Hi Shirley:
That picture was taken last year and I'll hit the big 60 on November 4th.

I have been making some major changes in my appearance because none of my clothes fit me and I had to buy some skirts and blouses and handbags. I went from being a frumpy overweight person to the person in my photo.

I thought I looked good and I thought Alan liked the way I looked when I would meet up with him at Dunkin Donuts. Boy I couldn't have been more wrong.

I asked him tonight, "do you notice the changes I am making, how does that make you feel??" I just wanted his opinion. Well, it seems he thinks I'm being ridiculous. He says it's vanity. Women shouldn't be vain. It's a sin.

Isn't that nice?? After all the stuff I have done for him, gone to doctors, taken care of his feet, day after day, he says such a thing to me.

Well, as of my typing this post, I am not talking to him. He is absolutely clueless. What a shame.

I do appreciate your taking the time to give me some nice words. It's nice that somone does. Not happening in this house.

Melody

Melody,
Alan fell in love and married you when you were a "frumpy overweight" woman. Perhaps he is just afraid you will be noticed by someone else. He knew he really had a treasure when he found you.

Billye

I wish I could post a photo of what I looked like when I married Alan

I was 32 years old and looked like Elizabeth Taylor. No joke. people would stop me in the street. All that changed as I got older, had my son, he gave us problems, I ate, ate. And oh yeah, I got really big. And so did he.

But he just walked in the computer room and said 'I know you are not speaking to me, but you don't have to tape Big Brother for me". I said "I had no intention of taping anything for you because I'm not speaking to you".

He then said 'I have no idea why you are mad at me, what did I do (CLUELESS!!!!!)

I then said 'when a woman has done all the things I have done for you, then she loses weight and looks better than she has looked in years, and when that woman gets dressed up for you to go out for breakfast, you are NOT supposed to tell that woman that she is vain"

His response "but you asked me'. We both burst out laughing. I said 'you are indeed clueless" I do believe he has aspergers (just like his son), or perhaps it's the reverse. My son has his father's asperger traits.

I mean, I really do believe he meant no harm but jeez, give me a break.

He just said 'I guess we are not going to Dunkin Donuts tomorrow morning." I responded "oh, I'm going, and if I meet a nice guy, he can buy me breakfast". He's now sulking in the other room.

I love this. lol

Melody

P.S. when you said he married a frumpy overweight woman, I nearly laughed my head off.

Tell him your not vain but proud of your hard work in taking care of yourself. I hope he compliments you. I know many men don't like change it threatens them. Maybe you can pick up a younger man at dounkin donuts. Just kidding. I did think of you today cause I got a fancy donut roll this morning from there. Its my favorite and coffee of course.

Thank you very much for giving me good thoughts.

We gals have to stick together and bolster our self-esteem.

Alan realized what he did and came over to me last night and hugged me and said "I'm sorry, can we please go to Dunkin Donuts tomorrow morning".

We both laughed.

I do believes that if you can laugh after you almost hit someone with a wet noodle, well, you can face stuff together.

So you be good to yourself. You go and eat at Dunkin and smile at people.

You might even meet a nice guy there.

How's your pain level doing??

Melody

Well,
Melody, I tried. Thinking only of boosting your thoughts. Again, I'll blame this on the Sjogren's brain fog.

Billye

See, Alan shouldn't have made me angry at him. I just came back from the Feast. Bought another handbag.

See what happens when I get annoyed???? lol

I'll be up to my neck in handbags.

Melody

And Billye, don't worry about your brain fog. Some day, I must get out some old photos of me and put them on a disc and upload to photobucket. You'll all laugh. My god, how we looked at 20, and now at 60.

Oh, want to hear something interesting? When Alan was in college, he joined a fraternity in Seton Hall and joined the Pershing Rifles.

These are the guys that do the Silent Drill precision stuff (like the Silent Drill Marine Team).

I looked at Alan and said "you mean, you did the spinning of the rifles, and throwing of the rifles over your head at the other team members??, you've got to be kidding!!!" and he laughed and said: "yeah, I was a member of the Pershing Rifles for two years".

Who knew that my husband threw rifles????

Here's how the Marines do it. Alan used bayonets also.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y90UPLLo6nY