I couldn't be a size 2, if I lost 50 more lbs. I'm just a 5 foot 7 inch woman who is built like a woman and not like those fashion models.

I don't have the frame for that. I look about 50 lbs less than I weigh. I've had fights with doctors in the office because every time I used to weigh myself, everybody would look at me and say "what the hell are you eating"?? then they would LOOK at my body and say: "Oh, wait a moment, she doesn't look it, let's check the scale". Well, they must have checked many scales in my case. Even body builders at the gym, used to walk around me in a circle and cluck their chins and go "hm hm", trying to figure out WHERE all my weight was??

I can only think that my bones are very dense (right word???, don't know)

I dont' have muscle because I don't lift weights. I SHOULD lift weights but I'm deathly afraid because of what happened all those years ago. I do know that I should do more reps and less pounds (on the dumbells), that much I know. But with my knees lately, well, I'm not doing any of that.

I do walk. (when my knees allow it).

About the mercury. I do know the order of the fish on the food chain. Bigger fish eat the smaller fish. So the bigger the fish, you get all the mercury from all the fish that the previous fish has eaten. So if you eat a sword fish, well, you ate that swordfish, and all the fish he ate, and so far down the food chain. I believe the best fish is mackeral and Salmon. I like Salmon.

I like filet of sole. I have no idea what kind of fish a fillet of sole even looks like, but when I get done with it, believe me, it's a nice piece of fish.

I have discovered that fish is good for my blood sugar. I don't eat tuna that much. Maybe a few times a month. I mainly eat the veggies, and some shrimps (can't get any smaller than that, right??) and my cholesterol is fine, thank goodness.

In January, I go for the BIG 2 year test at Cornell. They test EVERYTHING. from ekgs, to blood, to, well, EVERYTHING!!!

So I get the big CHECKUP, in January. I wish they would put me in one of those body scanners that Oprah had on her show. They scan the whole body and tell you EVERYTHING that they find. All in one shot.

I just may ask the guys at Cornell if they do this stuff.

Wouldn't that be cool?? Like on Star Trek!!!

Oh, I made a bunch of brownies today, to die for. Alan went absolutely over the moon. Just one batch. When they are gone, they are gone until Christmas. I don't want any triggers in this house.

I allowed myself one. My god, when you haven't eaten any of this good stuff for SO long, your brain goes gazooey!!!.

Alan was just sitting at the kitchen table having his coffee and going "oh my god, these brownies." I took the rest of the platter away from him. lol

I ordered the crutches you recommended last night. They do truly look as if they will help. After a busy day on the crutches yesterday, I woke up this morning with very numb hands. The right one was numb up to the elbow. This is the elbow that was broken. I'm sure hoping they help unload some of this pain.

Billye

Melody you crack me up. In addition though depending on type of Salmon it can be high in mercury. I like fish too but my cooking of it is horrible. Basically of all animal products.Melody have you ever tried no pudge brownies I think they have 100 calories when you make them and low in fat. Your husband might like those.Good luck on your test. That test you said is on Oprah sounds good to me too. I'm so worried about issues that I would like for every part to be looked at. I was wondering other then sugar has anyone found any other type of foods they feel adds to there pain?

Daniella:

What is no pudge brownies??

If they aren't sweet, Alan won't go near them.

I just came home from a friend who has a TENS unit. I had brought mine over ( it was lent to me, and I've never used it on Alan). I wanted to learn how to use it.

Her husband started to attach the electrodes, pull off the little square thingees, he attaches the electrodes, then he goes, "oh you have to be careful not to put it too high", etc. That did it for me. I said "put everything back in the box. I'll massage Alan myself."

Alan heard that it's like 1000 fingers massaging you on your back, side, wherever you put this thing. He wants to try it. I said "you do it, I'm not touching any electrodes".

Oh, today he got the Shiatsu massage pad that you place on top of the chair (he uses it on the computer chair). Well, he turns it on and he's in heaven. All that thumping going up and down his spine. He was in heaven. Not me, I have scoliosis and I don't like anything or anybody thumping up and down my spine.

At least it doesn't have any electrodes!!!

Melody

The Brownie of Your Dreams!!
If you thought that a 2-POINT brownie
that's just as fudgy as the real thing sounds
too good to be true, then you haven't tried
No Pudge! Brownies"

This is what they say about the brownies. If you google it they have a website too.They are low fat and I think 100 calories but are sweet. They have them usually in the cake mix area or if you have trader joes. I have never had them. I really am not into chocolate but heard they are super good.

I'm with you on that machine but at least your husband found it helpful. He is willing to try a lot it seems. I'm always fearful.

Ah!!! now I understand No Pudge Brownies.

Unfortunately, I can't make them. See, I can't go backwards, the way I used to be. I used to hit the twinkies, ding dongs and hostess ho ho's and susi Q's.

If I start doing the No Pudge Brownie thing, well, my brain will be triggered.

I've stopped that way of eating. I do enjoy an occasional brownie (like on holidays or a piece of birthday cake at a party). But honestly, when you've weighed what I use to weigh. And when you finally get your body to a size where you can shop for clothes at regular stores and and people don't notice your girth as you pass them by... well, that's good enough for me.

As a matter of fact, I just came from around the corner, at a friend's house. I helpe her with some word-processing and she offered me some cake to bring home. She baked all day yesterday. Now, I call this weekend Thanksgiving Weekend. So I'm not about to turn down someone's chocolate pudding pie. I brought a piece home for Alan, and yes, I had a piece after supper with a nice cup of coffee. It tasted exactly as if I had made sugar-free chocolate pudding pie, with fat free cool whip. Exactly the same. It was good.

Now will I go out tomorrow and buy some sugar free jello chocolate and cool whip and make some pie?? No!!!. I've had my treat for thanksgiving.

Next time will be Christmas. If someone gives me some Christmas cake, that will be fine.

I've had to re-educate my brain chemistry. Not an easy thing to do at ANY age. But I persevere. See, I want to reach the age of 80 and still look like Raquel Welch!!! Remember her??? lol Melody

Melody, i di the same kind of pantry clean out and i think it is an essential part of serious weight loss. it is harder when there are others in the house but if you think aboiut it, when you have kids, they are learning from your example and that includes eating habits so i would suggest that if there are less than perfect snack foods in the house they should be limited and they should be a a seperate spot to the usual food, eg somewhere the kids can access them directly when given permission but you do not access at all and once the snacks have gone, the drawer/cupboard is not restocked until next shopping day. It might sound tough but i would hate to think that one day in the future the kids would have to learn the same tough lessons as us- for me it was simple, i live alone, so i do not have to worry about others likes and wants.
I agree you too that we do not see ourselves properly too, i knew i was big but certainly did not think i weighed close to 400 pounds, i had not weighed myself or months as i could not find a scales that i could weigh in my wheelchair, i thought i was about 80 pounds less. When i made the commitment to lose weight after my ms flared, i had sought out a scales i could use at home, i found a platform that fitted over a standard highweight bathroom scales that allowe me to weigh in my chair, thats when i got the unpleasant truth! Once i started losing weight i found it hard to see any progress, i got a bit down when i got to 50 pounds lost as i could not see any difference, i felt as though i was so huge that 50 pounds was not enough to notice, luckily i had taken some digital shots on the day i started and had takenn follow ups each month after so i used photoshop to overlay the newest shot over the original, then made the newesr one transperant and because the shots had been taken in exactly the same position i could see the difference, and it was substantial! so i have carried on doing that a well as taking body measurements etc, its like we need to re program our brains to see the real us. I still look huge to me, i am still big, i still have a BMI in the high 30's but that is better than the 61 it was this time last year. My current problem is that due to my disabilities i can very rarely try clothes on in stores, they often do not even have change rooms that are wheelchair accessible so i have to buy the sizei think is right and take it home to try, i found that i have a tendancy o buy the size that is too big. To get around it i have tried to get into the habit of buying what i think is too small to chase down into, and sometimes they are too snug as intended, all too oten they are the right size- i have gone from size 34 elasticaticed waist fat lady jeans, to size 22 tailored jeans with a proper fitted wasit ban,d ( australian sizes) this is great as even stores that deal with larger sizes tended to go to size 26 only then i had to rely mail order, at size 22, i seem to have so much more choice, i can buy stuff i like not just because its all that i can find in my size!


Silverlady, i hope you find the crutches help you as much as they helped me! I had been getting dreadful pain in the joints at the base of my thumbs in particular and thats where i felt the benefit first. I also found some gloves aimed at people with arthritis, they are made from neoprene, fingerless gloves and are made by a number of companies that make knee, ankle braces etc, the type you buy at sports goods stores or drug stores. These are good for me when using the crutches/canes but also make great wheelchair gloves too. OT/PT's can sometimes custom make supports for wrists etc too. I really would investigate the feldenkries technique imentioned before, even if you only do some internet research. I have progressed back from wheelchair 100% to limited walking and the right aids and the techniques i was taught hashelped me maximise what i am able to to do. My prosthesis is really heavy, the knee is locked in extension which puts a lot of extra stress on my lower back due to hitching my leg to walk but the techniques i was taught has helped me to stretch my lower back out properly when i take my prosthesis off to minimise pain and stiffness

sorry to waffle on for so long
Karen

Karen:

Keep waffling. This is a thread about losing weight, right? And we've lost weight, so we share information.

I have a comment about the healthy snacks at home thing. It never applied in my house. I was overweight when I married, stayed overweight until I was around 55 or so. And all my married life, I snacked at night. I ate the sweet stuff. Now I have a 26 year old son who has never eaten a piece of candy in his life. He was chubby as an 11 year old but not from candy or cake. Probably from Pizza. Never saw him pick up a potato chip, or a piece of chocolate. He still doesn't eat candy or chocolate. At age 18, he wanted to go into the army (that never materialized). He went down to the recruitment center, aced all the exams and then they weighed him. He weighed 210 and was 5 feet 8. Then the army guy said "oh we have another criteria to consider. Neck to waist ratio. So they measured his neck and measured his waist. I said "why", and he said 'well you can have a 5 foot 10 body builder who is built like Arnold Shwartzenegger and on paper, he's obese, but his neck and waist ratio is off the charts, so he's not fat, so we accept them.

They told my son to go on Stacker 2. They said 'we put all the guys on this and they lose weight. My son then went out and bought Stacker 2 and lost 40 lbs. By the time this happenend, he no longer wanted to join anything.

He has ultimately left home, been diagnosed with Aspergers, does not work, lives in a virtual world on his computer, and more importantly, now weighs 250 lbs. He still does not eat any chocolate or candy. He lives on microwave breakfasts, lunch and dinner. He will not cook. They used to have him on mood disorder meds (which put on weight), so I can only imagine that this is why he now weighs 250. He is no longer on those meds, he is on wellbutrin and Armour. He had an underactive thyroid. But even the thyroid medicine has not changed his weight.

I was always under the impression that when one has a thyroid problem (his thyroid reading was 10), and they put you on Armour or Synthroid, well, you lose weight. I guess in his case, this is not to be.

Anyway, they say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

I have read where if a person weighs 400 lbs, they should take a photo of themselves in the nude. And then put it on the refrigerator.

Now can you imagine (even if one lives alone), putting a nude photo of oneself on the fridge.

I coudln't do this if someone paid me.

And certainly not, if I lived with a man. Wouldn't want to scare him to death. lol

Melody

My sister had a lap band done last spring and has lost over 40 pounds, but she has lots of probs with food not going down and only able to eat a few teaspoons of food at a time. However, she was prediabetic, her blood pressure was high, and she is the main breadwinner for a large family, so she opted for the lap band. Now she has thin stick legs and still is apple shaped. I think our basic shapes stay the same. However, she is doing well. I can't believe the sacrifice she made, though.

For me, I gained over 50 pounds with my last child and went on WW. The points system works well for me. I also had thyroid problems and am now on synthroid, so I've kind of evened out in that regard.

But the problem is I love to eat too much. So I guess lap band is out.

Good luck,

Struggling along, too

Your right we don't always see ourselves accurate. In my recovery we had to do body tracing. Both sides of people whether they saw themselves bigger then they were or smaller were suprised at what there body actually looked like.
I was thinking of all you at the grocery. Really it is amazing how many different junk foods there are. If you look at kids some look like teens and are 10.
Kebsa could you shop online and then annoying but return if have to? I still have shopping problems I mean even before the pain. It is super hard for me mentally. Now with the pain its like a marathon training.I bought my first swim suit this year since my recovery. It would of been easier to buy a car.So true about learning from example too. I come from a family of eating disorders and retraining my behaviors and focusing on what I need to do to be healthy is very hard. I think really there is no bad foods unless allergic. Everything in moderation. You should write a book kebsa about your journey with a disability and weight. Very inspiring and motivating that you can fight through struggles.