I rescued something from BrainTalk!

Steve · 08-31-2006, 06:14 PM

I don't think it has much diagnostic value, but I thought it was worth saving nonetheless

To streamline patient visits, it appears that an increasing number of neurologists will be moving toward this standardized form:

Quote:

Neurology Partners, LLC.
Streamlined Patient History

SECTION I
VITAL STATISTICS

PLEASE ANSWER EVERY QUESTION IN THIS SECTION. THIS INFORMATION IS ESSENTIAL TO YOUR TREATMENT.

Insurance Company:____________________
Policy Number:________________________
Visa:_____________________Expiration __/__/____
MasterCard:_______________ Expiration __/__/____
Discover:_________________Expiration __/__/____
Diners:___________________Expiration __/__/____
Checking Account Number:______________
Savings Account Number:______________
IRA Account Number:______________
Other Investments:______________
Annual Income:________________
Spouse’s Annual Income:________________
Home Mortgage ID Number: __________
Car Make & Model:_____________ Blue Book Value:_____
Cash in Pocket Today: $_____________
(Include change)

SECTION II
PATIENT COMPLAINTS AND QUESTIONS
DESCRIBE YOUR SYMPTOMS IN DETAIL.
Use a separate piece of paper. Discard.

LIST ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS INSIDE THIS BOX: > [ ]
Please print clearly using large capital letters.

IF YOU HAVE RESEARCH YOU WOULD LIKE US TO READ:
Please leave it in the blue bin by the door marked “Paper Only. No Glass or Plastic.”

SECTION III
DIAGNOSIS
For use by your doctor, RN, or the fax machine girl.

[ ] You have ALS. Unfortunately, I can offer you no treatment for this condition.
[ ] You have MS. Unfortunately, I can offer you no treatment for this condition.
[ ] You have Parkinson’s. Unfortunately, I can offer you no treatment for this condition.
[ ] You have Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately, I can offer you no treatment for this condition.
[ ] You have Peripheral Neuropathy. Unfortunately, I can offer you no treatment for this condition.
[ ] You have Small Fiber Peripheral Neuropathy. Unfortunately, I don’t know what that is.

SECTION IV
CONTACTING YOUR DOCTOR
If you would like to speak with your doctor, call (617) 555-5555 and leave a message for Lisa. Please speak clearly and slowly, as she does not speak a word of English. You will be contacted as soon as your credit card expires.

Thank you for visiting Neurology Partners. We hope your visit was as profitable for you as it has been for us. Even though that’s not too likely.

KTM5665 · 08-31-2006, 06:28 PM

I may need to copy and anon. fax that from a quickprint center, to my neuro! That's cute~

Kitt · 08-31-2006, 06:33 PM

That is cute

Kitt

moose53 · 08-31-2006, 07:22 PM

Hey, Steve. That's a great idea!!

I've always said that you have to go to the doctor with bulleted, short lists. They are trying to fit so many patients in -- especially if you go to a hospital environment, that you tend to forget why you're there unless you write it down and focus both your and your doctor's attention on the list.

It makes for real productive office visits. I used to have the Director of the Women's Health Centre as my doctor and we both wrote things down. She was busy beyond all comprehension. Now that she's gone on to bigger and better things in her career, I've found that the one new doctor that I've seen (and will continue to see) is the one that had the same style of writing everything down.

Hugs. Thanks for sharing.

Barbara

Wing42 · 08-31-2006, 07:29 PM

That's plagerism from the offices of two of the neurologists I saw.

It makes my feet hurt even more.

There's more than an element of truth here. We all have to demand a functional medical system instead of billions spent on pork such as bridges-to-nowhere in Alaska . Email your congress people, senators, and president.

Wheelin Rev · 08-31-2006, 08:01 PM

That's what we filled out at our last appointment!

LOL

nancy-h · 08-31-2006, 09:12 PM

I saw my neuro two weeks ago for my 6 mo. check up. It last all of 10 minutes. I asked for a copy of the clinical notes which came today. It was 3 pages long. I laughed all the way through it and decided I wasn't really there. And the person who played the part of my neuro in this comedy was very funny and apparently NICE! All I can say is that obviously my neuro knew I had asked for a copy this time. My, my she is human after all!

dahlek · 09-01-2006, 07:00 AM

THAT was exactly the kind of thing I'd felt about the forms & treatment from the 1st neuro I'd had...then 'fired'.
I got lucky later on and parts 2-4 no longer apply...Hey! 75% positive is better than 90% of all patients!
Till later - j

MelodyL · 09-01-2006, 09:28 AM

When I saw this thread, I thought it was for real.

I'm reading the form slowly and going. Yeah, yeah, they want your diner's club card and your credit card.
but when I got down to the list of diseases, and I got to where you wrote:
Periphaeral Neuropathy. sorry I can't help you with this.

THEN I KNEW IT WAS A JOKE!!!

I actually read the previous diseases and said to myself "oh this doctor is completely honest and tells people when he can't help them!!!

Oh God, please shoot me in the foot, I am soooooo dumb today!!!!

mel