Hi. This is off topic, but honestly, I don't know anyone else to ask and you guys know A GREAT DEAL!!! so maybe someone can give me a good answer.

This is what has been happening to me. Because I'm diabetic, a few years ago, I decided to get healthy and went to Cornell, and blah,blah,blah, changed everything about myself. AND I MEAN EVERYTHING!!!

I now look completely different than I ever did. I moved to my neighborhood 14 years ago weighing about 275. My landlord once told me that everybody on the block walked over to her and asked "whose the fat couple moving in?" Alan (who had just started have PN, weighed about the same). We were big people. She actually told me this and said "People didn't know why I rented to so fat a couple". (nice huh??).

So I got to know the neighbors and ultimately they got to know us and we became friendly, sitting on porches in the evening, just chatting.

Well, Alan and I DON'T LOOK LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!! I wish I had old fat pictures to show you but I don't have a scanner and I can't do that. But you see what we look like now.

Do you have any idea what it is like to be standing in front of your house when your neighbor runs across the street and says to you. "my god, Alan looks so fragile, what's wrong with him"?. I just look at them completely speechless and sometimes I say "his doctor is pleased that he lost the weight". Well, if you think that stops them in their tracks, forget it" And they all know he has neuropathy. We've discussed this with our neighbors because some are diabetic and they have neuropathy.

And some of these people are fat, skinny, married, not married, from all walks of life, so there is no common denominator. This happens all the time.

Now, let's get to the point where this applies to me. You will absolutely not believe what someone said to me. !!!!!! And more than once.

One of my friends told me "you better stop losing weight, your face is looking haggard". Now really, look at my avatar. I look haggard???? I don't think so.

But the real problem is I don't know how to respond to these people. I would never go up to a formerly obese person and say "oh my god, you look awful, you look haggard, stop losing weight". I always say "oh my god, how terrific you look and their face just brightens up!!!!

Now here's what happened to me recently. I was leaving my house at 9 a.m. to go out to breakfast with Alan. Now it was not 6 a.m. or 7 a.m. it was 9 A.M.!! I had bought some skinny clothes years ago (when I weighed 275), thinking to myself (and we've all done this), "oh some day I'll fit into this".
Well, that day has come and I have a new hairdo to go along with it.
So I got dressed nice and did my hair and makeup and I walk out of my house and I was hit with "where on earth are you going with makeup on", who are you trying to impress?" Now I had a jogging suit on that I bought over 10 years ago but never wore before. And I had eye makeup and lipstick and my hair was done. I looked like my avatar.

I just looked at this person and said "I beg your pardon". because I have no idea how to reply to back-handed compliments. Oh, the person who said this is a neighbor who never wears anything but a house-dress. Do you think I said to her "why are you always wearing a house-dress? Of course not.

so I just stood there and looked at her and said "oh I have to go".

Honestly, I have no idea how to respond to these people. And yes, there's another thing too. I have friends who are obese. I do not talk about dieting with them. It's none of my business. I know this. They are happy for me and Alan. But what do I do when I'm standing with them and a neighbor comes running across the street going "oh my god, how great you look, turns to my friend and says "how come you don't lose weight like Melody"? I have friends who live around the corner and we know each other. Her face turned bright red and I just said "now that is not nice".

Honestly, the stuff that comes out of some people's mouth, well I dont' know why they think they have the right to express their opinions even when it might be deemed hurtful to someone else.

If any of you can read my post and give me proper respones for any future situations, I promise to do exactly as you say and update you.

Never in all my life did I think I would walk out of my front door and have to apologize for putting on a jogging suit and makeup!!! jeez

comments are most sincerely appreciated.

Respectfully
Haggard looking Melody (lol)