Mel, you amaze me. It seems you really put a lot of effort into doing for others. I am so bad about getting out and doing things like that, and I drive and have a car. You are doing it with access a ride! I want your energy and attitude!

Well, unfortunately I never learned to drive (maybe that's a good thing now-a-days given all the crazy people behind the wheel). But Access-a-ride is my only option if I want to go anywhere and for $2.00 door to door, you really can't beat that.

I just got home from visiting my friend. Boy did I get an education. I knew she was anorexic but what I just found out today is that she was bulimic up until a few weeks ago. That's correct. I thought she got over all that years ago. Seems I was dead wrong. We would go out for omellettes and I just found out today that when she got home, she would, well, do what bulimics do. I never knew. That's why she had no chance in hell in fighting the lung cancer. You need good nutrition for that fight and she still refuses to eat and they can't force her. And she was still using laxatives, even after she had her colon resected because of previous laxative use. Boy, did I learn about anorexia today. I really had no true grasp of how serious a condition this is.

She's down to 50 lbs and while I believe she recognized me, well, it's going to be over soon. I just held her, then I held her 83 year old mother and her sister, then we all went into the other room and they all devoured my muffins. You would think they never had a blueberry muffin before. Even the people across the street came in.

I wish I could say it was nice socializing but unfortunately, she is now on palliative care. The hospice person was there besides the aide. I also found out that family members can administer morphine from a dropper.

I never knew this. I always thought a doctor or nurse had to do this.

So she is without discomfort and it should end peacefully soon.

She was my good friend. I wish her a good journey.

Say a prayer, okay??

Thanks, Melody

Thank you Melody for taking time to do this. I know it must have been very hard for you to see her in this condition. I'm just glad she has family there. With my Mom in the nursing home as long as she was, I've unfortunately seen too many people in that condition altho for different reasons. It always saddened me when no family was there.

Thank you Melody for being there.

Billye

Hi Billye:

You know what used to get me about people in nursing homes (and I still don't get this to this day). Twelve years ago, both my parents were in Richey Manor Rehabilitation and Nursing Home in Florida. It was a very very nice place, very hospitable. I flew out as much as a person can fly out.

At the time I was 48 so these people in the wheelchairs were all over 75. I will never forget this one lady, always walking around with a cup of coffee. Since I didn't know her story, I met her for the first time and she looked me in the face and said "where is my room?" So I looked at her arm band and said "oh, here it is, you are in room 4B, I'll take you there". I took her to her room and on the other side of the room was another older person and there were tons of photos behind them. It's a hospital bed but a homey environment and they like when you put up photos, keepsakes, etc.

Well, this nice lady had no photos behind her bed or up on the wall or anyplace. So I put her on the bed very gently, and bid her goodbye.

Ten minutes later I see her over on the other side of the place and I walk over to her and she goes "where is my room?" I just looked at her completely baffled and I said "But I just took you to your room". Some nurse walked over and whispered "alzheimers" (I really do not think I completely understood what that was 12 years ago).

So I was visiting my parents for 5 days (I stayed in a nearby motel). I would go there bright and early and leave around 10 p.m. every night.

Do you know how many times that poor lady would ask people "where is my room?" I asked the nurse "what is her story? how come she has no photos up?" and the nurse shook her head and said "granny dumping". I said "what the hell is granny dumping".

It seems it's very common in nursing homes, people just take an elderly family member, who is senile and just dumps them at the door and drives away.

I had never heard of such a thing in my life up until that moment. I think that was the single most appalling thing I had ever heard of.

I made it my business to get that lady coffee whenever she wished. I also took out my makeup case every day and made up all the elderly ladies. You should have seen them with the fake necklaces, all my makeup, and eye shadow on them. I even gave one of them my Sudden Beauty instant face lift bottle. She liked that it tightened up her wrinkles. These ladies had a ball.

And so did I. They were all nice, but very lonely. So for 5 days, I put makeup on everybody.

It was the best thing I ever did. And the best time I ever had.

But Granny Dumping??? It should be a crime.

Melody

HI! I did my clinical for college in a nursing home. We worked with the recreation director and did all kinds of games, and made things that helped people remember who they were and what day it was... etc...for the people there. We saw lots of people who'd been dumped there. Several were people with mental issues and they'd been there for more than 20 yrs and eventually they would die there! I have wondered every since....."What kind of world do we live in where this can go on?" How sad is it to think that your kids could drop you off at a home and say "goodbye" and because your age and mental capacity was lacking you didn't know what to do about it! It is a crazy world we live in!!

Well, at least I don't have to worry about me having my son "dumping" me anywhere.

He dumped us 6 years ago when he moved away.

Oh well.

Enough sad stuff.

Let's talk Happy Things.

Like how adorable Paul Newman still is, at his age yet!!!

lol
Melody

melody...what are you doing with paul???

Attachment 1678

That the tenactity to WANT to know where their room is may be their only connection left to any reality? People may loose part of their connections to this world, but when they are PUT into another world, what reason on earth wouln't they WANT to connect to what they KNOW? that from which they have been removed or taken from? OK enuf of this!
What we deal with or try to, here, is similar, simply in different degrees or aspects.

Where is the CONTINUED help for Harper? I believe we gained some things here but have seriously lost the original intent of the thread from Harper. Our responses are no longer of relevence to HELP Harper!

Maybe some thoughts should be started under new threads. Harper I for one, apologize. - j