Mama, can they do Laparoscopic surgery? I hope so. That can be done as day surgery, and you can heal at home.

It sounds like it's imperative for you to find out what's wrong. If that is so, then it's best to trust your surgeon, and take it one step at a time. Try not to anticipate.

That's how I got through 3 hours of biopsies. I told my brother, "I really don't want to be there", but I had faith in the process. It's how I got through breast cancer surgery. As they were clamping something to my legs, and putting on a big face mask, I felt as if I were in the space shuttle, getting ready to take off, and I thought, "I don't think I want to be here", but I had faith in all the doctors in that room. The mood was jovial, and that relaxed me.

All the way through, I concentrated on how lucky I was to have such great medical care. I really felt very grateful.

If you think of how lucky you are to have people trying hard to figure you out and help you, it will be easier to be more accepting.

It's important to be a realist in these matters and not succumb to childlike fears. When you're up against the wall, face it. My mother taught me that.

Since you had a third opinion, and your surgeon must be very experienced, since you trust him, then let him do what he does best and help you help yourself.

~Zucchini

Zucchini,I am sorry that you have had so many challenges in your lifetime. And you still have your sweet, positive nature about you. I admire that.

I, on the other hand, when to counselling yesterday, took a whole zanax last night and still spent most of the night up and crying. It is stupid and childish, and I know that on one level, but I am too scared to really put things into the what others would call the proper perspective.

I did write out a paper of questions for the dr and anesthesiologist, but am afraid that there is also a section of things that I have to ask for...and I've never been good at asking for things. Things like no IVs after surgery, not being put to sleep without my husband being there (as you can see, sedatives do not work), and leaving the same day. I'm sure that any decent dr would get up and run if he saw me coming.

Anyway, thanks so much for your kindness and the thoughtfulness that you and others have expressed to me.

This is supposed to be laproscopic, so what's my problem?

mama