Diana:

Good for you that you were able to give up the cigs. It's very hard, this I know.

When I go to Cornell for my diabetic protocol and I wait outside for the Access-a-ride, there are (I guess they are called smoking booths???). where a person can sit and have a smoke.

One day, one of these booths had no one in them, so I sat and waited for my ride.

In a short while, 4 nurses and one doctor came outside to light up. I had to ask them (I mean, they were DOCTORS & NURSES).

So I just said "I have to ask you a question?" Well, I never got the question out of my mouth. Everybody laughed and said "She wants to know why we are all smoking and we know it's bad for us". I laughed and said "well yeah". and one of the nurses said "It's very simple, I don't want to get fat and if I stop smoking, I'll gain 40 lbs, and I'd rather get cancer than be fat".

That is exactly what this medical person said to me. I said "do you realize what you just said?" and she laughed and said "yeah, it's a really bad addiction" I, of couse said nothing in return because what on earth could I have said??"

And you said I have will power. Let me tell you, in MY case, will power has very little to do with what I did. It was the going to a nutritionist, learning about what the food did to my body, to my diabetes, and visioning down the road, losing a limb to neuropathy. And I didn't even have neuropathy at that point. I was just a plain old diabetic. lol

But believe me when I say this. The day that I got the pins and needles, and burning, well, there didn't have to be any more light bulb moments for me. I actually got the light bulb moment years before that, but the day that the podiatrist touched me with the vibrating tool, and I got an example of what Alan has been going through for 18 years and I said out loud "So this is neuropathy, oh my god, I better never let my sugar get out of control". And this has been my mantra ever since that day. And I faithfully take my Methyl B-12 every morning.

See, in my case, I got smarter as I got older. I should have done this 25 years ago, but well, we can't turn back the clock. But we can look ahead. I just don't want any more complications or visits to hospitals, etc. so I will do whatever I have to do to prevent that. No guarantee, this I know, but I'm trying.

I once read where someone said that aging is not a definite thing, it's a disease, that if we do everything right, we don't have to age and die. Now that might seem like a stupid statement but that's what gets me through every day. And trying to keep the stress down is tough sometimes, but I try and do it as best as I can.

If aging is indeed a disease all to itself and we can do SOMETHING to retard this process, and, at the same time, keep ourselves as healthy as we possibly can, well I don't see any down side to this way of thinking.

Now I might not be 100 years old and going dancing, but I will try to hit that number and still be on this computer posting on the neuropathy forums.

That much I WILL BE DOING. ....hopefully!!!!

lol, Melody

P.S. I bet, with my luck, that I'll be 90 years old, look like I'm 65, be healthy as a horse, and I'll probably get hit by a bull dozer as I cross the street. lol

I guess everyone who has quit smoking has their own method that was successful. At 29, I was smoking 3 packs per day. I decided to start running as a way to help me quit. It helped me work off all the anxiety of going without nicotine. I was in terrible shape, so the first few months were not anything to be proud of, but I enjoyed seeing that I got a little better all the time and was able to run a little farther every week. I worked up to being able to respectably run a 5K race. I had to quit after that because it made my knee and low back hurt, but by then I was no longer smoking! I had occasional cravings for a long time, but these became farther and farther apart. Now, I gag at the thought of smoking. Now, Mel, I'm working on the food thing! You have really encouraged me!

Great thread, Mel. I read every word.
(While smoking a cigarette)
The 'lightbulb moment' is what I call the AH HA! realization.
I'll get there, eventually. I got there once - about 18 yrs ago,
and quit for 2 yrs, but started up again at my mom's funeral 'shivah house'.
She smoked all her life, (Pall Mall- unfiltered longs) but stopped after a triple bypass operation, and it gave her15 more years. My step-dad was an ex-smoker (the worst kind) and was a royal PITA about, it til she stopped - and he constantly berated me for it. (he constantly berated me, and everyone else.....for everything !)
It'll come, eventually, I'm sure.
But I have to pick the correct moment to 'lay the bomb'
on the rest of my house.
I've 'tested the water' before, but have come up with 'bupkis'.

Bob:

Your posting made me laugh out loud, especially when you said you read the posting while smoking a cigarette.

Brings me back in time to three years ago when the girl across the street (Marilyn) had not been feeling well. I've lived on my block for 15 years and have become very friendly with my neighbors. One has to do that when one's family ostrasizes you for having a mentally ill son, who's a gambler. When the family goes, all you really have are friends and neighbors and thank god, I'm a social butterfly.

So we all used to meet outside (for years) in the warm weather and shoot the breeze. About 40 of us. Marilyn had started to feel ill. Her doctor said it was an ocular migraine. She always smoked. She and my girlfriend's husband would walk to the corner (to get away from the non-smokers), and do their thing. Well, her skin began to turn yellow, (she would sit in the sun and we all thought it was a tan, we really did think this). She went to work every day. She ate well. She was a beautiful 53 year old blond single woman.

She once told me "melody, I think smoking is good for the body because I haven't had a cold in 20 years". I just laughed because I knew I couldn't talk her out of it. But I wouldn't go into her house because of the second hand smoke, and once, her tv set broke and since I'm the resident fixer on the block, she called me in. I immediately felt the smoke in the air and said something to the effect "Marilyn, you have to stop smoking" and she literally ran me out of her house. I never forgot that.

But we still sat outside. Then she began to get weak and went for medical tests but nothing came out of them.

Then one day, a neighbor called me up and said "Melody, you and my husband have to take Marily to the hospital, her doctor called, something about her white cell count and she has to go to the ER"

I dropped everything I was carrying, raced to her house and there she was, not even able to get up our of the chair, all yellow and her hair came out in my hands in fistfulls. My other friend's husband just looked at me.

We gently guided her into the car and took her to Maimonides Hospital telling the admitting people that she was expected. Well, they had no clue. So they put her in a little cubicle. The head nurse was throwing everybody out of the ER because you can only stay in the back in the cubicles for one hour. My friend was petrified and kept saying "don't leave me". I said "don't worry". I took my shoes off, sat in a chair, hung my tongue out of my mouth like I was dying, and waiting to see a physician and the head nurse just passed me by. I did this everytime she started to kick out the people. I was able to stay in the ER for 8 hours with Marilyn. During all that time, various interns and residents making rounds would stop by her and question her. After the second round of questions, she would point to me and say "Ask Melody, she knows what's wrong with me". I would then answer all questions because I knew her whole history and medical stuff.

They ran all kinds of tests. In a few hours, a female doctor comes over to us and looks at Marilyn and says: "There's a mass on your liver" She looks at me and says "what does that mean"? I asked the doctor to explain and she did. She told Marilyn, Your liver is supposed to be this size and then she stretched out her arms and said "this is how big your liver is". She then told Marilyn she would have to have surgery.

Marilyn, up to that point, was sitting up, drinking water and although weak, was perfectly lucid, and ambulatory.

Well, as the hours passed by, her other friends showed up and my friend's husband came to pick me up and take me home. I kissed her good bye and never saw her again. After that day, she refused to have any visitors. She knew.......

One of her friends called us up and said "come to my house, we are having a meeting about Marilyn, and I want to tell all of you at once".

We all showed up at Anna Lee's basement and sat around. About 13 of us. Marilyn had absolutely no family except for two distant cousins she hadn't seen in 20 years.

So Anna Lee blurts out "There's good news and Bad News". We just looked at her. The bad news was that Marilyn had Stage 4 Lung Cancer that had spread to the bone, brain, and whatever. I said "and What's the good news??" Anna Lee said "well the doctor told her that she can get chemo and be back to work in no time." I just looked at Anna Lee and said nothing.

With that, one of the men sitting at the table got up to outside and get a smoke. I did not know this man from a hole in the wall, but since he just got the news that Marilyn was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer, I could not for the life of me understand how this man could go outside and have a smoke. As he got up I said quietly said "didn't you hear what Anna Lee said?? " His reply, "oh, yes, and I had cancer a few years ago, and I had chemo". "But I still smoke and can't stop". His wife was sitting next to him and looked very sad and said "believe me I've tried".

That's when it hit me. This stuff in these cigarettes is more addictive, more deadly, than any hot fudge sundae I could ever stuff in my mouth.

If a man can sit at a table and hear that his friend has stage 4 lung cancer and he himself has had cancer, and then he has to go out and smoke, than all the talking in the world is not going to do any good. There will obviously be no lightbulb moment for this guy. (He has since passed away).

They gave Marilyn one chemo treatment and she died the next morning, at the age of 53. Her birthday was during the week. She died exactly 7 days from when we first took her to the hospital. No family whatsoever, so her two distant cousins were called and they had no choice but to come and make arrangements.

On my mom's death certificate, it said: "Contributory cause of death, cigarette smoking".

I know the government allows Big Tobacco to continue to sell these deadly things because it's all about MONEY!!!

I think it's dreadful that nothing is being done to take these things off the shelves. I see young people smoking all the time because a), they think it's cool, b), they have absolutely no clue what the ramifications are for their future c). They are idiot 16 year olds with no brains.

The government is supposed to look out for us, protect us from evil doers, etc. etc. I don't see that happening any time soon, as long as a person can go into a supermarket or any kind of convenience store and purchase a pack of butts that clearly say on the pack 'cigarettes are hazardous to your health, quitting smoking now, will greatly reduce your chances , blah blah blah".

Bob, I really know you want to quit. It's just very hard.

You have had the lightbulb moment. You just have to get up one day (and one day you will), and tell yourself "not another day, will I put something in my mouth that can give me cancer". not another day will I do this".

May not happen for a while. But it will. I think if you read and re-read this story and other stories, that maybe one day, you will try and quit. It's hard. We can only hope.

Here's hoping you live long and prosper, as my friend Mr. Spock used to say.

Take care,
Melody

Smoking (nicotine) is the hardest addiction to break.

That is why I suggested Chantix. This can really help with a minimum of
suffering.

Hi Mrs D:

Want to hear something funny!!!! If you ask my friend what the hardest addiction is to get over, she will answer "Alcohol". because her son is 29, stays up in his room, has pancreatitis, possible chirosis of the liver, has been hospitalized numerous times for black outs, put on antibiotics. A pill to stop the cravings, but he just goes right back to it. So her answer would be alcohol".

My other friend's sister is a meth amphetamine addict. So if you ask her what the worst addiction is you will hear "oh, drugs, absolutely".

Then there's my son (Gambling, video came addiction) Addiction to playing Second Life online (do you know that in today's Daily News newspaper, there is an advertisement that says "are you addicted to online games, are you addicted to Second Life??" "If you are, please call this number".

So we now have new addictions to the already growing group of addictions on the roster.

So you have cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, video games, online games, sex, binging. etc.etc.

My goodness. Who's normal any more??

We are inundated with advertisements in the media to eat at Papa Johns, Dominos, and All you can eat Friendly's ..with portions that can choke a cow.

But oddly enough, they stopped advertising Cigarettes in the media and on TV, quite some time ago.

But that didn't do a darn thing. People still smoke.

I wonder why. I used to think it was the tv ads that made people do stuff.

But if there is no advertisement of the product, why do the kids start up in the first place. I understand peer pressure, but really, are kids really that ignorant of the facts???

Bob, I wanted to give you some more encouragement about quitting smoking.... (Are you getting just sick of this????) Anyway, I tried to quit and failed over and over again for several years. Then one time, seemingly no different that any other time, I was successful. But every time I tried and failed I would kick myself around and tell myself what a miserable, sorry, person I was. Then I wouldn't try again for a long time because I was afraid of failing and having to face what a wretch I was. But now I realize that I wasn't a sorry wretch at all! I was a wonderful person who just kept on trying, and eventually persistance paid off. So don't be too hard on yourself. Be proud of your efforts, and not afraid to persist. You are already a terrific guy for just wanting to quit! I will keep you in my thoughts.

Susan:

I love your little signature.

Mel

Yup !
Enough, already.
Feel 'ganged-up on'
Moving on,....and on,......and on, ......and.....
.......my cold is getting better. (Remember?)

There are folks with soap boxes and those with soap.
Glad your cold is receding! - j