Do you value the opinion of the person who sent you that private message?Of course not so ignore it.Where do you put rubbish?

I am the guilty one. I am the one that should be put in the trash. I admit I was the one who upset Stephi. I will stop posting now because apparently I make people here feel unsafe, which was not my intention.

I apologize, Stephi, Your use of a heart icon made me feel I could try to encourage you to be who you are. I must have used very bad judgement to hurt you so much. Be safe, I won't haunt you anymore.

Vicky

Thelma

FYI Steffi DID handle it, She handled it by contacting me immediately after she had made her post.
She did exactly the right thing.

Please dont post assumptions on what admin ("management") are or arent doing when you do not know the facts.

I have said many times we do our best to work OFF the boards. We try not to intervene ON them so as not to disrupt the forums

We do not violate member privacy here.

If a member chooses to report a PM for harassment or threats,or SPAM, then we intervene. Otherwise, what happens in private messages is just that, private. We do not and cannot read any private messages unless they are forwarded to us. Only DocJohn can enter the PM system and he does not do so out of total respect for member privacy

And
while we encourage members to settle their own disputes by PM and not on the boards, that does not permit for unsolicited PMs that harass, threaten, attack or SPAM.

I am working on this situation as are the rest of the team and we are doing it as privately as possible, totally with respect for all the members here, investigating the facts, and so we would appreciate not being second guessed about the very careful way we are handling a delicate and difficult situation, and where we may be aware of more facts than are evident just here on the boards.

I hope this whole matter can now return to being a private issue between members directly concerned, and, where they request it, us in admin.

thank you
Cheri

Do not over react I did not say put you in the trash.I said the opinion that was expressed belonged in the rubbish.The trouble with these sort of postings and e mails for that matter is that you can press the send button before you have had to think over what you have said.When you phone you can hear how what you have got to say goes down;with a letter you have to fold ,stick the stamp on and get to post box.I would not like to say how many times I have torn a letter up just before I have put it in posting box.Now I am going to have a nice cup of tea before I press Send. Hopefully, Steff will accept your apologise

sometimes we simply use poor judgement, sometimes in our PD Stupor, we say one thing and mean another. Soometimes cultural differences come into play.
The point I am trying to make is that this is an imperfect form of communication, and we all need to be circumspect in what we say, and how we react to it.
My reaction to be honest was "whats all the fuss about?"

NOTHING said here has the power to upset me though.

I think the world of you Steffi and you Vicky. My recommendation is to give each other a big cyber-hug and chalk this one up to the frailities of the English language!!

You are both great ladies!!

Steffi, I remember my grandmother telling me when I was a little tych, that "when all you had was mud, make mudpies!"....LOL. I never knew what she meant by that......til now!!

Hope your cleanup goes well!



Charlie

What a beautiful, encouraging post, Charlie.

Everyone,

Please remember that this thread is to support a member, but while supporting please take care not to flame, attack or overly-criticize another. When that happens, support is taken away from in the thread to one we want to show care to. Thank you so much.

Steffi,

I'm so, so, so sorry about everything going on in your life right now. If I can support you in any way, please let me know.

We're here for you.

KD

WEll what a fine mess this is.

Why the heck can't people contact each other and handle ilt themselves without contacting the police.

Whatever happened in this computer age that required outside help in all matters.

Two people have had a fallout or a differing of opinions and some hasty words were exressed.

I should have minded my own business and stayed out of it.

So that is it for me.























An I leaving the forum NO
Am I minding my own business MAYBE YES
Going to start liking moderation NO
Going to get kicked off the forum MAYBE YES maybe no














Going to change my ways.....................................hell NO

well it has been a full moon you know.....
shall we chalk it up to "full moon syndrome " ??

there are documented studies proving that more of certain incidents happen during full moon cycles...

LOL Thelma you exasperate me sometimes but I take your point.

Jo, my son has Tourette Syndrome and has an increase in his tics at full moon waxing......and particularly so at solstice full moon which we are in at present.
It isnt in any way an insulting thing re the moon and incidents...there is much research to back it and I personally feel that the fluids and chemistry etc of our systems is as affected by the cycles of nature as everything else alive on this ole planet

but

that is now way off topic

and so I just want to say this at this point so we can keep this open as a support thread for Steffi that maybe just focus on the support and not the reasons for needing it beyond that support, and her recent floods

I know steffi would not want to see this board disrupted anymore and so with that let me just say that I have tried to be as diplomatic here as possible and to also be as open as possible so that we did not have rumours and innuendos flying.

Thank you Vicky for voluntarily stepping up to put that speculation to rest

I am hoping you will return steffi and that we can now move forward to just doing what is done best here.

I am planning to self edit some of my own posts as I am hoping this entire incident can now remain a private issue between us on admin and those concerned directly. I feel some of my own comments are no longer appropriate here and that it is time for this thread and this whole forum to move forward.

Steffi........hoping the sun is shining in your part of England and that the cleanup is going well as expected and that you feel much better and have that beautiful smile back

Cheri

I would hate for this to turn into an atmosphere where everyone has to be nice to each other. Good manners are ok. Name calling is unproductive. However, differences of opinion, even strong ones, should be fine.

I am surprised at how easily administration steps in to curb or direct the conversation. Then when they are criticized, they get a little sensitive also! Can't we all just converse without worrying that we might be a little riled and express emotions? After all, the group is a forum as well as a reference tool. I don't want this to turn into a situation which reminds me of some of my elementary classrooms under stern direction. If somebody makes me angry, I will say so. If I make somebody angry, they should say so. We all should be able to handle it.

I used to enjoy the forum. It was a meal with the staples as well as condiments and even hot chili. I don't want it to turn into just plain rice.

Steffi and Vlhperry - Why would you ever quit on the basis of someone not liking what you said?

Ann