I am 30 and my Mum is 55. She was diagnosed with Parkinsons about 4 years ago. At the time I was living quite a way from my parents and I guess I didn't ever really deal with it, I don't remember ever crying or doing any research, or any of the things that you would expect, I just pushed it to the back of my mind and carried on as normal. Even when I came to visit and began to notice the signs of it in my Mum I just ignored it and carried on as normal.

Then about 6 months ago I was moved with work and now live about 20 miles away from my parents, of course after 10 years away they are really pleased to have me nearby and are always asking me to go over for Sunday dinner etc, all the usual things, and suddenly every time I go over I am confronted with how much she has deteriorated. The stupid thing is it has been over 6 months, but seems to have only hit me properly this weekend.

The thing is I don't even think it is that bad yet, it is affecting her left side, so she drags her foot when she walks and of course her hand shakes, and she looks so frail and somehow so old too, but she is still working full time and living a pretty normal life, but I am finding myself avoiding going over, and only staying for an hour when I do, and making excuse after excuse not to spend time with her, I love her so much but just can't seem to deal with seeing her.

I guess I should maybe talk to my Dad, I really don't want to upset him or my Mum, I just want to make things better so we can spend some time together, I am so aware that I wont be living so close for long (I am in the military so will probably be moved in a year or 2) and of course I am also aware that every day I leave it could be another day where she is able to talk to me and do things with me wasted.

I was hoping by posting this message that I could maybe get in touch with someone who understands what I am going through, who can maybe answer some of my questions. I have been such a crap daughter and I want it to stop today. I want to be there for my Mum.