If you don't want to get used to the new conditions, it could be that you are not ready yet. Physical as well as mental changes have their own timeline. Neuropathy is a great teacher of patience. If you survived a heart attack and you are still walking around you have at least two things to feel fortunate about. Acceptance in itself is an admission that you are going to be different. Try to believe that your symptoms are going to change over time and what you are experiencing right now may not be way you are going to end up. Trials and tribulations are good proving grounds to see if you are mostly pessimist or optimist. You are still early in this struggle, so don't beat yourself up. Patience will come slowly and slowly you will cope. Good Luck, Ken in Texas.

Ken I always feel better after reading your posts. Thank you!

Cliffman

Sound advice. I understand the need to do the things you know are wrong. We all need to break the cycle of "trying to be perfect" every now and then. I think it's healthy. You have to make sure it's a 'holiday' and not an 'everyday' though. SFN will alert you fast to the realization that you are betraying your body's needs. In a way it can be a good alert system for your body. i know when I get intense flare ups that it means i have allowed myself to fall back into a habit that is a pain trigger. In my case it's wheat, sugar, starches, etc. SFN is a brutal thing to suffer thru because it is always there, there is no respite from it. I think it also forces you to give up some bad habits. I know my SFN doesn't hate me for eating an apple or having a nice bowl of grilled chicken and sliced carrots over spinach and romaine with a dash of grapeseed oil...wonder why????<sarc>

I actually find some of my most optimistic moments in doing intensive research on the options for treatment on the condition. Then i can try different supplemental therapies (some are certainly helpful). I also look to the words of scripture (not gonna preach at anyone on that though). I am self employed as a hobbyist, i can escape much of the pain by painting and doing artwork. I have a wife, kids and pet that also bring me much cathartic comfort. Watching them enjoy life makes me happy even if it frustrates me that i can't always enjoy it with them as much as i'd like to. The key thing in many ways is DISTRACTION. DO NOT focus on the pain. it WILL exasperate it. Its why meditation works for many. I don't believe in meditation - I go into intense prayer instead. Either way those techniques work.

Life is always about adjustments. It's never smooth sailing for anyone. Embrace what you are and rebel against self pity.

I don't know if it's the Gabapentin or me but I feel angry this morning and in denial. I have only been on the Gaba a few days at 100mg 3x daily. My thoughts are that If I can not live the way I did before the SFN than I don't want to be here at all. I feel groggy and out of sorts. Sorry, I don't want to bring anyone down but I have to be honest about my emotions with those that can understand.

Cliffman

My thoughts are similar to another poster who suggested you go slower building up Gabapentin to 3 times a day. I take 300mg Gabapentin at night only (with dinner.) When I first started the drug about 4 months ago, just going from 100mg to 200mg affected me badly. Besides the bloating the next day I felt I was 2 steps behind everyone else. I have always loved my sharp-witted brain and I became very depressed and angry. In 2 weeks I went to 300mg and I woke up the next day very groggy and depressed. I went back to 200mg, but after a week of poor sleep I tried again. It took about 2 more weeks, but my body adjusted and the fog has lifted.

I retired a little over a year ago and I had it all planned out. I waited until I was 66 so I could get full social security and be on Medicare. I was having the most wonderful time doing things I loved for about 6 months. Then out of nowhere this hit. If people looked at me now and saw my blood test results they would not suspect a thing. Angry, depressed, feeling sorry for myself, not wanting to live this way were all thing I have felt.

Through due diligence on my part by finding the right people to help me, continuously researching, being on this forum, taking the supplements that work for me, eating foods that help with inflammation and cutting down on the ones that contribute to it (sugar, etc.) I have improved. I now have a better understanding of most of my triggers and it is up to me to avoid them or pay the consequences which helps take me out of the victim role. This phase of my life isn't the way I had planned it to be, but it's better than it was 8 months ago and definitely better than other options.

The feeling happens, but it WILL pass. Wait it out!

Cliffman, I think it's understandable to feel that way. Starting on a medication is always tough, and difficulties coping with a chronic illness are to be expected. But your just at the beginning of this. You don't know what the future holds. Hang in there, and do everything you can to find the cause and treat it. Even if you remain ideopathic, keep doing all the things that are recommended here, to give yourself the best chance to improve or at least stabilize.