[dancinglady]

Do you still have any resemblance of your pre-pain life? As you may have read in my introduction I have very little to be happy about. Now I am in constant pain and what is the use of fighting this battle? Please read my intro before you reply to this. Thank you.

[icelander]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

Do you still have any resemblance of your pre-pain life? As you may have read in my introduction I have very little to be happy about. Now I am in constant pain and what is the use of fighting this battle? Please read my intro before you reply to this. Thank you.

Yes I have, I've been posting about it lately. I play my ukulele daily and at times with friends and I take short walks with the dogs and fortunately I live on a creek with a half acre so I can hang down there with the dogs. I read, cook, and do a ton of relaxation/meditation throughout the day. Whatever I've been doing something is holding the worst of pain I was experiencing at bay. Until it returns I'll keep doing this. If it does return and looks like it won't abate then I've given myself the gift of self delivery as an act of self love and respect. I've researched that just as in depth as I've researched my "disease" so as not to make things worse with doing it in haste or incorrectly.

So take that for what it's worth.

[pinkynose]

Originally Posted by icelander

Yes I have, I've been posting about it lately. I play my ukulele daily and at times with friends and I take short walks with the dogs and fortunately I live on a creek with a half acre so I can hang down there with the dogs. I read, cook, and do a ton of relaxation/meditation throughout the day. Whatever I've been doing something is holding the worst of pain I was experiencing at bay. Until it returns I'll keep doing this. If it does return and looks like it won't abate then I've given myself the gift of self delivery as an act of self love and respect. I've researched that just as in depth as I've researched my "disease" so as not to make things worse with doing it in haste or incorrectly.

So take that for what it's worth.

Thank you for that reminder on the power of meditation. I use to meditate daily and have gotten away from it. I've been in such a funk that I seem to have let go of things that are helpful. I think I am going through an angry stage. I am going to meditate right now and I thank you again for mentioning it.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by icelander

Yes I have, I've been posting about it lately. I play my ukulele daily and at times with friends and I take short walks with the dogs and fortunately I live on a creek with a half acre so I can hang down there with the dogs. I read, cook, and do a ton of relaxation/meditation throughout the day. Whatever I've been doing something is holding the worst of pain I was experiencing at bay. Until it returns I'll keep doing this. If it does return and looks like it won't abate then I've given myself the gift of self delivery as an act of self love and respect. I've researched that just as in depth as I've researched my "disease" so as not to make things worse with doing it in haste or incorrectly.

So take that for what it's worth.

What is self delivery? Do you work? Are you gainfully employed? Are you married or did or do you have children?

[icelander]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

What is self delivery? Do you work? Are you gainfully employed? Are you married or did or do you have children?

Suicide is self delivery, I've seen people here allude to it but I'll say it openly. I'm retired, not married and no children and I cut off my family for being non supportive. I'm in a good position to take care of myself in any way I need to.

[icelander]

Originally Posted by pinkynose

Thank you for that reminder on the power of meditation. I use to meditate daily and have gotten away from it. I've been in such a funk that I seem to have let go of things that are helpful. I think I am going through an angry stage. I am going to meditate right now and I thank you again for mentioning it.

I understand fully. And I understand feeling anger and lots of other emotions. In some of the other threads I mention a couple of CDs that are outstanding for deep relaxation and calming the nervous system. I've searched for many years and these are the best I've found. I don't meditate proper. I do deep relaxation and I can get there fast compared to meditation proper which I don't really relate to well and so have had limited success with. On the other hand the relaxation techniques I use have worked amazingly well. But I admit to being very motivated now.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by icelander

Suicide is self delivery, I've seen people here allude to it but I'll say it openly. I'm retired, not married and no children and I cut off my family for being non supportive. I'm in a good position to take care of myself in any way I need to.

Do you think many pain patients end their lives? How long do you think it takes for a person to decide to do that. What do you think the best way - drug OD, shooting. Do you like assisted suicide? Do you live in a state that it is legal.

[dancinglady]

So I just figured out that my medical bills are adding up to $400 a month. I won't be able to stay at this level for long. I have been told it will be the rest of my life. I won't be able to be eligible for any kind of Medicaid. I have worked all my life with good retirement income in a couple years but now it will all go for medical bills. No new clothes no new anything no new vacations live in subsidized dangerous housing in my community. Wow what a great life and then being in pain for the rest of my life.

How do you live in poverty when you watch all your providers and pharmaceuticals living in total luxury at your expense. Wow what a great present. No thanks I am out of here!!!!!!

[Chemar]

Hi there,
So sorry to hear of the suffering that is causing these feelings.

Many people find talk of suicide very triggering and so, as per our guidelines, we do ask that members limit discussion of it on the health forums, and rather discuss on the forum we have designated here http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html

We do request that the discussion please not be graphic, again due to this being a very sensitive and triggering topic.

Thanks