[QUOTE=cyclelops;657258]Hope-I still dress up in my running or cycling gear and pretend....I KNOW what you mean. I had always figured I would run a half marathon or something with my girls as I got older.

*** In summer I always wish I could put on my umpire's gear and call one last game... baseball, softball (in winter I loved to officiate basketball -- I got to the level where I called local college women's games)



Yes, you DO have to mourn. You DO have to move onto things you can handle without major discomfort...

*** I'm forever grateful to my wife for taking me to aqua-aerobics; now I'm an qua-aerobics "BEAST"... plus I can become the smart-*** class clown.


CB

[QUOTE=rscowboy2005;657306]That gives me hope. As soon as I am feeling better I need to start something new. My kids and husband brought me an eliptical for my birthday. (I asked for it) but I tried it twice and because I could only do 5 mins I haven't been on again. I have had a lot of pain lately but I am going to try again when it eases up. Thanks!

That's what I meant about recognizing yourself as 'different' now. There are limits on what you can do or not? But the brain still works...put it to WORK! Simply DO things, or some them differently.
If needed, learn about 'advocacy' on any level you want. Also learning here is important about what we have and what we do about it and how we cope..helps US deal with doctors of all sorts! We must deal with them, so should try and play their game on their playing field-only knowledge can help us there. We must come to terms with the pain, then do the very best we can to either ease it or deal with it! Those are the better options than being miserable and self-asorbed in the misery of if all. And this is a miserable and self-asorbing type of pain!
Doing things that take your mind off of the pain is helpful, as is trying to improve daily, no matter how slowly it goes. Then? Try doing something to help others in your area, those who need help more than you do? There must be lots of ways to help? Just look at your local United Way and see all the orgs that rely on volunteers. Even county governments [or city ones] often seek voluteers for a whole slew of things....things we CAN DO!
Just because we can't DO some things? Doesn't mean we can't do other useful and productive things...maybe just on terms we can deal with better tho. !'s - j

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Although I studied this over 30 years ago, it still applies. I guess I am at the depression stage right now. Not quite accepting yet.

Lots on your plate, some of it hard to chew and digest?
Give it time and give yourself some charity to allow yourself the time!
BIG ! - j

Hi,
Your right it does sux. One thing I think I need to do is cut myself some slack. I got up in horrible pain today probably the worse yet. Felt like it was in my muscles and bones. I was up a lot last night with hip and leg pain.
However, I started my own little farm today. I've only planted tomatoes in the past.

Today we planted tomatoes, sweet potatoes, sweet peppers, cucumbers, strawberries, cantaloupes, squash, zucchini and we are even trying corn.
I am excited. I hope everything makes it. Did you name the chicken yet?
Hopeful

I think I am bouncing back and forth. I think this site has begun to help me come out of denial. I think dalhek is right we need to give ourselves a break. Everyone goes through these stages differently. We just all need to be careful we don't get caught up in the depression stage.
My mom tells me that I do deserve to have a pity party every now and then but she doesn't let me stay there more than one day.
My prayer for all of us is that we get to the acceptance stage.

Hi I can relate to many of the feelings here and I am sorry everyone has to face them. For myself I feel the past 3 years I have went through many changes in how I face this condition and the people/things that impact me. It is like a learning process in what works and does not. I have for sure and continue to go through the stages of emotions. A big thing I work on daily is to stay in the day of what I can do to get through it in the healthiest way. As for family and friends at many times I feel unheard and alone. I try to focus on the people who do understand in the ways they can. I have some family members like my gramps for example who blames me for my pain that I have had to separate from. I don't have the mental strength to constantly fight with people or explain why I can't do something. It takes all my mental energy to fight through the pain. I see where when I get upset with people or life issues that I don't tolerate my pain as well. Being calm is very important. I know for myself I will never be able to do what I did in terms of being active and I have learned to accept that and hope to find new things in the future I can do. The more I focus on the can't the more I feel down and the harder it is to fight. My pain doctor said something to me I found so helpful that on the bad pain days you do the best you can and on the better pain days you do the most you can. That one has to find a new way of living and doing things in the condition we face.
Hopeful and anyone else with trying to increase activity. When I first came to this board I was in bed full days from pain. When my doc said you must move or you will atrophy it was torture getting on my feet again. Anyhow I did start with increasing by 5 min at a time or even 2 min each week. So hopeful though at this time you can only do 5 min setting small goals for each week or each month I think gives the body time to adjust and also makes one feel proactive. Wishing everyone a better day

Thanks for your encouragement!
Hopeful

Directed? By learning what you are mourning and venting about! Of Course!
We all suffer PAIN! There is no question about that, and, doctors don't even have good, consistent definitions of what pain IS or the degrees of pain we have! That said? Venting/Mourning here is safe [as long as doc doesn't know your e-mail or 'name' on line?] And it is with folks who understand what it is to have IT, have IT constantly, and have IT NOT go away. Ok, well, there are 'times' when it's less SO than others, but for the most part? Unless you work to take your mind off of it? IT IS THERE AND ALWAYS THERE! It feels like we are in a leaky boat? But we are together sort of in a leaky boat!
Beyond the mourning phases tho is an BIGGIE? That is: WHAT NEXT? Up to you and only you!
Face it, we are NOT fun folks to be around when we're hurtin'! Folks now ask me 'How am I doing?'-I just reply... OK, all things considered! and leave it at that! Too many people can't relate to the pain unless or until THEY get it-then, you will be the first person they call! Learn to talk short, concise and sweet with the facts and realities. Start practicing on your docs? New docs always need 'orientation'. Best to perfect descriptions BEFORE you need to go to the ER? Those guys have REALLY SHORT ATTENTION SPANS! Pack as much info into 45 SECONDS [yep, seconds] as you can! It could save your life!
For an exit? Web up Mary Chapin Carpenter's two songs: I feel Lucky & The Bug! Hopefully we are beneficiaries of lucky things and not splats!
Of course, the beyond allotted quota of hugs all around! We are GOOD as a collective mind? Aren't we? But we are the sum of our parts! - j