I HATE this disease! I am in the process of getting disability. I can't work, I can't apply for a place to live. I have no family in the area. Everyone says it takes up to TWO YEARS to get disability. I've only been waiting 10 months. I'm out of money, out of resources, and out of a place to live, and a car!

My only option is to move across the country to live with relatives until it is approved!

In the mean time, my granddaughter, which I have helped raise since the day she was born is crying every day, knowing I am leaving. She won't let go of me when I take her to school. She wants me to stay with her at cheerleading practice, and she even wants to sleep with me at night.

She has (up to this point) been a very well adjusted happy kid! Now that her Grandma, who has been her "other parent" has to leave, she is becoming a cry baby and won't let me out of her sight!

Of course, my heart is being ripped out too! How can I leave this baby, and live across the country? I am currently living on an air mattress in my ex-husbands living room. My daughter and granddaughter moved in with him when we lost our apartment, after I lost my last job. He let me "rent" the living room from him.

I thought I could go stay with my brother for a few months at a time, then come back here for a month, like three months there and one month here. I didn't know it would be so hard on my granddaughter!!!!!

I hate the system for taking so long! I hate this disease for taking my ability to work and provide for my family! I hate the San Francisco Bay area for being so freakin' expensive that I can't afford to live here!!!!!