Bizi, Where is the Nov Thread??
 

Hi, Bizi,

I have been thinking about you and hoping that you are doing well.

M

I guess this will be my thread for november!
Had a bad first time full ledged panic attack.
WE did our usual haunting and I drank 5 beers and after watching incidious 2 the movie...I was all freaked out.!!!!!!
very afraid and clinging to jeff.
I was afraid of every thing. it was awful.
slept with the lights on. jeff helped me but I took a zyprexa 15mg that I had from 2008. I thought what the hello I need to calm down.
It worked and zonked me out I was in bed until 4pm. I guess I needed the sleep.
I hope it was not a psychotic episode....
today, I am feeling much better. thanks for asking.
bizi

Hi, Bixi,

Some of those movies are designed for people who want that kind if excitement: the jumps in editing, the loud noises, . .
I am glad that you are ok and found a way to self-medicate.

Have a god week.

M

I don't care for movies that are scary. So sounds like I need to
stay away from that one.

Heehee
Donna :hug::grouphug:

Can you ask Jeff if he heard you say anything indicative of paranoia? If you are worried that this was truly a psychotic episode?
If you're like me, it won't be an isolated incident.

I hope that it was just a panic attack.

I'll be thinking of you :hug::hug::hug:
Kay

Next time, leave the movie and tell Jeff you will wait for him in the lobby.


M

Well actually we watched all three of them one each night thursday incidious number 3, friday number 1 and saturday number 2.
Between going to the 13th gate on thursday then a near by haunted ride and the movies..I am all halloweened out!
Yes I do believe it was paranoia...I was afraid that something was going to get me.
awful feeling.
I feel fine now.
thank goodness.
To have come on and gone so quickly!
bizi
8pm
Now I need to get off this computer and go walk on the tred mill I have been avoiding the gym for a week have said I was going to go and never got around to it.
so I am going!
bizi

Bizi,


I hope that the treadmill went well.

Keep taking care of yourself. :hug::hug::hug:


M

Redirecting your energy to the treadmill seems like a great idea :)

I'm glad that the feeling of paranoia has passed :)

And I hope you have a good day :)

Thanks ladies.
I did make it to the gym last night.
Some how it feels indulgent. I watched tv while there which I don't do at home. Walked 40 minutes about 2.2 miles at 3.5 mph. felt good.
I think my hypomania has subsided.
I feel like the happy feelings have disappeared.:(
I got up early today to make chilli. We are having some friends over for dinner.
Will see if the social anxiety comes back...I hope not. That was the best thing about the hypomania was not being anxious around people. I wish I could bottle that up.
We will have chilli with black beans and beef, and Onions and peppers
with shredded sharp cheddar cheese and sour cream on the side.
half an avocado
corn muffins
they are bringing some fruit.
they will be here for 6pm.
I am on my 3 cup of coffee....
already called my client this morning to let her know that I will be there late, some time between 10 and 10;30. I want plenty of time to shower and curl my hair. I have looked pretty haggard these past few days. It has been that time of the month which I hate.......can't wait to be done with perimenopause!
I got caught up with charting last night, it was hard focusing, absent mindedly, I even thru some stamps away but retrieved them out of the trash quickly realizing what I did.
sigh
I found out that one of my clients passed away on halloween. She was 98 years old and I loved her.
She was a nurse during WWII.
I just called her daughter and spoke with her. The obit will be in the paper tomorrow for the arrangements. I hope to go to the calling.
Thank you for reading and for your support.
bizi

I'm sorry to hear about your client Bizi :hug:

I'm glad you enjoyed your workout and that you feel like the sx of hypomania are passing.

Your dinner sounds fabulous! I hope you have a great time with your friends!

We did have a great time with our friends. They brought a huge bowl of cut up fresh fruit. It was delicious!
My girl friend susan found a part time job working retail at a clothing store at the mall... "Talbots", nice clothes laid back work it sounds so perfect for her. Was glad to hear that!
I need to get a birthday card for my niece...her birthday is the 5th so it will be late...as usual...Why can't I ever get her her card on time????

Think I will run to the store and pick up a card.
Then I have some billing that I should do.
And then watch an episode of x-files....
life is good.
bizi

I could not sleep so just got up.
I hate that!
Made a pot of coffee.
anybody up still/yet?
Mari?
bizi

I got up early... at 6 and my cat wouldn't let me go back to bed... he's like a dog in that way.

lol...this morning one of mine was hanging out practically on top of the keyboard. she found a new function on the computer for me which i didn't need
bobby

Got some paperwork done, all caught up :)
bizi

Good job on the paperwork, Bizi,

M

Just got back from a healthy lunch and brought back home some sustainably raised talapia. 6 meals at $3 a serving, 5 ounce filet. They had just got it in:)
That was a good deal.:)

I had chicken and collards and cabbage and parsnips for lunch. delicious!

Dinner will be some coconut coated panko crumbs talapia...(not sustainably raised that I got from target)... :( That I needed to eat for tonight. with roasted corn. and half an avocado...that is if it is ready to eat.
Jeff comes home late...I am going to try to make it to the gym.
Off to see more clients...love my job.
bizi

Right after work I went to planet fitness and walked on the tred mill for 55minutes...a 5K. at 3.5mph.
I did not wear my fancy shoes and the bottoms of my feet are sore.
Over cooked the talapia which still turned out tasty.
I am going to go to bed very early tonight...I am so tired.....yawn. I did not sleep last night and got out of bed at 4;30am....:(
My back is sore maybe a heating pad would feel good.
When I got back from the gym jeff was still working late and I was ravenous. So I ate the left over lentil rice....there was a lot left....
the avocado was not ripe so we ate the fish and the corn and that was enough. I am very full. Had about a cup of roasted steamed corn.
Jeff ate some cheese and we both had some chocolate like usual. Typically in the evening I will have a lindt dark chocolate truffle The blue wrapper ones are my favorite!
thank you for reading.
bizi

I took meds tonight and am going to bed on a heating pad for my back.
Maybe I could ask jeff real nicely if he would rub it????
bizi

I hope your back and feet feel better Bizi :hug:

I slept like a rock.
I took 80mg of geodon and 5mg of ativan.
Jeff gave me a nice back rub and the heating pad did the trick.
went to whole foods tonight and had 3 beers.
they were craft beers. :)
Had salmon and brocolli then fries at whole foods with brown gravy and cheese curds...yummy!
so much for my diet!
out the window!
bizi

Jeff seems like such a doll! I'm glad that his back rub and the heating pad helped. Also glad you got a good night's sleep! :)

Sometimes we have to spoil ourselves Bizi! Plain and simple. We can't be angels all the time. :)

I felt really weird after drinking the 3 beers. I am thinking that I can't drink any more maybe just stick to one or maybe 2. I had to take extra geodon(80mg and 2.5mg) and klonipin to sleep last night.

My brain needs to get used to just .5mg of klonipin to sleep at night.
I over slept this morning. missed my 10am must have turned off my alarm then went back to sleep, got up at 10;30. called her daughter as I did not have clients phone number, will see her at 1pm and reschedule my 1 oclock to another day.
my 3- 16 oz pints last night was really 4 (12 oz )beers...that is too many.
If I am going to drink then 1 or 2 must be my limit.

If I can't moderate then I will not drink at all. It is just easier.
bizi

It was hard just having one beer at whole foods tonight with the gang there but I drank water at my friend marks suggestion. I had their carrot thai soup and corn bread it was delicious. Had a bite or two of jeffs burger for some protein.. On the way out of the store I wanted some ice cream so I bought a pint of it and ate the whole 800 calorie container. lol I ended up going to an evening of little operas scenes at the university with susan, jeff did not want to go. It was fun. We got poured on when we left. :eek:
Came home and had a beer. so that is a total of 2 beers tonight. I feel fine.. I took my night meds and am getting ready to go to bed.
I will see my neighbor as a client tomorrow morning at 10 am. Will have gumbo with jeff as usual if he returns from his school work that he has to do in the morning. Then I am getting my hair high lighted again hopefully getting rid of more of this red.
night all
bizi

That sound like a great evening, Bizi.
I always feel great after a haircut -- I think it is becuasse I cannot do anything
while I am in the chair except sit still (and relax).



M

Thanks mari it was the one drink did away with the social anxiety. though that buzz was starting to fade away and the nerves were coming back. rats.
we left shortly after that.

I slept fairly well on the 40 mg of geodon and .5mg of klonipin.
as prescribed.
got up early at 7;15. wanting a cup of coffee. I had a weird dream about visiting a poor family and spending time with them. small living quarters clothes everywhere, food rotten, little water bottles. I wanted to support the older girl who was there...trying to figure out how much it would cost to support her. then woke up.
My life is very rich. I hope I don't take it for granted.
I strive to eat better more organics fruits and veggies, meat that is more humanely raised, grass fed beef, vegetarian fed chickens, while half of the whole world is just trying to find enough to eat to survive.
I send a small amount each month to the second harvest(food bank).
I should do so much more.....
bizi

You are a beautiful person Bizi :)

And I'm glad you slept fairly well on the meds "as prescribed."

thank you kay, you are sweet.....

watched the movie maleficent.
It was fun!
Had a few beers hope that I sleep tonight.
It took 4 1/2 hours at the beauty shop today to high light my hair. It is finally not as red as it has been. It just took awhile.
I really like it!
Jeff likes it too.
I will put a picture up on facebook.
bizi
PM me if you want to friend me on facebook.
getting ready to watch another episode of x-files....
:)
jeff is sighing watching LSU getting beaten by alabama....

It was the "Cops" episode...
bad boys bad boys what cha gonna do.....
I hated it....
bizi

Bizi,

When I was a kid, we raised chickens and other farm animals.

Our chickens were omnivores: They ate grubs, insects, worms, snakes, frogs,. . . along with the pellets from the farm feed store. They liked corn that we bought too.

---
After thinking about this too much while I was trying to write this post, I almost
decided to stop eating. It is hard to figure out what to buy and what to prepare.


M

Bizi, just a quick note to say that I really admire you - eating in a healthy and sustainable way is something I try to do as well.

"My life is very rich. I hope I don't take it for granted. [...] I send a small amount each month to the second harvest(food bank)"
I could have written those things. This is not about me but I give as much money as I can to organisations who support people who need help.

:hug:

I hate the "Cops" episode of the X-Files.

oh mari, I am sorry if my talk about my food choices upset you.
I was afraid that they used to feed chicken other chicken parts...yuck! I guess I should eat pasture raised chickens....sigh

2 1/2 beers was too much last night, could not sleep...waiting for the coffee to be brewed.
bizi

Bizi

I really enjoy reading your updates.

donna :hug::grouphug:

Today was a lazy day.
After our lunch the usual: 3 eggs scrambled with spinach and black bean salsa and a side of brocolli. today they had shrimp and artichoke soup so I splurged and had a cup. Boy was that good!
Decided to go back to kohls since I had a coupon and a left over gift card.
It took me hours to find a pair of boots that fit and that I liked and on sale etc. but I found them! I also bought some black leggings and some purple socks to wear with my boots that matches the sweater that I bought last weekend. I used up all of my gift cards from last year....and I have one new outfit. How do people have the time to shop and how can they afford to shop????
(thanks again mom for the gift card!)
I went to whole foods and had some beers, a really good coffee milk stout, yummy! I felt social and struck up a conversation with a guy at the bar. Turns out he is a deputy sheriff. He has been in the military, served in 2 wars, tired of law enforcement And now wants to be a cook. lol
Came home and cooked pork chops with an indian spice-picle masala. It is very flavorful. Steamed mixed veggies and had half an avocado. Simple like usual. Had a dark chocolate truffle delicious! I usually eat a piece of chocolate every day.
We took a 2 mile walk around the neighborhood. I wore a light jacket but took it off before we got home because i got hot from walking.
Jeff was in shorts. ha!
He was busy today taking down all of the halloween decorations and putting them up in the attic.
I hope that I sleep better tonight after the walk.
thank you for reading.
bizi

Bizi,

I did not mean anything. I was only thinking aloud about raising chickens and how most of the labels on our eggs are confusing.

Eat the eggs that you have been eating. They are fine.

M

I often wonder how some women can afford to buy all these outfits that have multiple matchy-match pieces to them. It must be so expensive! Give me a pair of jeans and a tee shirt (long-sleeved) any day!

The gentleman you struck up a conversation with sounds very interesting, great kind of guy. I'll miss that part about bars.

I think it's great you reward yourself with a piece of chocolate every day. I wouldn't be able to stop at one though :)

I wear short sleeve v neck tee shirts lol
bobby

lol.

Almost all of my tee shirts are v-neck, too. My sister and friends were always trying to get me to buy crew necks. I had to switch to long sleeves for obvious reasons, though.