I'm glad, Sue, you're back home, if it's MERSA stuff, you really are better off being home....after all there's all those really SICK people in hospitals..ya can catch something there! Please check in now and then to let us know how you're doing? It's nasty stuff and seems to never go away.

Melody, after all the infusion panic stuff, then court today, I hope you and Alan are safely home and catching up on a heap of well deserved and over-due z's! And, nothing more than some extra PN due to the stresses.

Super good thoughts and hugs to you both! - j

We just got home from Court.

Alan was good. I was good and things went well!!!

Alan has no fever, no symptoms and no nothing, SO FAR. Don't want to put a hex on anything.

So keeping fingers, toes and anything else I can cross.

Now I am going to go to see So you Think you can Dance!!!

And I'm going to EAT MY DINNER.

I'm starving.

Thanks everybody.

Love, Melody

I'm sending thoughts to you. My goodness you have a lot going on in your life and with your own issues that must be hard. Just remember to take care of yourself too and ask for help because you can't help others if you don't take care of you. On a lighter note your posts always have so much hope and an upbeat feeling. You have an awesome spirit.

I just hope my awesome spirit doesn't get me in trouble. Last night as Alan and I were coming home from Court, there were all these people on the trains. Now we don't usually take trains, we use Access-a-ride to go TO and FROM places.

But because you don't know when you get out of Court, we had to go home by train. This was at 8:30 p.m. Still light outside and trains are jam packed full of people. So here we are, two almost 60 year old people, full of arthritis, walking slowly up and down stairs to trains, and holding on for dear life.

And the people are running in front of us, behind us, healthy legs, just running whereever they have to run and I'm holding on to Alan.

So I sit down (now remember I'm almost 60, I look okay for my age, I' wearing a conservative black top, a skirt and my sneakers. And I have makeup on. But I'M ALMOST 60!!! I'm saying this for a reason.

Alan and I are sitting as the train is going, and I look to my right and there's this guy staring at me. Now I'm not imagining anything, Lord knows I KNOW when a man is staring at me. So I look away, then I look back and he's STARING AT ME. Then he gets up and he starts humming Silent Night. Everybody of course is wondering who is humming Silent Night. Then he starts humming and singing Jewish Songs. He was wearing orthodox jewish clothing so I knew he was religious. So he moves his seat and we still hear the singing.

Now we get off at 36th Street and HE GETS OFF AT 36TH STREET. We change trains. AND HE CHANGES TRAINS. He gets on our train.

I look at Alan and I say "why is this guy taking the same two trains as we are? Alan just shrugged. Then we get off at 18th Avenue AND HE GETS OFF AT 18TH AVENUE. So Alan and I waiting for the bus to take us home.
The guy is standing 3 feet from me mumbling to himself.

The bus pulls up and stops dead midway between me and the guy. The bus doors open up and the guy takes off his hat, bows and make a sweeping gesture as if to say "ladies first". I said nothing and got on the bus with Alan behind me. The guy gets on the bus.

I sit next to Alan and I say "If this nut gets off at our stop, I'm not walking home," And Alan says "melody, what are the odds this guy is getting off when we do?" and I said "what are the odds that this guy took 2 trains and the same bus and he's on the bus WITH US RIGHT NOW???

Alan just shook his head and said "Listen, have some faith in me, if he tries anything, I'll take care of him". So we are riding on the bus and the nutty guy is all the way in the back. I never turned around to look at him.

We get to our stop and we get off. DO YOU KNOW THAT HE GETS OFF TOO!!!!!

I'm standing there and I say to Alan "oh my god, the guy got off the bus too" Alan says "let's just stay here and watch what he does."

The guy never approached us, he walked across he street and went into a chinese take-out. Alan and I made sure he never saw which way we walked and we looked behind our backs as we walked the two blocks to our house.

I have never been so spooked. I once had a stalker (years and yearsa ago)and it puts a fear into your heart. I was shaking so when I got in the house, I was saying "what if finds where we live, what if he's nuts (well, you know what I mean)

Alan then says "don't worry, he did not follow us home, and you're safe because I propped a chair in front of the door and it's jammed. No one can get in. I took a xanax and went to bed. Of course I'm panicked. I mean, a guy takes the same trains, bus, and gets off at the same stop. What are the odds? I don't know but I do know I put a pocket knife in my purse and I have to go and make a wash today.

If I so much as see him, well, I don't know what I'll do. This getting older makes you fearful AND I DON'T LIKE TO BE FEARFUL!!! I have enough going on in my life.

Melody

Hi Melody:

I know just what you mean about being older and feeling vulnerable. I feel the same way but I am much older than you (almost 78). I feel that an older woman, especially alone in public, can become a sort of "target". And right now I have a pinched nerve and walk slower and sometimes have to use a walking stick.

That man sure was acting strangely and who knows what his problem was. Be assured you in no way invited this behavior! I hope you don't come across the man again.

Just remember you had Alan there to protect you!

Shirley H.

Alan will protect me. At least that's why he's been working out at the gym for the past year. He's got muscles on top of his muscles. The only reason he hasn't gone in a month is the foot ulcer. But he'll go back Monday.

I told him "more muscles, more muscles" "I'm a hot 60 year old who attracts weird people on trains, SO WORK OUT!!!!"

He laughed his head off.

I'm better today. I went to the laundromat. Can't hide myself in my house. Once you do that, you never leave.

I was an abused woman over 35 years ago. It was my first real boyfriend who I was madly in love with. Thank god I knew enough to leave.

I don't want to feel that kind of fear ever again. I don't like people encroaching (is that a word???) in my personal space.

I think the man from last night was a nut and he will probably go and follow someone else on another train.

Me??? I carry a knife now. Alan tells me "don't do that, just kick him in the "you know where". "That will stop him in his tracks".

We shall see if this is ever necessary.

Gee, it stinks to be getting older, getting more fearful and knowing that there are nuts out there.

Melody

Mel - does your state have a "carry permit" that allows you to carry a pistol? I'm 75 and have a carry permit and I go armed almost everywhere. Of course, I've had the training for this and I'm also retired from the military so I feel comfortable with going "armed". Have never had reason to draw my gun but wouldn't hesitate if the circumstances required it. This give me a sense of security and if someone attacked they would regret it.

Mel

You have the best gift on earth....your verbal skills...Yell FIRE.

Studies have shown people respond to Fire over rape, attack, or murder calls...Don't yell help me...yell Fire!

I don't consider 60 old at all. I am 54. I do think this guy might have been giving you a hard time...the chances of him getting off at your stop in New York are slim...of course, you know some places hire private detectives in litigation stuff....It is hard to believe that some one would do that over this.

As far as the gun, my husband is a law enforcement professional (mid-management). I won't say exactly what he does. He has the opinion that most of us inexperienced people get hurt or killed with our own guns, and no, we are no match for younger people, as no matter how much we train, a strong younger person will likely overpower even the best trained older person, and get their gun, and then you have a strong, armed young person. We as older adults can maintain muscle mass, but we do develop sarcopenia...the best we can do it fight it with weight lifting, but, just like our VO2max and max heart rate....there are declines...not that a really trained older elite athlete can't kick butt.

My son trained me to shoot with a rifle, and I hit about 75%...but that is in a relaxed state and a non moving target....give me a hand gun and a moving target with the fear factor and God only knows what would happen. I would likely shoot myself!! My son is a military expert marksman with recent combat experience. He said I am a great shot, provided he is there to watch me and I don't get distracted or nervous...or overexcited because I think I am a hotshot.

If any one ever shoots right at you, you make yourself a smaller target by standing sideways, if there is no other method of escape. Perhaps you might feel better by taking a class on self protective behaviors. It is likely the guy who followed you is just a nut....

Call me a hick, but the worst we have to worry about here is tornadoes, and airborne bicycling witches inside those tornadoes (oh wait, that might be me!! ) and gossip. LOL If I am not here next week perhaps a house landed on me...and those feet sticking out..well, hey they won't ache anymore.

Glad you got home safe....Silent Night??? and Orthodox Jewish garb? I can picture the Pope dancing at a Jewish wedding, hmm....(I come from a very mixed relgious tradition, which makes me either very tolerant or very confused,) but my, my, New York definitely is diverse!!

its a moot point about the gun since new york city i s the hardest place to get a permit in the nation. Unless you are a billionaire or political friend of the mayor's of course.

pepper spray is a good alternative as well as some small flashlights which can actually blind the person while you make your escape.....i really would not recommend a knife for the same reason as cycleopes said about it being used on you.

an extra reason I feel safer carrying my cane! Can you see the headlines now?

ROBBER FOILED BY HANDICAP TARGET'S CANE [OR WALKER?]!!!

It's soo hard to tell whether a person is simply ill, crazy or dangerous these days. I believe you aren't supposed to make eye contact or some such. Now, if you see him again and again...then get spooked? Then there are some ill and slitely crazy people who are really nice folks once you get to know them...

Now can you tell me how not to forget that I've got my cane in hand and almost trip over it? ! - j