Hi there,
I lost my 13 year old springer spaniel today, I am really upset.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to cope with pet bereavement?
Is there something I can make to remember Ben by?
Many thanks
Alison

You finally had to do "it".

This is so hard.

We have a pet cemetery in the back corner of our yard, with the 40yrs of pets we have loved. There are two animals in it that are wild and who happened to
die in our yard as well.

It was a bare spot, neglected when we moved in. Over the years I put in a statue or two, and planted some bulbs, and ivy and now it is a beautiful spot.
I don't know if you can bury your Ben on your property, but I think that helped me with the grief.

If you have some pictures, a little montage for your desk might help. Not at first, but as time passes and you miss him.
I think the worst part of it all is when you have to euthanasize the pet there is an element of guilt involved. But you just have to pass thru that.

Remember that the feelings of guilt or sadness are directly proportional to your ablility to love. So the great love you had for Ben will just be the other side of the coin. One cannot love like this without loss, since life is a path, that always changes and eventually ends. So just cry when you feel like it and expect dreams, etc. I cried alot for 2 of our old cats...they seemed to touch me very deeply. The others I missed, too, but not with the same intensity.

Here is a snapshot of our pet cemetery. I helps me move thru the years without my little beloved friends:

I hope you can get a new puppy...this can be the best therapy of all.

I think if you try to think of really good times and good memories of Ben it is a little bit easier. You could even make a little memorial inside or outside even if he isn't buried at your house.


When my kids were little I would remind them when a pet was getting older and that they don't live as long as we wish they would.
We live out in the country so we usually got a puppy before - so the older dog could help "train" the pup.

If fact we thought we might lose one to cancer, so we got a puppy and then the other dog pulled thru and is doing fine - so now we have 3!
a 12 yr old
a 9 yr old
a 3 yr old

If time or space is a problem, you could look into other types of pets too.
parakeets can be fun and train pretty easily- of course you have to deal with feathers and seeds. Or hamsters, guinea pigs etc..

((Ali)) The last pet I put down was a year ago Mothers Day. I didn't feel good about it then and still don't. My grieving was as if I lost my own sister all over again. My folks even wondered if they should take me to the hospital. I was totally overwhelmed, howling in grief.
.
I couldn't even stay in my own home for a few days...stayed at my folk's house.

It's been a year and a half and I still can't look at pictures of her without hurting. It's very strange as I've been through a lot of pets in my 58 years.

I have a photo of one of my dearest cats, long ago passed, on one of my walls. Macho. I can now look at him and smile, but there's still a missing piece of my heart on that wall with him.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
.
Time will heal.
.

The "Rainbow Bridge" provided me some level of comfort when I lost a beloved kitty. Also, when I lost that kitten and my sweet dog from years before, I buried them, found little signs or statues that held were true to their natures and even held a ceremony. My biggest regret with my kitten was, in order to make everyone else feel good, we got rid of most of her toys and stuff right away. Hope that your heart heals and remembers the loves. Be well.

Mrs. D, thanks, I think that's a great idea. There is a 'pet cemetary' in my folk's back yard that holds all our passed beloved animals. I'm going to check for a statue or some kind of marker to remember them all by. Excellent idea.

one we found at a farmer's market. The other at a garden supply place.
Both are small. But it is really a beautiful spot, now. Especially in the Spring when the Spring flowers bloom. I like to think that it is the spirits of the animals there that make it so. (I really did minimal gardening intervention there).
There are 5 cats there, 2 gerbils, one raccoon, and one squirrel. (since 1970.)

I just looked on Ebay... type in cat garden statue into the search engine.. There are quite a few, and shipping is not that
much! About what I am paying for my new kitchen glass cookware!
example:

.

I think this is very nice and affordable!

and this is very cute:

.


Sorry... I have Ebay-itis.... but some are really nice there on that search!

please excuse the typo in the title... duh?
.

Alison,

I am sorry you are going through this. We had to put our Shih Tzu, Chewy, to sleep earlier this summer. It was very hard. The "Rainbow Bridge" website helped me a great deal. But what we had done was through our Vet clinic. They had urns and markers and photo frames. So, what we did was to choose a "Paw Print" with an urn that goes underneath and is attached and sealed...nothing can get in it. And we had his name and birth and death date engraved. We put this in a special place in yard that is already landscaped so it looks more or less like a stepping stone. I should add that underneath the paw print part since the urn itself is smaller, we put his favorite stuffed toy and a couple of other things. And my best friend bought a small plant to plant by his marker as well...it is a miniature hydrangea called "Little Lamb" which is exactly what he was.

Also, there was a fairly think photo frame they gave us for free. On one side is his photo and on the other is plaster cast print of his paw...something they did after he was put to sleep. They also made a paper weight with his paw print and gave that to us as well.

All of it was very tastefully done and I have a sense of closure knowing he is in the back yard and his spirit is free....sort of running and playing like he used to.

Shortly thereafter we purchased two new pups and now have 3 total. Although they do NOT take the place of Chewy they are fun loving and we are crazy about them. But we never forget the other one. I still do cry from time to time and I miss him terribly. But again, I like to think of him or his spirit outside playing with them too.

Again, I am sorry...I know it hurts. But when I look at his photo and some of the things I have placed to remember him...I can and do smile through the tears.

Dear Ali,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Ben. I can truly empathize with you since just Monday I had to have my 15-1/2 year old Bichon Frise, Susan, put to sleep. The grief, emptyness, guilt, etc. are almost unbearable right now. When I get her ashes back, I've told my adult kids that when my time comes, I'd like her ashes put in with me.

The petloss/Rainbow Bridge website seems to be a place of understanding. Right now, being I live alone with advanced MS, my house seems as empty as the hole in my heart. I suppose time softens some of the grief and then we'll be left with more of the good memories of our faithful friends.

My heart truly goes out to you as we're traveling this horrible path together.

Hugs.........