Hello,
If all the world leaders and doctors suffered from this crap, there would be and end to war and more money and genius in solving many of the existing medical conditions that plague this planet.

some tricks to look sick when you indeed are feeling terrible:

Don't dress up for the doctor. Don't put make up on if you are female. Making yourself look wonderful undercuts your believability. If you have to work, just cover the bases, nothing fancy.

Limp some now and then. I find a groan, huff or puff placed properly and not overused, very effective, especially in stores.
Move slowly, and carefully...to avoid trips and falls.

Have more bad hair days than usual. Cover hair with hats, caps, scarves.

If you look in pain, people often believe it...and you don't have to remind them. A well placed groan, in a store is very effective for me!

Yeah, I've wished that too. Maybe not the people closest to me because they've mostly been pretty good. And with them, I try to remember to mention it if I'm having a relatively good day in addition to saying when it's really bad. My partner has polymyalgia and I appreciate it when she tells me she's feeling a little better.

But doctors--%&*$ yes! And I would never tell any of them I felt better unless they were on the verge of curing me.

I'm with you, MrsD.
I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone else.
But I'm a pretty convincing actor when need arises.
Look in the mirror and create a face that says what you want to say non-verbally.
Practice it in the bathroom mirror, over and over,
until you can put 'the face' on-anytime you wish.
Then go out and use it, along with a sigh, or a slight moan or groan-don't overdo it,
less is more.
Example:
I was trying to rush thru the arport in NY, to make a connecting flight from NY to home. My prevoius flight had been 1-1/2 hours late and I had expected a 2 hr layover to make the connecting flight. That left us with less than 1/2 hour from the time we de-planed until we boarded.

The terminal was about 1 mile away , on the complete other side of the airport and no moving walkways or escalators were working and a baggage push-cart was not in sight.
Rushing thru the terminal was taking its toll on me and I just
decided to stop.

I was carrying a heavy carry-on bag and had a 35 lb backpack on my back - I sat on a stair & just told everyone else to go on ahead, and tell them at the boarding gate, I was bringing up the rear.

At that point my son, who is 6'3", built like a linebacker, and 23 years old, (& is clueless some times,) offered to carry my bag .
Not until I complained did he realize that maybe Dad needed some help this time.

I probably coulda made it, but it was bad enough when I got to the boarding gate, told them to wait just 2 minutes while I ducked into the men's room to pee-and they yelled at me that I couldn't -
"do it on the plane, we're ready to take off."
We then had to carry bags across the tarmac and board by climbing up the steps, to the commuter flight.
By the time I got into my seat, I was 'done-in'.
I really needed that help carrying my bags, and if I hadn't just stopped abruptly, & sat down- no one woulda realized it.

I guess I fall in the I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy category. I'm afraid if I did, I may burn in hell.

I have my days tho. I must look worse or something, because in general, people have been over-attentive. That has its downside too. I bearly even open a car door for myself lately, and I always have some one hovering over me when I walk on the snow and ice.....like, that helps, we would both go down!

My docs have been really good lately too....so, I can't complain, but, I know before things got this bad, at times, I did wish this on others.

MrsD has a point, in not looking too good for the docs, and I tend to do that. When they start poking and proding lately, I let them know what hurts, not buck up, like I used to. I have learned to tell them my symptoms, not my theory of what I have.

I think the point is, that SOME people can be really unempathetic and cold. I think that some people are just like that. Some people are just naturally more narcisstic. It is hard, but, try not to take it personally. I know it is hard. Also, make your doc appointments as early in the day as possible. You get worse care in the afternoon. Docs and nurses are people and they get tired as the day wears on. They are pressured to jam ever growing numbers of patients into less time.

I look at it this way, we are all born with certain strengths and weakness, and some people are born with more empathy, others, not so much. Just like physical strength, some have it, some don't. I won't ever be an astrophysicist either, but, some of them, may not have been good nurses, teachers or social workers. All people have different characteristics.

Also, you can't convince those people otherwise, so don't waste your breath.

You can't convince any one of anything, save your energy for where it does the most good. You will know where that is.

I told my hubbie to remain healthy because he might have to push my wheelchair someday, he promptly got rheumatoid!
My primary doc told my mom I am in unbelieveable pain everyday on her last visit, my mom no longer questions that I look okay so what do I have?
As a last resort buy the book "But you look okay", if the person is worth the money.
If I leave the house without makeup, well I am pretty sure that would convince anyone...............its a habit, but I'll keep it in mind!

Those who aren't receptive will have their turn...trust me! I do believe that what goes around will get back to those who bite you! Some I've known who were cruel? I'd had back issues? THEY Got back issues, severe ones...when they'd laughed at my own problems. Same with family deaths and other issues, they got it back on their own with INTEREST! Honestly, now, I don't care about others outside my immediate circles as they just don't care and are not willing to learn to care!
For the medical community tho? We really aren't able to complain constructively to any 'medical association' or the like about insensitivity, lax diagnostic ability nor actually doing harm! Nor can we construtively complement med professionals who DO CARE and DO work for us! This part is truly criminal in my book! There have been times I'd like to go to the first neuro's office and start swinging something heftier than my cane all thru the offices! In essence we are as patients powerless about critising the medical professionals who treat us, and it's worse if you are in a smaller metro area or regional area to boot! Less to choose from, less to seek help from and further to go!
As for 'putting on the face'? I don't have to any more! I've aged over 20 years in less than 10! I do not LIKE IT! And as for going out? I do try and put on make-up? But I really don't care if it's perfect! Because I AM NOT!
I DO WISH Docs could FEEL what we feel for one day, better FIVE DAYS! That'd be the 'appetizer'? You all know what I mean by that! HUGS to all! -j

I despise the "competition" of "I must feel worse than you do because I have (fill it in)."

Why do they do that, for attention? For crying out loud, I don't even want to mention my illness let alone be challenged about it.

I really needed that help carrying my bags, and if I hadn't just stopped abruptly, & sat down- no one woulda realized it.[/QUOTE]

HI, thanks for sharing the reality of invisible disabilities, especially neuropathy pain. My PD friend usually exclaims that I should wear a sign saying "NOT as good as I look". We laugh, because her tremors are worse, so people eventually do pick up on this. I go for the no pride method, asking for a wheelchair in advance of any trip, or bring my cane. Works wonders in the drug store.

I agree with Mrs D. the need to dress depressingly to allow the doctors to at least see a picture of something not quite normal, is a good strategy. Folks just do not take our words at face value. Whether friends or medical professionals. It is always a surprise to me how heartless and self-absorbed the general population can be. I have had to develop a sort of walk the talk attitude in public, and the opposite in private with friends. Friends have a tougher time handling my health challenges than I do. Their fears are greater than mine. I wish you luck in getting some kind of system to portray the right level of dysfunction in the right situation. But first and foremost, avoid identifying with this part. It is supposed to be the theater of life playing itself out, rather than a person who forgets she is in the theater of life. I choose to believe I am completely well underneath my issues. It helps to pretend this is true, when I am alone, at least most of the time. Best Wishes - TT

As I work day in and day out, smile at all my coworkers, get over animated with the little kiddies at our school ... I am dying on the inside from all of the pain. Every movement makes me ache, my body burning from head to toe, yet there is no one there that would ever know anything is going on. I can't blame people for not knowing, since I keep putting on a pretty good act, but part of me doesn't want the entire world pitying me every time they see me! The other part of me just wishes that these people could somehow understand what I'm going through, although I would never wish this illness on my worst enemy!

Right now I'm trying to work out flying out to Minnesota for Mayo Clinic's pain rehab program. I'm really wondering what all my coworkers will think when a seemingly normal looking/feeling individual (at least in their eyes) leaves work for 3 weeks for medical reasons.

It's nice to know that there are wonderful people like all of you who could relate and really know how a person with this illness feels. I'm just so sorry that you have to experience this.