My PN is not so disabling that I can't work, its the complications from sleep disruption and the side effects of drugs--foggy brain, slow thinking, poor recall--that concern me. I'm not doing my best work, that's for sure, and the pain does cloud my thinking (have FMS too). I noticed that my boss has been pulling me off the front lines more and more and giving me desk tasks. I don't have the courage to ask if its because of my mistakes. For much of my 30-year career I have been very stressed by the politics in the workplace, and at times hated my job, but work does give meaning to our lives and by working in health care I take some comfort in seeing that my condition is nothing compared to that of many of my patients. Of course the loss of income would hurt, though I could possibly have some disability insurance. I'm just wondering how you know when "its time". While my doctors have expressed concern about my mounting symptoms, they never want to venture into the work question. My partner is very concerned about my not working. Your thoughts are appreciated.

Well a few years ago when my PN first came on...it was bad! I was very low emotionally and also taking a ton of meds that messed with my brain and caused horrific side-effects. I then started having bad panic attacks and I could barely function. I kept working, my job was flexible at the time. I realised that reality is perception. If people at work perceived me as being very ill than every mistake I made or choice they didn't like would somehow be linked to my illness. I work with a lady who has MS, and they blame everything on her MS.

Anyways 3 and a half years later I can almost function normally on most days,and I learned to cope better on the days that I don't. My greatest problem is the side effects of the meds I am on.

If your biggest problem is sideeffects from meds, consider possibly switching your meds around. this may bring some relief to you.Also talk to your doctor and be honest about the side effects.

I noticed that if i ate a breakfast & lunch that was high in protien is one thing that gave me a boost, carbs seem to relax me to much, another is drinking plenty of water especially in the mornings seemed to clear the fogyness out of the brain, another thing to get me more alert was taking a couple of multi B vitamins at breakfast time and another one at lunch time, worked for me
Oh, one other thing was just a medium pace walk for about 10 minutes used to get my motor running a bit better.
good luck
Brian

I seriously thought about quitting... actually got laid off during a company wide lay off because it was during the first six months of my diagnosis. I was still adjusting to my meds, not sleeping well at night, falling asleep at my desk, etc.

I took six months off, adjusted to my meds, got my health back in check and am back to work. However, I did take a less stressful position. I am making about 10% less money, but the decrease in stress keeps my illness in check.

I enjoy working now and believe me, there are days I HATE getting up in the morning. However, I know if I stayed home every day I would be feeling sorry for myself and being much less productive.

If you could find a way to get your doctor to give you a temporary leave, to get things "adjusted", then come back to a less stressful position, it might be better for you.... but only you know what you can handle!

I admit, I get frustrated when I try to do things I used to and I feel like an idiot because I forget things, or I am much slower at them than I used to be. I used to be the "boss", and now am an employee of someone who is younger than my kids! It's all a matter of perspective... if you don't mind, it don't matter!

Good Luck!

Moving in the direction of alleviating conflict is essential.
Absence of stress will do wonders, both physically and emotionally.
Stress is a major factor relating to PN, & successfully coping with it
changes your outlook, decidedly.
Stress is the enemy of PN. It makes it worse,
no doubt about it.

I have to add - that this is right for any kind of stress.

A year ago I was struggling to make it to work everyday and had set a goal to at least make it to January (It was my 10 years at this job). Here I am a year later and doing so much better at managing my pain that I plan to keep on working as long as I can. I think people are right that you need to relieve as much stress as you can and contiue talking with your doctor until you come up with the right combination of pain medications. The last change my doctor made on my medication has greatly improved my outlook on life.

Thanks for all your thoughtful replies. Yes, I too used to be the boss, and now I'm working for dummies. Hard to swallow that one, but this illness forces us to be humble. I have reduced my hours to two days a week, when there is more staff around, and shorter shifts. My job is very intense and ever-changing so being away for a period of time would mean losing track of too much. Seems the choice is hang in there or don't do it at all. Hard to know what role stress is playing, but I definitely feel more pain the evening after work days.

I wonder which is clouding my mind the most--the drugs or the PN. Can't seem to go off the drugs long enough to really know. I do recall that when I was on Neurontin for a long time then stopped taking them for a week for a sleep test, I had a heck of a time sleeping, but then once I adapted I felt really alive! Numbs the brain for sure. I'm on Lyrica now so I'm not sure if that's the same numbing effect. I just know I feel very unmotivated and anxious--and ouchy.

'........I wonder which is clouding my mind the most--the drugs or the PN.......'

I don't think PN affects the mind.
It is a neurological disease of the peripheral nerves. Far from the brain.
But the pain can affect the ability to think straight, or clearly.
Then there definitely are the different meds that do affect the thinking speed, and can cloud the mind.
('The Shadow, knows' ...mmwwahahaha.....!)

I think I have hit the end of the road with my career. Just a year ago the credit union I work for as the collector had the smallest delinquency rate in the state. Of course my kid CEO took all the credit, in my yearly review I was called too agressive with my right to cure letters and picking up repos. I was mad about that...but I backed off. Then what happens, our economy crashes and is burning as we speak. By the time I was told I was slacking and not performing my job as was expected I was buried in delinquencies, I was called on the carpet and dressed down and told my hours would only be necessary for 15 hours a week. That was a month ago, most of my job is outsourced now but I managed to keep myself at 32 hours a week. I got very emotional and cried alot of tears, I have always excelled in the workplace.
This morning I was late coming into work, my daughter called hysterical that she thought my grandson had relapsed with his leukemia, I went to the clinic to be with them and I am thanking God tonight that my grandson only has chicken pox. I get to work and my supervisor has been pacing because I didn't show up for the 8:00 meeting I didn't know we were having. It was my yearly review, I was told I was careless, disorganized, shied away from interactions with my co-workers, didn't show up in the evening for employee gatherings, but I am a vauled employee and I have built strong relationships with the members......I sat and cried, they value me? I told him I didn't think so, and then he drops the bomb that new guy has been promoted to VP of Collections. I called my neuro on my lunch hour, still waiting for the return call, but I think its time to cut to the chase and go out on disability. THE STRESS IS AWFUL-in the last month I've started to have my little toe ache but when I touch it no pain, the pads of my feet ache all the time. I fell and did splits going into a store two weeks ago and my back is agony, rolling out of bed in the morning is a real feat. I wake up two hours before I shower so I can get my cocktail of drugs down so I can stand in the shower and drag myself of to work, in fact I don't think I could work without them. I'm not a candidate for a new hire anywhere else and frankly I hate going to my job, I keep feeling the axe is going to fall. I can't afford to quit, unless my neuro takes me out of service, then I have disability insurance and then head off to fight for SSI. This is not where I saw myself at 52, I am sad, hurt, angry, and I can't get anyone to understand chronic pain. I told my boss that once I finish dinner and sit down the burn begins and there is no way I can go bowling, watch Monday night football, etc.......I am wiped out and yet my raise was dinged b/c I don't go. I will miss a couple of people, but frankly I am working in the worst chemistry I've ever come across and it's toxic as all get out.
Okay, I have vented, now I just need you all to tell me I am doing the right thing by walking away from the work force and focusing on family and health. Just give me your input, I could use a friend or two...right now. Thanks all my partners in pain!!!!