sorry. I think of it like a car in a restoration project. I'm older but there's been little wear n tear, lots of relaxing, naps, reflecting, reading. I'm definitely wiser, don't take as much for granted. And ya know what? I've got a great woman in my life now. Someone who loves me, supports me, and deserves better but she is happy to be at my side. She is not afraid to hold the door for me. I can't wait until they get that pump on the market, put the wheels back on and let me down off the rack! I've got some doors to hold open for her and lots of catching up to do! They don't come often but I have had a great day!

Happy for you, Jim! You just gotta keep what is important front and center. I recently read of a person with ALS who tracked his physical decline on Patients Like Me, but for the last few months of his life, he also charted his emotions.
The chart only allowed for the following emotions: love. happiness. joy
That about covers it

Laura