Hi Cat,
Sorry, it took me a while to get back too you. I'm really happy to hear you have children. When you said you haven't had a period in 21 years I thought you may have had trouble conceiving. How old is your child/children?

I don't think you mentioned if you have health insurance or not. If you do, call the number on the back of the card and ask them for the names of counselors who will take your insurance. If you do not have insurance get the list anyway. If money is an issue many counselors will charge on a sliding scale bases on salary.

As for your exercise, that is quite a bit for the amount of calories you take in. I know cross fit is extreme exercise. I have never done hot yoga but have heard it is difficult. I was very into working out before I got sick. I was at the gym 4-6 days a week for 2 1/2 hours. In order to be that active the body requires much more than normal in the way of calories.

I have found in practice that doctors are extremely reluctant to speak to their patients about weight. As a school nurse, most of the doctors I spoke with concerning a students weight requested I speak with them and their parents about it. I have never understood why. I applaud your GYN for addressing it.
Did the fertility specialist mention it? That's one of the issues they usually address. I suspect, if you were this thin for years it was probably the cause for your periods stopping or at the least it should have been looked into.

I believe you do want to be hungry and enjoy eating. This is an extremely difficult situation your in, those words are not powerful enough to even describe the situation, but it's all I can think of right now. Your words were good, it is maddening.

By saying you have taken most of your calories in liquids, did you mean alcohol. If so, have you gone on the searches here to see what supplements you may need. There are people here that can help you with that.

If you want my opinion, I do suspect, you suffer from an eating disorder. I would definitely see someone. Possibly your GP. Don't wait for him/her to bring up your weight. Make weight the reason for your visit. Perhaps they can even point you in the right direction for counseling. As I said before though, it is not for me to diagnosis.

I don't know anything about your life circumstances but this is sometimes the reason eating disorders occur. Weight is one of the few things we have complete control over when everything else seems to be spiraling down around us.

Did you read about the connection between neuropathy and anorexia. It is interesting. I was not aware of the connection.

I hope this helps a little.
Hopeful