PNers may be interested in googling or binging "Prolonged Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Syndrome". I am currently enjoying this. It occurs with low dose, long term benzos of any class. It is also found with Ambien or the Z drugs highly marketed as not addictive. It is also found with SSRIs and Gabapentin.

There is NO benzo dose too low for this to happen.

It happens when the neuron, is structurally changed. It is a long term or permanent change.

My theory is, my neurons are so unrecognizable that my body views them as foreign, hence autoimmune disease, a thru the roof ANA and no identifiable antibody. Why? It is highly personalized, to attack my GABA receptors, which are essentially foreign now.

I am married to a PO Supervisor. I understand the stress. He came up thru the ranks. I could not do his job, nor take the abuse. I would not be surprised if your job is not exacerbating your disease. I am begging my husband to retire. He is concerned about insurance. My greatest fear is he will die on that job.....

Anyway, as I sit here 'enjoying' myself in my protracted withdrawal, I am thinking if not for my husband I would be under a bridge. Would I be a junkie then? Is social status, or drug of choice what makes a junkie?

A junkie is in the Urgent Care clinic at Friday at 4pm, with some obscure disease that only a certain controlled substance works for and thinking about how good it will feel to get high later that night.

I have to quit all drugs, as my autonomic nervous system is shot. I am not brave, I am scared, scared enough to endure this for a week now, after just enduring a fentanyl wean and a month of hell. Benzos are worse. I have been thru this before and since figuring out that I have prolonged withdrawal and have for decades, due to usage of a benzo in the 90's, so I could use Prozac, for pain??? Opiates are for pain. What the hell is wrong with that picture?

I can tell you what is wrong....my own stupidity. Like once was not enough!

Bob is 100% correct. Physical dependence or Adaptation is not Addiction, but the withdrawal is the same damn thing. I am sick of migraines and puking, a sore head and neck, prickling all over, knowing every stop my Vagus nerve makes. The blood pressure rushes are great too, pounding in my ears....and more puking. I can't lose any more weight. Lost 10 pounds in as many days. I have not slept in a week and won't for months if ever. I wish I was back at the beginning of my PN, and had it to do over. Not a med would get into my mouth.

As far as my autoimmune situation goes, I will be curious to see what my ANA is after all this clears out, and hopefully some receptors heal.

IMO, many of us have chemical injury, and this fact is overlooked by doctors who continue to add to the toxic brew. Then again, many people don't take 'No' for an answer. If I had been told of Prolonged Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Syndrome, would that have stopped me from wanting something to make me sleep? Likely not, since this is my second time withdrawing off benzos due to autonomic meltdown. It is my last time, knowing that I found the answer to why I feel so lousy. I am chemically damaged. I have been permanently poisoned. It is no different than a chemical burn.....there is a scar on the nervous system.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

My sister lost a leg to cancer at 3. My son lost an eye to cancer at 1. My Mother received shock treatments to endure her pain of her daughter's leg lose. My father got lost in a world of valium and an occasional rum and coke. He retired at 52 and never understand his panic attacks for what they were. I found out at 45 what they were. With a family plagued with mental illness, I attacked my anxiety/depression and have been relatively functioning on my crazy drug of choice....Lexipro. Unfortunately....the job of a probation officer is one that provides an incredible about of stress. I compare it to a person wearing a suit of armor. Each day this armor takes a chink. Each day the chinks build up. At first...not noticeable. Over the years.....the weakness of the armor shows. Mine began with my meltdown on the job at 45. I ended up in a anxiety disorder group for several weeks. Today, I consul my offenders on the need to address the brain as another organ of the body. My brain...it struggles today. You guys know my story now. I am trying so hard to keep a happy face. The lack of rhyme or reason to this foot crap is so difficult for a person of logic and reason. I'd give anything for a good old fashion heart attack. Cut me up...put me back together..stick me on the diet...and move on. Pills...pills....diet? Bad back? Good one minute...horrible the next? Aaaarrrrgh. Bob you are an inspiration. The knowledge here is wonderful as are you all.

I think a lot of us have had unspeakable trauma.

Perhaps it is that vulnerability that leads to disease.

You all don't mind my ramblings. It is cathartic to get it out occasionally. And Cyclelops I know my story is just one of many. I'm sure that there is much much worse, and I do sympathize.

Just remember, Jack
STRESS is as big a factor as any..... for PN pain & those damn flares.
The more you stress-out and have anxiety, the worse you are going to feel.
Acceptance of the condition, and informed research into the most up-to-date treatments and meds being used by the known 'big-boys' in the field - is the way to think.
Don't go 'chasing windmills' - that causes more stress.