Thank you all for loving my little guy. I just got home from working 12 hours and taking him to the vets. We've come up with a name...Spookey because he's so afraid of everything. Right now he has a clean bill of health, except fleas. He had a flea dip and the vet suggested I don't even bring him back in the house. So it looks like I'm spending the night in the garage.
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The vet suggested I don't introduce him to Benton until we get the feline leukemia test back. Hopefully that will be tomorrow.

So tired but it's oh so worth it.
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Some are asking how my kitten is doing so I figured it best I let you know that I had to have him put to sleep on July 5th.
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I knew something was wrong because he just didn't seem "right". So I decided to take him back to the vets and they did more tests and told me he had an underdeveloped heart and would have no quality of life. So I had him put to sleep that day. I don't know if I've done the right thing or not now that it's over.

I only had this little guy a short while but with my emotions being so out of control it's really hit me hard. I know it's probably silly but I get so attached to animals, especially cats who always seems to get the raw deal. He was such a joy, the world was all a wonder and now he's gone, way too soon. I get down and I see him marveling at a rubber band and how could I not smile.
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I'm wearing myself out trying to save every cat in the world. If only I could hit the lottery and buy a farm maybe I could put a dent in the overpopulation.
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A friend sent me this and it's beautiful to know that God picked "me" out to care for him. I just wish he let me have him a little longer.

Lend Me a Kitten

I will lend to you for a while
a kitten, God said.
For you to love while he lives,
and mourn when he's dead.

Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
or maybe two or three.
But will you, 'till I call him back,
take care of him for me?

He'll bring you charms to gladden you
and should his stay be brief,
you'll always have his memories
as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught below
I want this kitten to learn.

I've looked the whole world over
in search of teachers true,
And from the folk that crowds life's land
I have chosen you.

Now will you give him all your love,
nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take
my kitten home again?

And my heart replied,
"My Lord, Thy Will Be Done."
For all the joys this kitten brings,
the risk of grief I'll run.

I'll shelter him with tenderness,
I'll love him while I may.
And for the happiness that I've known,
forever grateful stay.

But should you call him back
much sooner than I planned,
I'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
and try to understand.

If by my love I've managed
your wishes to achieve,
in memory of his sweet sweet love,
please help me while I grieve.

When my cherished kitten
departs this world of strife,
Please send yet another needing soul
for me to love all his life.

((((((((bj)))))))

you gave that kitty some good lovin' while he was here. i'm sure you did the right thing. you wouldn't have wanted him to suffer.


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BJ,
I've been anxiously following this thread. I'm so sorry this baby is gone. But if it will help any to know, I've saved another one. We found this little black fellow by the side of a busy interstate. Someone had thrown him out of a car. He was seriously injured and in a badly malnurished state. We gave him water out of a water bottle in the palm of our hand in the car on the way home. It happened on a weekend. I could not get a vet until Monday. They spent several days hydrating him and operated last Friday to wire his little jaw together. The little fellow is doing well. Yesterday when we went to feed him and set the saucer of food down he jumped in the middle of it and growled if you looked like you were going to touch his food. He's black, yellow eyes, scraped up and sooo thin. His ears look 3 sizes too big for his body. But he's had two trips to the vet, been given meds and antibiotics and now is really fighting to be a big guy. He's been appropriately named "Tuffy". And as you can guess, he's now a member of my best friend's family. She has cats, I have dogs.

I wish with all my heart that people would neuter and spay their animals. Throwing a tiny kitten out of a moving car is a cruel- heartless- gutless thing to do. It takes a real coward to purposely injure a little kitten that would fit in the palm of your hand.

I'm sorry for the loss of your little one.
Billye

(((BJ))) I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Thank you for sharing your story and that wonderful poem.