What makes you think that I need "Intense counceling" as you put it. You know nothing about me yet you decided that because the agonist was to low to have any effect on me.

These thoughts that I had only started when I started the PD drugs. I informed my Urologist about it 6 months back and he just laughed it off. Just to let you know, my GP had informed me that I was highly sensitive to any drugs and that I was to be careful taking any.

I'm only telling you all this because you decided to judge me and condem me at the same time.

By the way, you're not the only one to have been the victim of incest, When I was 11 I was sexually abused by my own father.

Have a great day
C

From reading on many of the forums over the last few years I have noticed that meds can and do affect everyone differently.

All meds , all conditions - some work, some don't work and some people are highly sensitive to many meds.

didnt mean to upset the all ready toppled applecart there claude. just bein blunt. i have done many many things i feel badly about throughout the years before and after pd was in my life. i had to pick up my apples, put them back in the cart and learn from it. you did something that wasnt so cool.. guess what? you're human. that fact doesnt excuse it, but it does explain it. you feel badly and apologized. this shows that you feel. and counceling is a good method of dealing with those feelings.

not everything is tied to meds. sometimes, meds are too easy to blame things on. i have not judged you. it is not my place to do that. and condemning another parkie is just not a wise thing to do. we all make mistakes. i put in my 2 cents to help you understand her side of it. im sure you may know a little of it yourself since you unfortunately had to live with a similiar trauma from your father.. which i am truly sorry happened to you. counceling would help you deal with that issue as well.

parkinsons encompasses alot of emotional areas. and it is also possible that you did what you did due to the grief we go through when diagnosed. only you know inwardly what happened, that is why i stated to look in the mirror. i forgave my brother because he did. it took a long time, but i did. i am just another parkie here. .. chill...

and sometimes meds ARE the reason. and parkinson's affects the pleasure centers of the brain, dopamine which controls that center, as well as many other brain areas and neurotransmitters. The effects from agonists for one person may depend upon which specific area of the brain is involved in that person's disease process; many people do not respond to agonists, though do to L-dopa. Guess that's their fault.....

Just because some of you don't believe that the meds had anything to do with it, doesn't mean that they didn't. I'm the only one that can say if they did or not. Do you think I'd be on here putting my life out there for everyone to see if I wasn't sure of what happened. The meds had everything to do with it, weather it's the PD meds or the heart meds that I'm on or a combination of.

I came on here trying to find out if it has happened to anyone else. I feel that Doctors may know a lot but they don't know everything. I've found over the years it's better to go to the horses mouth if you want to find out anything, that's why I'm here. I've done a lot of research of heart and drugs when I first had heart problems and I've been able to eliminate certain drugs from the cocktail that they had prescribed for me. Even my heart specialist agreed with me after going over the research that I done.

So you see, just like my heart research I'm doing research on the effects of drugs on the brain. I have never entertained any such thoughts like I have had since I started the PD drugs and when I brought it up to my Euro, all he could talk about is weather I had any tendencies to gamble. I'm under the impression that he's never heard of people in my situation and therefore just shrouded it off. DOES NOT MEAN IT CAN'T HAPPENED! I'm seeing him again soon and I'm going to impress on him the importance of my situation and see what he says.

If you guys are interested, I could come back and share the docs response with you, maybe you could learn something new or maybe not.

I just know I will never stop searching for an answer, just like I did for the research of my heart meds.

Claude, I'm chilling

to me Mirapex & Sinemet equal - an insane asylum in your brain, I was given the meds by a top neurologists at Kansas University Hospital,
just know this: what I did was equally as crazy but not the same,
as mine was slot machine mania...
the sex mania was not my symptom -yet men and women have different
drives - and with the reward system feeding for pleasure,
the bell reward - pavlovian reward was enough for me -
and the worst part was I did not actually know why I was so crazy?
I live in the USA so the psychiatrist I go to doesnt prescribe mirapex, the old name sinemet/ now generic...
The addictions are horribly devastating what ever they may be -
I see no shame in seeing any doctor for help / if they do not help you.
find a way to replace the insane behavior...
I would rather this have *not happened - yet I can not change the past,
yet I can learn from this - and help my future...and others futures by warning them...

claude, maybe that is the key as to why the med effected you the way it did.

i know this was hard for you to post about. you had to know there would be people on the other side ( as you are yourself also) who would reply as they have. it's a very sensitive subject. hurt on both sides.

i do hope you and your neice go to some type of counseling. you are both victims.

Its been my experience that when some one reacts strongly to a responding post, the responding post has struck a chord somewhere inside....wether we recognize it or not. If you had not reacted to Harley's post so intensley I don't think I would have given it a second thought. Later when you disclosed the unspeakable (and it is an unspeakable act, especially by a parent) you let us in just a little closer to understanding why you are condeming yourself so harshly for your indiscression. We are not your judges, and even if we were, you have us all beat hands down in the harshness with which you have judged yourself. Some of the things that happen to us in this life are hidden away as years go by and just like a spike thats been driven into a tree the growth of the later years completely hides any sign of the spike, and noone knows it is even there...except it is, and it makes a weakness in that beautiful big tree. And eventually it plays a part in the destruction of the tree. Forgiveness is a deeply spiritual act. Is it possible that you cannot believe she would forgive you because you have never forgiven the one who victimized a young boy? As I said...just something to ponder.... we are your friends and we do care. R

Claude..The counseling probably isnt a bad idea..I am not judging you..I am thinking here, number one..You were abused by your father..Maybe you've sought help for that, I dont know..Number two, I think maybe it would benefit you by seeking council to deal with the guilt and sadness you are feeling, cuz, you must be experiencing worsening pd symptoms as a result of all this worry and stress..Just saying..Stress is like kryptonite to pd

Claude, this is coming from a therapist of 25 years: you need to talk to your niece's parent(s) and tell them what happened, and tell them that you would like to see a competent family therapist, with her and with them, who specializes in sexual abuse issues, in order to make amends and restore yur relationship with this niece. How old is she, first of all? First she will need to hear that was happened was wrong and absolutely not her fault. She will need validation and comfort from her parents, and from a therapist, who will help you and her to carefully bring you both back to the days before this happened, and re-tie the bonds that seemed to have existed before.
Your anguish tells us all alot about you-you must be a good person to feel so much remorse--and the medication must be the origin of this--but it still happened and is real for your niece..
Explain to adults in her life that Parkinson's med's can disinhibit some people, but first discuss ths event ASAP with your PD doctor, who must also speak to your niece's parent(s) about this. I suspect this was caused by an agonist.
If you say to her that it "wasn't really you," then you will not be able to heal what has happened with your niece, as you will make her feel confused, invalidated in her hurt and anger, and not able to really hear your apology, or ever take it seriously. You have to acknowledge that it was "you," but a you who was under the influence of medication that is supposed to help your disease, but sometimes makes it hard to listen to the inner police officer inside of you that normally helps you put on the brakes and stop you from doing or saying the wrong thing.
This will be really hard to do, Claude, but has to happen immediately, with your doctor as ally, to verify this, so your niece does not suffer any further from the betrayal she must be suffering of the trust she used to feel in you, around safety and boundaries.
I strongly recommend immediate action for your niece's sake,and for the sake of ever salvaging what used to be good in your and her relationship. Good luck, Leonore