[Niggs]

A short while ago, I used to look after two young lads, same age as my son, after school. Their parents are close friends and needed child care. I stepped up, fed them, entertained them and for once felt useful.
It did my mental health a world of good, somebody actually needing me !

But one night as their father chatted briefly during pick-up, he asked me if I would be going to his party. I replied, as usual, depends how I feel on the night. In response to this he slammed his hand on the table and said "cards on the table Nige, you're so obsessed with your illness that I find you so boring that I don't want to come round"

This from a man who continually professes to care ! The irony is that the bare minimum a non-medical person can do for a PWP is to listen and yet that seems to be too much for him.

I adopted the stance of being 'the better man', apologised for the sake of the our two families, took it on the chin for the greater good. But it got me thinking of people's attitudes and concluded the worst are what I call the 'Christmas Cracker Councellors' a reference to the pathetic corny jokes found in British novelty crackers. So in line with my latest OCD manifestation I'v put my thoughts to rhyme. Hope you enjoy the following ditty (it ain't poetry lol !) Apologies for the one word of profanity, poetic licence,

CHRISTMAS CRACKER COUNSELLORS

Its Christmas Cracker Counsellors I hate the most,
“ Yeah I helped the poor sod cope” they like to Boast
With their patronising manner they lean in and say,
“make the most of your every remaining day “
Such a clichéd sentiment is pathetic and trite,
only from children would I accept such shite.
Their motivation to speak is not what you think,
while fawning they give a nod and a wink.
In order to say take a good look at me,
Aren't I the king of philanthropy .
Some I grant don't know what to say,
if so say nothing, it's really ok.
I know I can make folk ill at ease,
with my demanding little disease,
but if you claim to really care,
take on board this simple dare.
Take some time to find out more
think about the things you saw.
Don't treat me with pity or sympathy
give me understanding and empathy.

Nigel

[Thelma]

Every place in the world have people that we think are kind and not really caring but at least willing to take a moment to listen I think you have just been used by someone as a convenient babysitter and from the sound of what you say and write he will be the biggest loser here as it is his children that will suffer from your companionship. If it is forever I sincerely hope they remember you and make the comparison between you and him, there then will be the winners so forget this fool and live with your memories of a better time spent with the kids. Let the fool fall on his own sword.

[Jomar]

That was a very rude thing for him to say..no matter what his reason..
Most nice , normal people would say "I sure hope you feel up to it"

[HarryM]

My position on this is "Hire the handicapped, we're fun to watch". But seriously, this man Is ignorant and insensitive and over that, you have no control.

[Niggs]

Originally Posted by HarryM

My position on this is "Hire the handicapped, we're fun to watch". But seriously, this man Is ignorant and insensitive and over that, you have no control.

Harry,

A man after my own heart, "we're fun to watch" love it !!


Though I stand before him at the lowest ebb of pain and penury I am the better man.


Nigel

[Nan Cyclist]

A couple of months ago my 42 year old son said essentially the same thing to me. Something to the effect that all my conversations somehow involve a reference to PD and it got old. I was furious and wanted nothing to do with him for a while, and then my husband gently asked if there might be some truth to what was said. It didn't take long for me to recognize that, in fact, I Was boring and was talking about myself when I needed to be focused outward instead of constantly thinking and talking about me. I'm grateful to my son and husband and I'm much happier as well. It was a tremendously painful lesson to learn.

[HarryM]

If someone tells you to "walk a mile in my shoes" take them up on it. The worst thing that can happen is that you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have another pair of shoes.

I think, when PWP are inwardly focused we are searching for answers and hoping,, just hoping, that the answer may be just around the corner. So to them I say "Walk a mile in my shoes" and show a little tolerance and empathy to someone less fortunate than yourself.

[pegleg]

Who does this guy think he is? Does he think he can scare the disease out of you. I would have had to talk back. I would sla[ my hand on the table and said, "Until you are in this body and feel the way I do, I don't think you have any right to say a word to me about being "obsessed" with Parkinson's!) Then I would have quietly walked away. GRRR! That PO'd me!
Peg

Originally Posted by Niggs

A short while ago, I used to look after two young lads, same age as my son, after school. Their parents are close friends and needed child care. I stepped up, fed them, entertained them and for once felt useful.
It did my mental health a world of good, somebody actually needing me !

But one night as their father chatted briefly during pick-up, he asked me if I would be going to his party. I replied, as usual, depends how I feel on the night. In response to this he slammed his hand on the table and said "cards on the table Nige, you're so obsessed with your illness that I find you so boring that I don't want to come round"

This from a man who continually professes to care ! The irony is that the bare minimum a non-medical person can do for a PWP is to listen and yet that seems to be too much for him.

I adopted the stance of being 'the better man', apologised for the sake of the our two families, took it on the chin for the greater good. But it got me thinking of people's attitudes and concluded the worst are what I call the 'Christmas Cracker Councellors' a reference to the pathetic corny jokes found in British novelty crackers. So in line with my latest OCD manifestation I'v put my thoughts to rhyme. Hope you enjoy the following ditty (it ain't poetry lol !) Apologies for the one word of profanity, poetic licence,

CHRISTMAS CRACKER COUNSELLORS

Its Christmas Cracker Counsellors I hate the most,
“ Yeah I helped the poor sod cope” they like to Boast
With their patronising manner they lean in and say,
“make the most of your every remaining day “
Such a clichéd sentiment is pathetic and trite,
only from children would I accept such shite.
Their motivation to speak is not what you think,
while fawning they give a nod and a wink.
In order to say take a good look at me,
Aren't I the king of philanthropy .
Some I grant don't know what to say,
if so say nothing, it's really ok.
I know I can make folk ill at ease,
with my demanding little disease,
but if you claim to really care,
take on board this simple dare.
Take some time to find out more
think about the things you saw.
Don't treat me with pity or sympathy
give me understanding and empathy.

Nigel

[Niggs]

Hi

I just wanted to thank you wonderful people for your support and comments.
You've restored my faith in human nature.

There is a follow up story.

This chap and his two boys have formed a band and one of the boys asked me to write some lyrics. As my father taught me "two wrongs dont make a right " I agreed.
When I sent the lyrics I got a reply saying "wow ! they're so cool,you're the best Nige, we love you".
They played the song 'Mary the Mask' at a local club, I turned up unexpectedly and it was hugs all round........and a very grovelling,red faced dad.

I seem to have caused a bit of negative emotion with this thread so as a thankyou and an attempt to balance things out I'v put one of my proper Agonist fueled poems below.

Nigel

WHAT I SEE



A Summer mist, dew drop silken screen floating above a field,
adorns the verdant sheen, to warm caress soon will yield,
simple beauty briefly seen.


A field of Barley, in waves of ebb and flow,toyed by the breeze,
whispered secret voice, from buffeted stalks, the air does tease,
and harvest time rejoice.


An English Wood, sentinel statues of complex wooden mould,
a sunlight dappled domain, of splendour for eyes to behold,
in memory to remain.


The sound of water, feeding through the land as brooks or streams,
silent until it falls, when Naiad chatter infuses magic into dreams
as ever on it crawls.


I never look, my blessing or curse is that I can only see,
that nothing is ever mundane,in a World of majesty,
everything is arcane.