Hi L.J.

On the neuro with no personality....what can I say, the majority don't have the best bedside manner, however, if he does have Aspergers, he is likely the BEST read on your procedure...and those people get absolutely OCD on their topics...he may be the best technical doc...he probably doesn't do his own exams or own interviews, because the guy might know he has no social skills. If so, I give him credit for that. He knows his strengths and weaknesses. You can't educate an Aspergers person very easily if at all in reading social clues. I equate it to teaching a blind person what 'blue' is if they never saw it. I have an almost adult adopted Aspergers child who no longer lives with me. You could ask that kid any part of the anatomy of any bug, and she knew it...unfortunately she got into artificial computerized creatures...I will go no further on this issue. Lots of computer geeks have it...and they are good at what they do. We do expect our docs to have social skills, some have a lack of them due to problems, some are just arrogant.

I guess we have to choose. I have always been more prone to go to physicians who have personalities....and for most things, I agree that is key, except for highly technical surgeries...I have learned to change the rule there. If the BEST guy or gal for the job has zero social skills, but is excellent in the surgical suite (pitty the poor scrub and ciruclating nurses), that would be my choice...then I do not need to see him/her again...just do the job, man/mam!!

I think seeing some one regarding why your bone is not healing is key. Having gone thru that 'bone not healing thing' myself, only with a far less important situation, just a tibial plateau, I can not imagine the frustration and worry you must have with your spine. I know my spinal problem of desication at T8 and T9 is very hard to live with...I know I have talked to you regarding my chances of operability. I know what you are facing.

It is essential to find out why that original one did not heal, and I am really reluctant to advise anyone to proceed with a back surgery after one 'failed back' until they find out why it failed...which you are wisely doing.

Perhaps the loose screws allowed for movement..hmm, but that won't come up in conversation. Gosh, even that, tho would probably result in some spurring??

I feel badly that the doc that is supposed to operate has this affliction with social skills. It is so comforting to get docs that can sit down and really talk to us. I just can't imagine going thru surgery without it, but like I said, you need a successful surgery so maximize your chances.

I commend you on your cautious approach, no rushing into things. More people should follow that rule.

If you do choose this guy, maybe you can luck out or even ask for the anesthesiologist with the best bedside manner. That might help in the OR...even a good nurse to hold your hand.

You generally give most readers on the forum advice, so likely I am not telling you anything new....

It sounds like you guys in NY have quite a support system. Out here in the nether world we don't have that....we are just lost in the woods or prairie grass.