I agree with you 100%
 

Billye:

The reason I went there was I wanted to see what the heck my son does night and day that so fascinating. He talks about Second Life as if it is better than sliced bread. My son also does not work, is a compulsive gambler and has no work ethic whatsoever. Whether this is because he has Aspergers, or because he's a compulsive gambler, I have no idea and after 5 years, I don't care anymore. Too much pain.

But I also can see where a shy person who has no social experiences could go there and learn. Learn to interact in a virtual world, learn to communicate. There are many many social outcasts in the world. If this site does that, then it can be a very good thing.

But unfortunately in my son's case, it's all consuming, probably because has Aspergers which makes you obsessive.

Anyway, enough about Second Life and all it's sexual mysteries.

Let's hope it helps people and is not all consuming.

I'm doing a post on Alan's mri results and possible surgery.

melody

Forgot to add
 

I forgot to add, I DO NOT have any of the compulsive habits. Only enough curiosity to kill a cat. It's probably what has kept me going this long. Can't stand not knowing what's going to happen next in my life. :D

Billye

I must not be
 

the target market, although I like PC games. To me, SL seems so directionless. And I am getting more low tech the older I get, so as soon they start talking about prims and properties my eyes glaze over.

I've been TPing around looking for money trees. All I found was--well, I'm not going to tell you what I found. It has a very, very tall sign, and the second word is "Booth." You can figure it out.

There's a sex booth?????
 

Where where where?????

lol, melody

Melody's Travelogues
 

Melody - I have to tell you that I have gotten such a kick out of your "travelogue" of your Second Life experiences. I will try it sometime when I am not so tired, but I also have some reservations about doing so. Must be my age.:D

Diana

No monry for Second Life...
 

Sooo.. If you did not give them a credit card number to get some free Linden dollars, then you have zero money to toodle around with... Does this mean, if you ever are able to get signed on, you will have no clothes to wear??? This is NOT good... :)
Cathie

You can design your body for FREE!!
 

Well, I believe I had to put my credit card on file (to prove I'm over 18).
They have never charged me. They offer different accounts. Mine is a free basic.

So when you sign on, you create your avatar. They supply the skin (you can purchase a different skin when you earn Linden Dollars.

But for free, I gave myself boobs like Pamela Anderson Lee, a behind like Jennifer Lopez, legs like Cyd Sharisse (you all remember her, right?)

and hair (well the hair is like Pamela's too).

How do you earn Linden dollars you might be asking.

Well, you go and sit on logs around a campfire and if you stay for 10 minutes you earn two linden dollars. So I stayed for a while.

Then someone came along and I said "I have no lindens" and she gave me 50 right off the bat. For doing nothing but accompanying her to some stupid sex place. I got out of there fast but I had 50 lindens. Then I teleported to some casino and lost it playing slots.

You should get a load of some of the people there. They have designed Avatars (must have cost them plenty, because stores sell skins, costumes, really neat stuff).

There were people there (well they looked like they were going to a grand ball).

Amazing graphics. But honestly after a while, (I mean how much can you type in text to talk to someone) and how much can you fly over waterfalls.

Bored me silly. But that's me. I can see where a tech no geek would be in paradise in some of these worlds.

melody

This was my fourth time on Second Life..
 

and I have fully satisfied my curiousity. All the flying is kinda neat,and changing haircolor and so forth. It is a bit directionless, like zombies just running around from room to room. I went into a dance club and saw some people breakdancing which was very funny. Then I walked into a room where they were typing German,and also typing about sex acts.

Mel, I saw the characters having group sex,and I saw a few of the male characters with very large male body parts running around naked. Then someone types, "does anybody know where I can buy a penis"?

There were some German's on there having cybersex if that's what it's called. Bravo to JL for his smashing success in Cybersex, and the selling male body parts. All I can say is these conversations between the German's having sex, showed up on my computer screen for some reason. I was mortified to see it there and was hoping I could get rid of it,so I closed program off. I don't mind a fantasy world,I don't mind virtual reality. I was very happy to hear this sort of place was to help those who have trouble socialising and so forth. But JL has created a virtual pornographic orgy world for kids with autism??:confused: :confused:

What the HECK?? How can people be banned for talking about politics and illnesses on the old Braintalk forum,but kids can talk dirty and partake in group sex,orgies,and so forth on Second Life?

This is marketed to kids.

After I fell off my chair laughing!!!!!
 

I knew what you mean about buying a penis. I didn't want to post what I saw but you had the guts to do that.

Isn't it the funniest thing when you can go into a virtual store and buy a rectum? And other private areas of your body.

You think this is marketed to kids? I don't think so necessarily. You have to be at least 18 and supply a credit card to join (if you get a basic free account, they don't charge the card). From what I saw, no body under 20 or so would have the tech knowledge, to know about coding, about HUD's, about invisibility shields, and most of all, about S&M. That's not a kid thing. At least I don't think it is. And if it is, god help us all!!!!

Guess where I teleported yesterday?. I typed in dungeon in the search engine and a whole mess of places came up. I thought I would find myself in a place dark and dreary and smoky and people with collars and chains but nooooo.

What I found was a lighted world filled with about 100 devices in a room. All the devices had a pink ball and a blue ball. The women click on the pink (for femails obviously) and the men would click on the blue.

Now I must admit my curiousity got the better of me because I saw gadgets and devices that I had absolutely no idea what would happen.

So guess what happened when I walked (my avatar walked, that is), over to a device with a flame under it. I clicked on the pink ball and all of a sudden my avatar was tied up on the thing over the flame and my avatar became like a roasted pig over a spit. I immediately clicked on "stand up" and kept walking around. Then it hit me 'these are torture devices", for people into masochism, to fulfill their fantasies. I would gather that two people who are into S&M would teleport into this room and one would stand by and watch the other go on different gadgets.

Maybe it's safer for people to indulge these fantasies in Second Life than to perpetrate them on people in real life?

I never, in all my life, saw such things. And I'm 59. Imagine being 20 and going into Second Life.

Something to think about.

melody

I really don't have enough curiosity to go to this 2nd life place (I had enough computer problems with my 'passing interest' in the XX sites when I was younger & first got a computer in '95). But are you saying that JL designed a site that is for autistcs and troubled kids- that has sex rooms? Graphic sex rooms? & for free !?
That doesn't make any sense to me.
Weird people and deviants pay mucho $$ on credit cards to go to XXX pervert sites- this could get out of hand quickly.
How do you have moderators for such places- where anything goes?
A big "trouble, Will Robinson"

Hi everyone :). I'm also a member of SL and have been for a couple of years now. I've yet to encounter as Melody and as Aussie99 have while visiting SL.

I joined not long after JL announced its founding at OBT - and shortly after I was dx'd with Asperger's (as an adult). I'm a member of Brigadoon, which is a private island and it is totally "G" rated.

Admittedly, it deeply saddens me to see how SL (and Brigadoon) have been characterized - here.

So that people do know: JL didn't create SL or "virtual" sex havens within SL. He works for Linden Labs, which created SL. And, JL has never behaved inappropriately (in a sexually suggestive manner) - that I've ever seen.

The sexual content, etc., in SL is restricted to "Mature" regions in SL; it's not system-wide. People choose to visit those regions, and the same applies to the regions that offer gambling and so on.

This article was written earlier this year; it offers a glimpse into Brigadoon:

Autism community forges virtual haven

The only inaccuracy I see (in the above article) is my age; I declined to provide that, since SL also has its TOS and members are not required to disclose data about ourselves - that could ID us in RL; the reporter took a "guess." (My member name - "Rain" - is derived from a nickname that my RL friends gave me.)

SL doesn't create addictions. I've currently $L 24,000 in my account - and that's the balance after having raised and re-directed donations for Brigadoon, ShockProof and BT.

What do I do in SL? Some is described in the article.

I've also participated in Educational Faires - by helping set up and "man" the areas respective of Asperger's and Brigadoon.

Because Brigadoon is a private island, and none of my RL friends are also Aspies, I bumped my basic account to a premium - to buy land. A few of my RL friends joined SL - being supportive of me and of others with Asperger's. We "meet" on that land and it bridges a gap; we live far apart so, in a sense, it's a way to get to "see" each other and interact through synchronous chat.

Periodically, Brigadoon has an "open house," and its members are invited to ask others to attend :). It's not a secret society, but the island does provide a safe haven... free from prejudice and ridicule.

I'm not a lone individual in SL; I know a number of people who don't use SL for its "sexual" content/activity. One, for instance, is a cardiopulmonary specialist - a doctor. His use of SL is for relaxation and creating.

To me, SL is not only a viable tool for socialization, it also facilitates creativity - much as do the modules used in design school, which I'm attending (thinking that design can provide a relief from working in computer forensics and encountering a barrage of criminals.)

SL is member-driven/dependent. The content (objects and text) exist, in large part, based on what members do in SL. And, in turn, SL is what each member makes it; the experience is also member dependent.

:)

I think
 

some things are getting very mixed up here.

First, JL did not design SL. He bought and designed a space within second life. I haven't seen it, yet.

Second, many of the parts of SL are rated PG, and you can be banned from them for even talking dirty.

Third, a bunch of reputable universities have SL campuses, where real online learning takes place. Harvard even has one, somewhere.

It's a big wide world, just like the real one. I have some beefs with JL, but I don't want to see him slandered through simple misunderstanding.

Of course the thought does come to mind: Maybe a bunch of us should hunt down his avatar on SL sometime and gang up on him!

I think a lot of the curiosity here about Second Life--
 

--comes from the feeling many of us have of being "jilted" by Braintalk's founder, and curiosity at what possibly could be more interesting or compelling to him than the Braintalk boards.

That being said, yes, SL, as a virtual world is just like the real world--good points, bad points, wonder, mischief, fantasy, absurdity, kinkiness, truthful and not-so-truthful self-presentations--though one can change the latter much more quickly, and with much better graphics. :D

Thank you Steve and Glenntaj :). I totally understand what you've relayed and also relate to the feelings of disappointment, etc., that evolved when OBT crashed :(.

What hurts is the innuendo - wild guesses - about Brigadoon and its members, suggesting (oh, I mean, asking if) we might be participating in some type of virtual orgies because we "can't get any" in Real Life. The hint of that is unfounded and, in no way, reality-based.

Just as there is more to existence than sex in RL, so, too, is there more to our involvement within SL and Brigadoon :cool:.

Hi, Aussie99,

It was only recently (within the past few months, I think) that SL opened a "Teen Grid," and it is specifically for teens, not adults and not adult "sexual" content/context.

Aside from Linden Lab employees whom oversee the activities (in the teen grid) and assure that adults are not infiltrating the grid or preying on teens, adults are not permitted. Linden Lab has very strict TOS respective of the grid and its uses, which are enforced if a problem presents itself.

Conversely, teens are not permitted in the adult grid (whether the regions are rate GP or Mature).

This isn't correct:

"But JL has created a virtual pornographic orgy world for kids with autism??"

Please see my other post(s). The only way that teens are permitted in Brigadoon is with the direct authorization, participation and supervision of a parent, guardian or care-provider. Teens aren't allowed to Teleport to any adult Region, yet they can also join the Teen Grid.


Bob,

Just as there are admins. here and at other forums on the Net, Brigadoon also has admins. :). It's not a free-for-all or "anything goes" environment.



Please... don't associate the "sexual" stuff with Brigadoon, ShockProof (for stroke survivors and supportive people) or Live2Give (for people with Cerebral Palsy) - or with JL. It's not right.

:)

Hi Bobbi:

I've posted about my experiences in Second Life and many people have enjoyed my travelogues (as they put it).

I joined because my son who has Aspergers, lives on Second Life, day and night. He has no interest in Brigadoon. I told him about it. I wish he would go there. Maybe he has but when I mentioned it to him, he couldn't care less.All he does is gamble there.

You are right when you said that Second Life is good for socialization. If it helps people, then it's a good thing.

The Sex part of it, well, I didn't know about that and when I found it out, I laughed so hard and just shared my adventures in this forum.

I never bashed Second Life so please do not think I did.

I am glad that you are content in Second Life's Brigadoon.

All the best
melody

Bobbi,
Thankyou once again for helping to correct the misinformation and misrepresentations that have been voiced on this thread since it was started.

It is appreciated.
Lara

((( Melody )))

I'd heard from others about the sex happenings in SL; maybe it's because I deal with so much disgusting work-related stuff that I've not ventured to encounter as you have firsthand. I can see how unsuspecting people, such as yourself, could stumble into it. Too me that's stuff, it's just ... well ... I don't know what to make of it, to be honest.

I've got better ways I wanna spend my money :D.

Maybe when SL has another open house, your son might consider visiting B. It's better seen - and experienced - that any description I could provide; I'm sure I've not done it justice, since words really can't adequately convey all that it encompasses.

If you want to see a different side of SL when you're logged in, feel free to drop me a message. My SL user name, in full, is: Rainmaiden Fairplay.

As I mentioned, long before I knew I had AS, my friends were calling me "Rain." One of my professors had said that I reminded him of the Dustin Hoffman character from ... what movie ;). I hadn't seen the movie and he suggested I do so. (When working in publishing, without looking, I knew the names, addresses and telephone numbers of subscribers off the top-of-my-head. I thought it was nice to have that address book lodged in my brain :D.) And, still, with work, my colleagues comment about how I retain info. Guess we know now how so that happens.

My favorite aspect of SL, Melody, is Mountain Surfing... standing on the edge of a mountain top - at B. - and surfing down in my bunny slippers. Maybe I can take you mountain surfing some time.


Lara, I think that Melody and others who've joined and visited SL are giving accurate descriptions about what they've experienced. Where the misunderstandings come into the picture is what others are mistakenly reading into it.

I just wanted to explain a bit about B., and the other Isles I'm familiar with so that people aren't mistakenly thinking that B. members or JL are directly involved with the "sex dens" and stuff of that nature :).

When I first joined, I was still feeling shy about people I don't know very well knowing about the AS, and JL did offer the safety-net of not exposing ourselves to anything that could inadvertently hurt anyone (there is still a stigma attached to the AS dx, which is why so many adults are undiagnosed - by choice). He encouraged the use of nyms - if we chose so that our RL existence couldn't be harmed in any way.

Since I've self-outted (here and other places), the following links to more about my time in SL:

http://braintalk.blogs.com/brigadoon...sts/index.html

Yeah, thanks Bobbi. I was aware of that too :)

Ok, firstly I apolgise for voicing my discovery.
 

I am most certain that Second Life is fantastic for many people. But I have to back-up Mel's discoveries because I also experienced them for myself. There is XXX sex there,bondage,torture,origies,and alot of very dirty talk. I saw it, I heard it,and I may have some problems but my eyes and ears work fine.

I cannot say it didn't happen when it did. I am sure there is plenty of G rated areas there too,as I saw those first. And probably more good bits that I have yet to discover.There are also plenty of XXX rated areas and eventually you may end up there if you follow someone or teleport

I joined for free,never provididng my credit card details. All I had to do was type in by date of birth showing I am over 18,and the the rest is carte blanche. Realistically a 14 year old,can join with a false date of birth.

But I am sure if you type in that you were 14, there would probably be limited access to some area.

But because a person can register many times as different characters too,I think it would be naive to think that teeagers are not findind there way to the XXX rooms. There's many parts of the sight that are "Highly Pornographic", no different than any other sort of porn.

If you enjoy Second Life (for whatever reason),more power to you, & that's your business and perogative. It's not my place to offer moral judgments on what adult people should and should not do. I am positive I haven't even experienced the other 95% of what the sight offers.I am certain that SL offers all you say it offers. But the fact remains it's also has plenty hardcore sex,slaves,bondage and the like.;) My ONLY concern was that children (teenagers) would end up in those rooms.

Bobbi, I also do not beleive I said nor implied that all SL members have orgies & sex on SL because they can't get any in real life. If someone else said that, than I can understand how it would be upsetting. But there was nothing in my post about that.

I've merely expressed what my concern was, you don't have to agree with me, but you should allow me the opprotunity to also have an opinion.

Some people like coffee, I prefer tea.. Neither is wrong but!

Hi, Aussie99 :). Linden Labs has safeguards in place re: teens' use of SL.

A parent can request info. about his/her child's account activity:

Account Activity Request

Too, SL offers safety info. for parents and teens; I didn't check out the info. for teens, since I'm not one, yet is available :).

While it is possible for teens to work-around the safeguards that are in effect, it's also entirely possible for a parent to find out by, e.g., requesting info. about activity on their credit card in SL.

SL requires a credit card to sign up "for verification only":

http://secondlife.com/whatis/plans.php

It takes more than a birth date to create an account in SL.

A teen can say he or she is 14, yet he or she still would not be able to go beyond the teen grid.


This is not true:

"What the HECK?? How can people be banned for talking about politics and illnesses on the old Braintalk forum,but kids can talk dirty and partake in group sex,orgies,and so forth on Second Life?"

I don't know how you arrived at that, Aussie99, but, again, it's your opinion.

Dearest Bobbi,
 

I only wish I could get my point across...:rolleyes:

Mel & I joined for free, there was no verification or proof of age process. One merely just types in their DOB,and agrees that they are over 18, for the very basic account. This is not my idea of a safeguard.

I am also not very computer savvy, and didn't see any of this high security you speak of.

I am 34 right now, but when I was 14,15,16 and so on.. my parents were to busy to be minding me every moment of everyday. I don't think that every parent is switched on enough to examine the computer usage of their kids.
My friend has a 16 year old son,and she said that he is in his room all weekend on the computer. "Doing what I say?"

"I just told you, on the computer, she said"!:cool:

You may be right,and if so I recant that JL created a virtual orgy world. But somebody has created a Virutal world, with a sub-world that just so happens to also have orgies. Be it Linden Labs, be it JL, be it whomever..

The fact remains that what I experienced last night, was exactly what I wrote about.

But I also do not wish to beat a dead horse anymore.I feel I have expressed not merely an opinion,but my experience on Second Life. I feel to continue on any longer about a sight I have no desire to ever visit again is pointless. I apologise to you Bobbi,and that is all I can say...

I don't doubt what your experience was, Aussie99 :).

Please click on the links in my post and that's where you'll see the safeguards about which I wrote :cool:.

For as long as I've been a member, people have had to give a credit card number to join - even the basic/free membership.

Melody also mentioned having to give a credit card:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...5&postcount=47

I genuinely apologize if my posting has upset you or anyone. I only wanted to relay a perspective that hasn't been shared in this thread - from another member of SL and one of Brigadoon.

I'll butt out now and let people think as they wish.

I read your links Bobbi..
 

I am sure that an active parent is able to monitor the usage of a kids account. I promise I joined completely for free, without giving any credit card details.

Why would you provide credit card details for a free membership?

Beleive it or not, I have never purchased anything,joined anything, or sent away for anything that has required me to supply my credit card details. basically my husband told me not to ever do it,and I have respected that. So I wouldn't have supplied second Life with any details at all. I beleive I used my maiden name as well when I joined, instead of my married name too.

But once again, we need to just let this be.. I respect you Bobbi,and I am glad that there are places like Second Life,Braintalk and so forth for people to get together,communicate and so on. And when we care about something very much it hurts to have someone say that they experieneced it differently. I think that's what may have happened here,and that is why I would like not to speak of it anylonger. Second Life is not worth enough to me, to upset you over it,or whomever else. I would much rather keep my opinions to myself, especially since I do not plan on visisting there anymore. With a full time job,kid,PN,anxiety,herniated discs,HBP,and insomnia..Second Life is the least of my worries!!:D

((( Aussie99 ))) if you may change your mind about visiting SL some time, let me know, and the invite I made to Melody stands for you, as well :D. (You can look me up by my SL name: Rainmaiden Fairplay.) We can do some activities that are far more mundane than what you and she have seen in SL, I promise.

It's not a bad place to visit (some areas), but I wouldn't want to "live" there :cool:.

Then the parent is NOT doing things SMART.

1) TAKE the computer OUT of the bedroom and put it in the family room where it can be seen.

2) Position the computer so that the monitor can be seen if you JUST walk by it. And do so OFTEN.

3) Learn kidspeak:
A parent's primer to computer slang
Leet
SafeKids.com
Internet Safety

4) Learn how to use the history feature of your browser. Firefox has a feature that allows you to see EVERY SINGLE page visited for the last few days. The new Microsoft Vista will even have parental controls built in.

But to not know what their kid is doing...no way. My now 21 year old daughter had to LET me read whatever she had on the computer WHENEVER I felt like it til she turned 18. Liz

Liza Jane, I think that a lot more peope are being aware of this forum now, just noticed over 1,000 views on this thread alone.
Brian :)

I did the sign up part to see about it for myself.
I didn't download the program.

I found that-

You only need to give credit card info if you want to get any Linden $$ at the start. I gave NO credit card info.

A kid could easily "fib" about a name and age to register there.

any valid email addy

that's all I saw - in the process of registering.

Thank you, Aussie99 and also Jo55 for pointing out that you were able to sign up without a credit card. The purpose in requiring one was for age verification, and, if someone later chose to bump an account to own land, which also increases a stipend.

To me, it is really important that you pointed this out (since, from the time I joined, as I mentioned, I've only seen that a card is required). I don't know if this is a turn in the sign up to entice new members or what it is, but ... I think it's something, too, that L. Labs should reverse and set back in motion the card requirement.

I work my beeeeehind off in RL to better ensure protection for children from online predators, and, as I've even mentioned to some in SL, there is a region I choose not to visit since it uses a name that is one I also know (too well) perps use for a bogus "church" to promote their agenda. The name of the region itself just conjures too much, and I don't want to make associations that don't "fit."

Believe me: I will be asking L. Labs about the hole in age verification.

I also appreciate Southernlady's posting :). We're on the same page, so-to-speak :D.

I actually believe we all are, only our experiences in SL differ.

How it was for me: After I went through the orientation (in SL and just learning how to navigate about), I teleported straight to Brigadoon and stayed there for a while.

Once my comfort zone was in-check, I ventured a little, yet it was to the areas that offer "free" stuff, like furniture. And, from the day I created my avatar, I've only changed it once; I used a "skin" someone gave me, only it didn't feel right. Since that time, I've retained the "look" I chose.

Tomorrow, I'll do a hands-on approach, as well, to registering a new account to see what is required. The concept of no age verification is just foreign to me.

Whatever takes place in regions outside of Brigadoon, Shockproof and Live2Give... just has no bearing on the 3 islands where I've spent time.

I am, at the end of the day, receptive of learning from others and also being honest about my SL experience :).


Editing to add: The region to which I alluded that I won't visit due to how I've seen the same name used outside of SL is that... in SL, I'm not there to "work," but just have some fun and be able to "see" people whom are friends in RL, too :). Maybe I am naive for entrusting that L. Labs will make sure that no one is preying on teens - and I will speak up if something is not right in the verification process :).

Parents aren't handed a manual or required to attain a "license" before giving birth, and folks can offer Net safety ideas until blue in the face, yet... too, I also didn't sign up or permit minor-age person to do so for using SL. But: responsibility still starts at the premise. If someone is offering teen access, then, it needs to be assured that no one violates.

For tonight, I have to let this go, or I will stay awake all night checking everything out :(.

Thanks Bobbi for that post- I am glad you will look into that further.

I don't know how they will really be able to verify or prevent minors from accessing those certain areas - evan a credit card can be "borrowed" for a short time - unless it is followed up with a letter to the card holder??
So then a parent or adult?? would at least know it was used to access SL or any other site??

I also don't know what the solution is to the age verification processes that may enable L. Labs to, definitively, ensure that teens are just that and not accessing the "adult-oriented" stuff that has been described in this thread :(. Possibly, it's what you mentioned, Jo55 - a letter addressed for parental verification. That would suit meeee :D.

I do know this, though: What had (formerly) been in place as a potential measure of verification has changed - done away with :(. I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep until I saw it for myself, and, thus, I did sign up for an account, and zero verification was required. (Too, in all candor, when I also first joined SL, basic accounts also had a sign-up fee.)

Is it progress?

As far as encouraging adults to sign up, yes. But... to have no checks-and-balances on the age verification of teens is very distressing to me, as it is to others. To access the following, one has to be a member of SL and logged in:

SL members discussing age verification:
http://forums.secondlife.com/showthread.php?t=145573

A general search of the forums re: age verification:
http://forums.secondlife.com/search....archid=1936034

The upside is: People are discussing the topic. Yet... I believe it has to go further than "talk" and I also believe in corporate responsibility ;).

I may know computers, yet I also know that there are teens and others far more savvy than I - and ... :eek: How's a parent to request info. about a his or her teen's use of SL when nothing is required from parents during the sign-up process. Hmmm :(.

I've got to get some sleep tonight, and will think through my thoughts over the weekend, yet I will approach L. Labs with my thoughts on this, and they are not happy thoughts.

Hi Bobbi

I am so glad that you have verified this for yourself, that teens can sign up and access anywhere that a free account will take them (which is waaaaaaaaay too far) in SL:eek:

It would also be very naive of us to think for one moment that today's computer whiz kids dont know the ins and outs of accessing websites that are designated adult only. They know a lot more about computers and cyberspace than most adults do!

I wasnt going to comment directly here,as I realise this IS a sensitive issue for many people and for many and varied reasons...... but since you have seen the ease of sign up for yourself, I will

My teen son and I have a very open relationship and I casually asked him if he or his friends had ever played an online game called Second Life
He looked at me like I was an alien and said NO, he hadnt but Yes, he knew other kids who spend a lot of time there and that he didnt think it was a game I would want him to be involved in. When I asked why, his initial response was "sounds like a dumb game", but then he elaborated some on what others had told him, and I had no doubt that what Aussie and Melody were describing was true.:( and that it is a major talking point for kids!
(ps Southern Lady, yes, I know he hasnt been there cuz I do know how to monitor activity on the computer!)

I am VERY concerned about minors being exposed to stuff that can affect them forever, as well as being preyed upon by adults, whether directly or virtually:mad:

I am glad you will raise these concerns Bobbi, but in truth, my fear is that the commercialization of SL that I read about in that Boston Globe article cited a few pages ago,makes me very doubtful that the free sign up process will be changed.
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/liv...a_double_life/

I hope I am wrong.

Hi Chemar:
 

This is what you said:

"(ps Southern Lady, yes, I know he hasnt been there cuz I do know how to monitor activity on the computer"

My response: "do you know what he is doing when he goes to a friend's house?".

This, in no way, means that he is going on Second Life. It means that he has the ability to go on Second Life withou you being aware of it.

Today, with all the computer stuff, parents who are not computer literate (there ar many where I live), do not have a clue what their kids are doing on the computer.

An example (and believe me, it's a whopper), the kid next door to me was 6 when the family moved in. He had behavior problems from the beginning.
The dad, was a young dad with another kid. No mom. The great grandmother raised them. Believe me, the great grandmother wouldn't know a computer from a nintendo.

So they buy Anthony a comuter when he about 12. Of course they would call me in to explain everything for them and hook it up and get him on AOL.

I mistakenly gave him my AOL e-mail and for a long time, he would intant message me and send me inapropriate emails. I cornered his father one day and said "John, you have no on idea what Anthony is doing on the computer". He said "Melody, he's on a computer, what's the big thing?".

I changed my e-mail and that nonsense stopped but one day when he was 14 they called me in because his computer wouldn't work. They rarely went into his bedroom where the computer was. What was on the walls of his room almost got me sick. All kinds of porn. and he was 14. I immediately told his father who started yelling and I put a block on his computer (don't remember what I did to put the block on). But Anthony was so smart and he bragged to me that he got around it and besides, he could always go to his friend's house when the parents were at work and they could do whatever they wanted on the computer. This kid had no sense of moral values whatsoever. Bad bad stuff.

Everybody in the neighborhood couldn't stand him and they were afraid of him. Me? I always was especialy nice to him because he scared me and I wasn't about to be on his bad side.

So what's the ending of the story? Last week, Alan and I were coming home from a morning breakfast out, and we ran into John (Anthony is 17 now).

I asked John "So John, did Anthony ever get that job you were trying to get him"? He looked at me with a sadness and said "Hasn't it been quiet around here lately, you haven't seen Anthony around have you?" I said "what are you talking about?" and he says "Anthony is in jail, he pulled a knife on 5 chinese people who drove around with the cops, they ID'd my son and they have him on surveillance. He's been charged with 5 counts of armed robbery".

I just had a flashback to all the crazy bad stuff he did all his life and John would alway say "Oh, I did bad stuff too, but I turned out all right".

I said "john, what's going to happen to him"? John said "well, they are holding him on $30,000 bail, and I could raise that tomorrow if I wanted to but Anthony is where he needs to be". I went up on the porch and put my arms around him and said "From one parent to another, you need a hug".

Alan just stood there with his mouth open (we lost our son too but not to the prison system). No one on the block knows about my son. We are very private and you just don't go around announcing that you have a son with a mental illness.

I told John. "don't bail him out, he needs to learn a lesson, and this could be the BIG one". He said "but Melody, he doesn't seem remorseful at all, we tried to get the National Guard to take him but they don't want him ".

I wonder why???????????????

So this is what I get from what I'm observed about parents, computers, not being home. Kids will do whatever they want to do. parents have no clue.
It's just that simple. Unless you shadow a kid 24 hours a day, you have to just depend on the values you brought him up with and hope that they stayed in his brain.

But once he goes out in the world and hangs out with parollees, and steals cars, etc. etc. (Anthony did this). well, I guess you don't have a shot.

Very scary what is going on today.

Sorry to deviate from PN but every time I open a paper, all I see is this kid got arrested for this and that and there's a parent crying out loud "My son couldn't have knifed this kid, he's a good boy, he wouldn't that, I know my son".


In fact we would like to think we know everything about our children, but sadly that sometimes is not the case.

Times they are a-changing.

I promise, no more depressing stories. Only funny ones.

Oh the requip did absolutely nothing for Alan last night. He took one 0.5 at 11. was awake with tingling till 12. Took an 0.25 then. helped a bit. I had to massage him all over. finally fell asleep. It was raining cats and dogs and the barometer was nuts. Do you think that affected the requip working?

melody

Just an anecdote.
I have a 20 y.o. (my #3 son) who's now in college. when he was in H.S. we got him a laptop for school work, He'd have the laptop in his room (the family desktop is in the D.R.- traffic by it from L.R. to Kitchen, constantly- monitor in full view. He would sign in to his school system and go from there to anywhere he wanted, He had a blocked ISP account name that was under AOL's parental controls, but he found a way to get into the net without using AOL at all. I still don't know how he did it. I always thought you had to sign in using an ISP to get to the net. He got around that- somehow.
As I said, he's a 3rd yr college student now and never seemed to go any of the 'bad ways'- but I still wonder how he was able to access the net without using our (blocked) ISP (AOL).

Requip
 

Hi Melody - it possibly could have - although I don't know how. I find my PN is worse when the weather changes and like you, we had rain, rain, and more rain last night. I hope tonight will be better for him. Another thing I have tried when I could not sleep and seemed to work pretty good was Advil PM. The Tylenol PM did absolutely nothing for me, but the Advil did. Just a thought.

Diana

Oh, I never thought of Advil PM

I shall tell Alan.

Thanks so much Diana.

Regards,

melody

Hi Melody

yes, you are correct, and that is why I posted that piece about how it would be so very naive to think that kids today dont know how to go anywhere on the web that they want to

and yes, I wouldnt know what my son did at other people's homes, except for the fact that he actually prefers to have his friends come here, which is a BIG relief for mom:o ..........and yes, I am thankful that he has chosen his friends well, and also has this amazingly open relationship with me (and dad). I dont know if it is related to his TS/OCD or just in his nature, but he does feel comfortable to tell us stuff (sometimes more than I wanna know;) ) and I am honored that he feels he can be so direct with me.

I do feel it is SO important for parents to be very involved in their kids lives! Yes, we cant police them 24/7 and I really wouldnt want to do that, they have to learn and they have to grow as individuals, and develop their own responsibility, often by trial and error
But we can give them those solid foundations that hopefully will help them make the right choices, and especially let them always remember that we are not just their parents, but also their best friends

:)

Melody , Does Alan have myofascial pain also?
Triggerpoints or muscle spasms?

The weather really affects those types of things.

If the Internet industries
 

really wanted a reasonably secure form of age verification, we'd have it. Face it, we have no privacy today anyway. The NSA listens to your phone calls (yes, yours). Homeland Security will put a hold on your credit card account if you make an unusually large payment, such as paying off your balances (happened to two schoolteachers in Jersey). And anytime you use the Internet, you leave a trail behind for all to see. So, I just don't believe there isn't room for big improvement.

That said, it comes back to personal and parental responsibility. Every time there's a bad story, there's an outcry to "clean up" the entire Web to make it safe for five year olds. That applies not only to "adult" sites, but to photos of Abu Graib, clinical discussions of sexuality and health, political blogs where people occasionally use cusswords, and so on. That's ridiculous.

While it's impossible to do everything, I'm amazed at the number of parents who do nothing. They buy their kids a computer, let him put it in his bedroom instead of a public place, never even try to limit access, and never discuss the responsibilities that come with having a PC.

Come to think of it, when I was growing up, every new privelege came with an annoying lecture about responsibility. Today, I guess those parents who don't take responsibility for themselves can't teach it to their kids.

it's not just at home where they have access steve. they have them in the school. these kids are pretty dang smart. the schools are fooling themselves if they think the one little program they install keeps the kids safe or off the sites they should go on.