[FiestLady24]

I am new to this site. Besides the burning in my feet I have horrible weakness in my legs. The weakness strips me of my confidence. I use to be quite motivated and now I feel like my days are revolved around my pain. I also feel like I need to shake my legs all the time which drives me insane!! I am a first generation Italian woman. 43 years old. I love following my traditions and it has become hard because the pain takes your dignity too. Right now my Doctor has me on 2 Ultram a day and 1 Norco (weakest dose) at night. My Doctor is very conservative. I am in pain all day. Do I need to see a different Doctor, Who understands this disease? And when your health ins. is limited, where else can you go? Also how do I tell my Doctor exactly how much pain I am in to get my point across?? I am just coming to terms that I have to deal with this for the rest of my life. I just want to feel some comfort, not be in pain everyday, sleep at night and go on about my day and do the stuff I enjoy doing. This is the first time I am talking about this. Let me be totally honest and say that when I see a women my age who have it put together and have a healthy body I get very gelous and ****** off.......WHY ME???????

[chaos]

I'm near your age, I'm 39. I have to really push myself to get anything done. I just blew up this morning because the dishes can't seem to get done by other people in my house! I just can't get anything done like I could before, and then I get mad that other people in my house can't do what my brain is thinking. I put all my energy into my work day and come home exhausted.

What have you been dx'd with? You're not taking any anti-seizure drug? Most of us on here are. It REALLY helps the pain. I'm on my second type (oxcarbazepine) because Gabapentin made me too stupid, but most people are on the Gaba. I just made an appt to go see the pain doc to deal with breakthrough pain. I normally smoke pot when I have to deal with that, but I need something for work or when I don't have my MMJ (I'm in CA where I have a prescrip for it). My current dx is idiopathic small fiber neuropathy.

When I go to the doc I bring a letter detailing all my issues and symptoms. It's so much easier than explaining it all. I'd get emotional or forgetful in the appt if I didn't do that. The docs really appreciate it. If you don't have insurance, ask about getting a cash discount. I had a GP offer me $40 cash appts in the past when I didn't have insurance. We also have a clinic in town that one can get discounted appts, but it's funded super well, not everybody has this option.

MrsD will tell you to take B12 after you find out your levels. This has helped me a ton and has taken away a lot of pain. It took about a month for me to feel it.

[chaos]

Also, I'm on antidepressants. Pain causes depression. You have to work on the pain before you can work on your head.

I try to keep stuff in the freezer for quick and easy meals, so go to Trader Joes and get stuff there, they have decent quick meals that the kids will like too. When you can do something like cook, make a lot of it and have leftovers.

How old are the kids? Do you have a partner to help? Do you have family around? Can you hire somebody to help around the house? (and don't feel bad if you say no, I can't afford that either, have no family around, and a lazy partner).

[FiestLady24]

Thank you for responding. THey say its PN. I am on State Ins. Here in Il. its called Public Aid and not one specialist will take it. Everyone tells me my pain is not being controlled and I need a pain management Doctor. I have not worked in 10 months. THe pain got bad and I left my job. The pain takes my breath away sometimes. I have a fiance, 13 year old boy and 7 year old stepdaughter. I Have always been a great homemaker, I cook all my meals from scratch ( Its an Italian thing) my kids dont do chores, I do everything. Ive always prided myself that I could do all these things well. I feel LAZY if I have to ask for help. Do you think I need a different Doctor that has more compassion?

[chaos]

Your 13 yo should be doing a lot of stuff by now, and should be able to even cook simple meals (and it's the best way to teach him to take care of himself later on). The 7 yo can do things like take out the trash and unload the dishes. Getting them to do it is a different matter! I fight with my 10 yo all the time trying to get her to do stuff.

It's hard to ask for help, but you have to do it. I get that you make all your meals by scratch, I usually do to (I even garden and can food), but it's so hard to do things like hold a knife sometimes that I just can't sometimes. Just getting somebody to cut things up for me really helps. Getting somebody to take things out of the fridge and put them back even helps. I have to ask people to open jars and bottles now. I have to ask somebody to carry the heavy laundry basket back to the machine. I have to take much longer to get anything done, and I have to plan for it.

You just need a GOOD doctor. If I wasn't on my anti-seizure med, I wouldn't be able to work either. I work full time and my husband is a (lazy) SAHD. We'd be really messed up without my paycheck. I really worry about the future and how bad I'll get, and thankfully I've gotten better a little due to the right meds and supplements. Currently I'm just trying to deal with the breakthrough pain as the actual PN is getting worse. It started in my feet and is now in my hands and random other spots.

I know you've heard this before, but the best way to be a good mom is to take care of yourself first. You need to be on the right treatment plan. A pain management doc can prescribe the right meds for you, both pain relief and anti-seizure.

[FiestLady24]

Thank you very much Chaos. THis was very helpful for me. THis is the first time Im talking about this and it feels so good to get it out. What does an anti-seiz med do for you? And what is the breakthrough pain? My Doc has not spoke of any of this. We just know that I can not take Norotin or Lyrica. My belly looks 9 months pregnant on it. Its very uncomfortable ontop of being in pain. I just want to get better. Im scared. But I will follow your suggestions. THank you very much.

[Aussie99]

Originally Posted by chaos

Your 13 yo should be doing a lot of stuff by now, and should be able to even cook simple meals (and it's the best way to teach him to take care of himself later on). The 7 yo can do things like take out the trash and unload the dishes. Getting them to do it is a different matter! I fight with my 10 yo all the time trying to get her to do stuff.

It's hard to ask for help, but you have to do it. I get that you make all your meals by scratch, I usually do to (I even garden and can food), but it's so hard to do things like hold a knife sometimes that I just can't sometimes. Just getting somebody to cut things up for me really helps. Getting somebody to take things out of the fridge and put them back even helps. I have to ask people to open jars and bottles now. I have to ask somebody to carry the heavy laundry basket back to the machine. I have to take much longer to get anything done, and I have to plan for it.

You just need a GOOD doctor. If I wasn't on my anti-seizure med, I wouldn't be able to work either. I work full time and my husband is a (lazy) SAHD. We'd be really messed up without my paycheck. I really worry about the future and how bad I'll get, and thankfully I've gotten better a little due to the right meds and supplements. Currently I'm just trying to deal with the breakthrough pain as the actual PN is getting worse. It started in my feet and is now in my hands and random other spots.

I know you've heard this before, but the best way to be a good mom is to take care of yourself first. You need to be on the right treatment plan. A pain management doc can prescribe the right meds for you, both pain relief and anti-seizure.

I totally agree. Teaching kids a certain level of independence is very important. I lived with my grandma and until I was 20 odd yrs old had never done chores or cooked. It did NOT serve me well. I literally couldn't even sew a button or boil water. NOT GOOD!!

[ginnie]

Welcome to Neuro Talk. You will find compassion here. Lots of us have this horrible pain. We exchange ideas that may help I have PN or RSD in left foot and ankle. I go see a physiatrist. This is a pain specialist first, and then she treats on a cellular level. I have medicare-medicaid, and you are right, NONE of my doctors excepts that. Only they do.... I confronted my pain doc. and asked her why she sees me at all. She said honestly, that some can pay, and some cannot. In her opinion it balances out. I am ever so grateful she does see me on a regualar basis. Yes you do need more help. Some doctor has to take heart with you and treat you like a human being in pain. When you find this doctor, your life will get better. It is a question of searching. Get angry about it if you have to. You deserve good care no matter what state you are in, or what you financial situation is. Living in pain does drive a person nuts. It causes depression, and a feeling of worthlessness. Seek the help. If you post near where you live, perhaps someone on our site will have a name for you. Also your primary care doctor, should give you a referral, and if necessary call that doctor himself to get you in. don't give up, get assertive and find that care. We all will support you here on NT, while you go through these issues.
Have heart, someplace there will be help for you. ginnie