[harley]

i am seeking a divorce and am finding out alot of information. i will keep you posted as i go through this. the first thing i have found out is that if you have been married for 10 years, you are entitled to receive ssdi off of your spouses income. this is an eye opener..

[ol'cs]

I'm in the same hole, but here how it goes for me, cuz, i'm like a guy, ya know. Not only is she seeking money from my ssdi, and my long term disability from my employer, and income in perpetuity from my pension, and did i mention half my 401k? Half my bank account too. And the new car i bought for her in cash out of my savings account . She also gets the house, because of course i'm like I tol ya, a guy, eh, and we all know that even healthy guys don't get the kids, they just get "visiting rights". Did i mention that she has a job, and i suspect someone waiting in the background who probably earns 100K a year. And in my state, new rules, i have to put my 3 kids through college! And if i'm tardy with alimony payments, the "deadbeat dads" law puts me where you say? In prison until i pay up, yes, i said in prison
She'll get the gold mine. I get the shaft
Basically, i'm getting'ed and i don't mean "a group hug" neither
Her reason for divorcing me? "I've got to protect our money in case you have to go into a nursing home, I mean what would happen to us if you fell down and banged your head? What a disaster that would be? I'd lose all your money, you know i still love you"
Makes sense to me, no? I imagine that i'm not the first person that this has happened to, or the last either.
I musta bin one baaadazz muthatruka in a previous life

[MKane]

Geez! I'm sooo glad my fiance dumped me when he found out I had PD. I can't imagine going through a divorce now.

[harley]

check out this link...
http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthre...91#post1753991

it ****** me off.. as a disabled person, you would think we had more rights. im not givin up.

[Jomar]

I don't know what state you are in , but I know someone in CA going thru this so looked up some info.

It might give sources or links to other states on some of the links.

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/california/cafaq07
http://www.divorcesource.com/CA/ARTICLES/borg1.html
http://californiadivorce.info/legal....rtoverview.htm

[gaykir]

All I can do is pray and I will!

[vlhperry]

Dear Laura,

So sorry your marriage is on the rocks. You seemed so happy a few years ago. I wish I had known I could have had my disability payments based on my ex's pay. I collect less than $600.00 per month and my ex husband, to whom I was married 11 years, makes in the 3 figure income bracket. They based mine on my income which was mostly clerical work. Educated too late I guess.

Vicky

PS I too will pray for you.

[ol'cs]

I'm actually OK with this because i'm less and less a functioning human being, and her logic actually is a sound one. At this stage , all that matters is the next generation, I've done my job well, and it's time to go. Why have all the things that i've accumulated in life go to a nursing home? Isn't it better to give while the givin's good, and see my wife and kids live without the wolf at the door because they have to pay for me in a nursing home? My wifee is actually a pretty smart cookie for doing this (she got me to serve papers so it looks like i'm the bad guy). Just like PD, divorce is different for each one of us that goes through it. In my case it's not as bad as it sounds. I'll still have too much money to waste (money is the root of all evil, it's true), unlike some people who have to live on $600 a month and can barely feed themselves. I've got a big family , so i can spread it around more. Now why would anybody with a big family not be able to find someone to be a care partner? Well, i could i guess, but why make life difficult for somebody else? You know , in all these years that i've been on this board, i've never heard anybody say the God's honest truth; us Parkies aren't exactly easy to care for, especially if we get an attitude. I ain't no angel, and I yell like a bullmoose sometimes when i'm feeling really bad; why put anybody through that; it's just selfish. I think that i need to be alone, do the best that i can, see my family when i can, and look forward to the day that the Lord calls me home. Now what could be better than that. A life well lived, just a bit short, that's all. But some people don't even get that so i got nothing to whine about.cs

[MKane]

I'm with you on this one cs. I like being alone. I am independent and if I feel really bad, I don't have to explain it to anyone. There is no feeling of putting on a mask. I stay in the house, except to feed and care for my horses. The horses and dogs don't care if I shake or drool. I'm not an embarassment to anyone. The solitary life is a good one! Furthermore, the demands of companions is often stressful and we all know what stress does to PD.

[lou_lou]

get a lawyer that is informed about PD, do not count on legal aid,
do not make any decision without a lawyer -if you can find an ethical lawyer,
hire them -ASAP...
do not sign anything that your former spouse tells you to sign - because they do not care about you now -
they may have a "replacement" for you already -
In my divorce - my ex - took what he could - lied -was combative -putting it technically, as I must right now
-this is a broadcast station for your ex-spouses attorney...
so now is the time for questions -only...
divorce laws differ state to state, my state has old laws for women -dating
back to -"the men own the wives"
you may have children of divorce classes -if so you must attend them, or
they can put you in jail for contempt,
also -
harley - do not leave your home, he can leave -he is not disabled or on medication,
secondly -if you leave -the "EX" can actually lie and tell any story they want
so they can keep you off "your own premices"
if you break the ex-parte -they can and will arrest you...
there is no morals now -this is a fight for money and stuff game...
there are no winners -
money and stuff are needful, yet try to be as peaceful as possible...
settling out of court would be a blessing...
and yes harley, in some states if your husband refuses to support you
you will be on state aid, [ medicaid] ebt aka food stamps- a small copay
like 2 dollars per script, but this alternative sounds like you are in a bad way already...
do not speak online - at all -
except for questions...
bottom line
life goes on... and you will be fine perhaps you are divorcing the disease? it is a blessing in disguise truly...
and when you married vows were exchanged and more than likely they said - for richer or poorer
through sickness and health, till death parts you both...
that was the contract: and yes, we maybe ill -but love is not suppose to be conditional...
we live a in throw away world, and that ideology hurts people as well...