Focus on Blessings 3
Nearing the close of Focus on Blessings 2,
it is good to reflect on the reason we ponder that which has come blessedly into our lives for a moment just a flicker even a blink of an eye or, maybe, just maybe, far longer....into days, weeks, or more..... Blessings - the phenomena of feeling in the moment better for having experienced fulfilled for having known joyful just because perhaps at peace and maybe God was behind it all maybe another whom you know had a part maybe family created joy, co-workers kudos, a passer-by smiled then you knew you had been blessed I feel it so very often and it is infectious seeming viral in the ability to grasp ahold of others and take them unawares into fields of flowers of gratitude fed by gentle raindrops of nurture and it is impossible to avoid the heartwarming peace which overwhelms for THIS is blessing. I feel blessed YOU chose to read this today. I feel blessed we are allowed to share openly in this place. I feel blessed care is abundant, whether medical, familial, friend or labor there is blessing in all of it. Open your heart and experience the feeling of Blessing. Come. Read. Lurk. Write. Share. Know what blessing is because You walked the earth and related to others. Cool, isn't it? mark56 :grouphug: |
But for this place
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day Dear Father Blessings are to see and watch carefully your Grandchild still be happy Even though mom struggles All I can do dear Father is pray and can see that life isn't fair However we see the tunnel The road The ride In the moment When you are filled With awesome God Is the Great I Am Seek and you will find The Great I Am In constant work I Blessed to have been appointed the duty of Motherhood Blessed to have been a Influence to the children I raised from birth From a woman I do not understand no more stress There My baby having to take charge and see the bigger pictures That God has a purpose for her birth I am appointed the job the hardest job in the world To raise my children The value of belief Trust in faith Trust yourself to be Honest truthful as it really is Assess the situation as you ask God for guidence For the 10 commandments is a beginning If unsure reach up to The Lord you have carried me so many times And I know without your guidence you're prayers the stories the spiritual experiences when it hit you walked this earth Died for us Arose for us To sit at the right hand our Father I believe Mother Mary Blessed us with his birth Amen Thank you for a place of allowing us to have blessings every single day I must be vigilant in all that is true Life is not fair It is the way it is for reasons Unbeknownst to us The blessing is in the faith I have for my Father |
SO....
How many would feel Blessed to get to throw a baseball around with their spouse? I did today....gotta report though HER arm is far better than mine now. I had no clue what the nerve damage would do to fine motor skills and aim of a ball, let alone strength. Even so, it was fun, and invigorating.
Now That is a BLESSING. Yup, :D :grouphug: |
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Blessed
Another day
another opportunity to BE. Not so bad in the context of living through pains we endure, eh? We may reach out and touch someone of significance and say thank you for Being Sweet, :grouphug: |
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thank you for being me |
Then...
Unfolds the Blessing of You BEING....
Ahhhh.... yes, you Bless us all. Great big :hug:z Me |
today we are
Father
Mother Mother Mary thank you for another day you we rejoice our Holy Brother i love with the reminder with you in my heart we keep your Spirit alive on focus 3 what a beautiful place to be in our ups and downs you are honored everyday we are reminded of your work while on this earth as a human and believe you rose from the dead still with his life for US to never forget died on the cross to be seated at the right hand of the Father we praise you on this weekend and remember we are Gods children my granddaughter recites the "Lords Pray" and soon to be three how awesome is that i think i'm on to somthing Father Wednesday i go to a new doctor to rule out osteomyelitis or metastatic disease upon looking at my myelogram has found at L4 and L5 there is severe degenerative disc decease with loss of disc height, vacuum disc phenomenon, endplate sclerosis and productive osterophayte formation also a posterior disc bulge witch results in mild central canal stenosis and causes mass effect on the left L5 auxiliary sleeve than i look at my most recent MRI and at L3 and L4 hemangioma of the L3 vertebral body a long inferior endplate of L3 and superior aspect of L4 there are adjacent degenerative endplate changes there is mild right paracentral disc bulge also a marked narrowing of right neural foramina at L4 and L5 there is servere narrowing with adjacent endplate changes and there is mild facet orthrosis so, does anyone else see where i am going my hemangioma just might be the lurking culprit oh my goodness now i will not rule out the possibility of it being cancer a very small chance as i am gaining weight look healthy and what more can i say how ironic i pull my test that shows the above sweet Mother Mary Amen this i will bring to the doctor this week oh goodness could i be right it makes sense will have to wait and see with the new doctor i ask please Lord hear our prayers in Jesus i Trust to all |
Easter
Blessed
thankful joyful love filled Blessed :grouphug: |
Some pictures from Easter sunday
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My granddaughter baby Eva playing with her aunt
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My granddaughter playing hide and seek with the family
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Me and my granddaughter caught off guard by my daughter
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Me trying to get a descent picture
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My oldest and my youngest on corissas birthday
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The cake decorated by my daughter and my granddaughter
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it was a wonderful day
Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day the most very important thing was explaining to little Eva using her rosary beads she had picked has Mother Mary and baby and son on cross as an adult explained when he grew up as a man he taught us the poem The Lords Prayer and that he died that he carried his cross and like a sponge absorbing every word and then i continued he carried his cross then he was nailed to it everything was dark it rained when he died they laid him in a stone tomb and on the third he rose from the dead to go up to heaven to meet his daddy God and will sit at the right hand of his daddy who we call God it was awesome her humming away loving it awesome Glory to God in the highest and peace to his people on earth then explained he died for for our sins did not understand sin yet but it was beautiful Saraeve cooked all bake ziti and roast turkey breast awesome then it was over Corissa was growing and now it is Eva turn AMEN! Corissa could only put on one picture at a time that explains the posts wishing all lots of love |
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so amazed am i too yet i can be who i am this too i understand this may sound sad but i'm thinking ahead i need to wear sandals that have straps so i do not fall so i found sandals and thought to myself these will be easy for my kids to put them on not wanting to be a burden then i think jeez little Eva and i will be so close shoot she walks in the door puts her shoes in the closet as you walk into the apartment ya think the adults would remember ya know what i mean the everyday pain we live with this morning for the first time in a long i woke up nauseous my meds are still the same need to smoke as it helps get rid of it completely what happened my body is rotting a little bit each day i reached it's my pique at fifty i am fifty three now you write how much less of movement allowed throwing i still cannot get over the pain in my fingers how i have to push myself ie my daughter Christine Eva's mommy my daughter say to me "mom i'm so sorry because if my body feels like it does now i can't imagine how you feel" said to her "i always had a high tolerance to pain" so for that my friend i want to say thank you for reminding me of i can just BE with pain and all do when i can many times soooooo over do it and pay for it for a couple of days my home is not complete yet so i try a little at a time and i am grateful for what's important to me is my family as tiny as it is another day of BEING Amen my friend love all around the world and celebrate BEING God my Father hears our prayers i BELIEVE in Jesus name I BELIEVE |
Dearest Eva!
Thank you for sharing your peeps with us! :hug:
A true BLESSING indeed! and YOU are such a blessing to US :hug: ....always being there with the right things to say to a hurting soul, or a prayer request, or even just because someone needs a smile. Yes YOU dear Eva are a true vessel from God :hug: |
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wise person also who is loved very much in return blessing to know you |
new doctor
dear Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day dear Father today i see a new doctor this will help my brain a whole bunch just the thaught will not say it i am not sure what this doctor intends to do all i needed to know can either of the two be ruled out in my post i have come to think there is a problem but not "it" i had "it" once before did away with my breasts i beg please if it must may it be the possibility of it being an infection that it is not detected in the blood let it not have made it to my bones bring some light to this heart light to go on my back and you heal i beg a miracle this summer Eva joined the pool this will be good for Corissa last summer where she could still be a teenager be at the pool with her niece it will lots of fun my sister is coming i will follow her will have all there except son speaking of my boy Father take care of him and allow the surgeon who will have his heart in his hands turns out my boys heart is being shorted by nerves that are dead and that his anxiety he thought he and this includes doctors he has had several throughout his adult life but it has been found nuclear stress test found this now they need to get in there and get these deadened nerves out may they be interfering with the function i know a bit about what is being talked about i studied and received a certificate EKG Technician the doctors said his heart working harder than it should be can you spare him any hard times and that he be i hand you provide to do the job his oldest sister will be there as will i to be there only in Spirit i will have Eva he will have YOU there is much to say thank you for all you provide blessings from my Spirit to my obligations without the trust and faith is nothing all is as it is suppose to be i cannot express how much relief it will be my diagnosis big a big mistake this too can be a possibility in prayer i shall put it in prayer i have to pump up the faith all will be manageable my family will be with me wouldn't have it any other way i am wishing all a beautiful blessed day me |
new doctor
will review meylogram report
and mri will see him again May 22nd will start with blood work and take it from there my new internist me still waiting |
will review
dear Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day today i woke up and thought to myself what is happening and what did i do to **** you off as new doc John D'Acoonti a pain specialist taking me on as a patient also an internist Father i am an interesting patient to him he will review the two reports and will asses what to do in the mean time i am having specif blood work will have been ready for the doctor this has been a long tiring day i have nowhere to go he recommended the pool this i will do did i upset you if i did i'm sorry i'm so sorry me |
to put pen to paper
dear Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day it is a gloomy day cold body twitching in the night how i must make my promise it has been going slowly in the right direction Christine is working we Corissa and myself watching Eva Corissa is now in the process of having to get her GED preferably on line and work part time and find out what she wants to learn to make a career and love what she does i still feel i did the best in decision making with her it did not matter i always was in contact and it fell on deaf ears no one took her under their wing if anyone was paying attention they could see why when she was in class a natural A-B student there are only so many zeros and you fail period had her repeat the grade all through the second year on the phone with her guidance gave teachers my number was it ever used yes her math teacher and that was short lived no one listened most importantly she was able to see her faults as did her donkey butt father but this now is way too late as they now left my child behind "no child left behind" bull turd dear Father you know my input in all of this what we are working on i will not let her fall any further it is my job to help her support her please help me with her not to ever feel she cannot talk to me as i am an open book with my kids they still look for my input Father i would one day see all my children in a get together as adults under my roof and see with loving eyes and know you are the inspiration the reason to live life to the fullest and praise the Father who makes things happen your spirit lives in this apartment and will live on forever and ever Amen! may your day be filled with the Lord and his promises Amen! |
What's going on
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day We are wakened again Pain in my sleep Hips knees throb A beat of there own Awakened again To be in this world is not easy Rather for myself it isn't easy The pit of my stomach is lost Or is it the pit of my heart Either case it does no feel good Father Guide this lost heart I need to find something that fills this hole Father you know what I speak of Not to go into depression I do not know why Spoke to my psychotherapist a good session As he reminded me "It's not you" Yet everything around me i wind up becoming responsible for He understands me he's begun to get me He too a father Be it may I live with this horrible feeling for the rest of my life So be it Maybe I'll fake it till I get there Nope not me too may need me I get passionate in everything I do But when my life is still I am alone On that physical and emotional pain Who wants to be a burden to anyone Who wants to listen to my bull turd I have given my all and continue to That will never change My love for the human who understands the road my life and all the unecessary drama The addict in all of my family To experience watching my oldest go through what her dealt cards were to have removed a part of her brain in hopes to stop her seizures and the slew of out of touch pharmaceutical companies and the outrageous price they are is a CRIME TO LISTEN TO THOSE ON HERE SUFFER What ever the case may be When I read how overly interested when in trial mode of a SCS and or Pain Pump To have a diagnosis like my most recent MRI in itself and hold it all together is certainly a task it creeps up out of nowhere bites me in the butt all over again How is it I move on One moment at a time stay focused I am Gods child We will be taken care of As a human that had her life change as much as mine in almost four years now only what I can handle This much I understand I have many blessings in my life and I must continue to remember I am only in control of me And can only be there when I'm needed To help Corissa find passion in her life AND GO FOR IT She was taken out of school as it should be a safe place A place to learn keep a child's interest This was not the case So new avenues we must take Her progress is slow We had to start at the very BEGINNING Baby steps The PHONE limited All from the beginning listening skills Following through Take care of things without being asked HONESTY the most important of all rules I thank God and will never doubt that his son died for our sins Forgive me of my sins Amen I am such a passionate human being a passionate mother and grandmother It is just this weight of all the turd I have to deal with alone in real life But made up in my cyber family who I know are real and share their experience strength and hope for the future And that's just live it when you can I am so tired of talking of the pain It is there I can't help it Until my diagnosis is figured out what the blank it means maybe by then things will be different but for now this empty feeling Is it in my gut Is it in my heart Is it in my head It is what it is There is no option I must follow through There are times I MUST SAY "NO" Maybe then I'll see things how they really Corissa has to learn all the way from the beginning It is difficult looking at her and yet to show me simple orders things she should be able to do simply Yet that isn't the case I am floored at the status of the situation just blown the blank away Blessings dear Father For a loving Son a mother who watched him die Thy will be done On earth as it is in Heaven Jesus my brother I know you lived in this world as a human I am human living Spiritually in such depth at times I can go on and on in my head the intensity real Your powers real Your promise real Your love real Your Fathers gift Your Father in his soft flannel worn shirt with the aroma of love Blessings you say Ask Father keep me alive long enough so I can see my lineage do well Be healthy I have too much to do with my family Eva needs me I miss my dog Me |
Wow Eva
THAT is Some post! Grateful for all of it, I am.
Thank you for being a Blessing. :hug: |
So
What if your day has not gone as planned?
What if things seemed off kilter? What if pain was awful and life ......well, sucked.....? Could you, would you be able to feel Blessed? I submit yup, you would. It is all in perspective and perception. There is something, no matter how seemingly tiny, which is for each today a blessing. Truth be told, this is what has buoyed me through the decades. Blessing. A sky with warmth, or cold, with stars of night or sun of day, A family member, or several of them, A friend.....even one A meal, for which I am thankful Something to wear A kindness, whether conferred or received, Love, no matter whence it comes, to be loved even in friendship is blessing The simple thing of just resting....between spasms of pain sometimes How about taking a single Ghirardelli chocolate chip and letting it melt on my tongue.....a blessing, that.... I so enjoy blessings..... Don't you? :grouphug: |
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did someone say chocolate |
Blessings come in many forms; but "chocolate", "sweets"; Oh My....I am overdoing many of these blessings lately. Unfortunately, they do not take a positive look on this body; but; "Oh Soooo Good" at the moment. Maybe, then, just for a little while instead of pain; we enjoy.
Yes indeed, Blessings are there, comes in many ways, just need eyes to see them. They are there!!! Gerry |
Father hear me
My body aches so badly
All I read is the bleak prognosis of secondary cancer The pain described I experience Oh let this not be true My blood will be taken and I will be scanned by a new machine that will go to the molecular level That will be in two weeks Father stop my brain from doing anymore Mother I cannot imigine the pain leaving my family behind Brother hold me hold me tight Squeeze the pain from my body All symptoms are there America Cancer Society on matatastic disease my breast cancer is primary and loves bone my hips knees feet throb as I mention time and time again my elbows my change in urinating including bowel and of course to opioids used help that my pain in the bones hips started after removal of both breasts Brother carry me Father make me strong again My Spirit bruised Previous problems seem to be trumped the ****** up turd is I prayed to bring me home the pain unbearable This new type of scan machines name "I Thrive" is what my new internists shall do along with a slew of blood work To have read all I could scares the turd out of me Life expectancy is two years This I did and should not have read and I did What else am I left with I know my body something is going on And I pray for it to be a miracle at work Rip it from my body melt it away Keep me sane We just came from court I have custody of my grandchild Corissa needs me Eva needs me my children need me will I be spared to still be here for them I can't explain the hurt the pain the fear of leaving them behind as they are not doing well physically too Michael my boy will have heart surgery Christine has diabiaties with her drug addiction she fights everyday Saraeve and her epilepsy Corissa lost in this world I must help her and Eva now and I have only my two sisters younger than I both also fighting their demons and that's it A father who checked out by killing himself A woman who birthed us and wants nothing to do with us as her man and his children became hers And there she wrote Hold on to me Father Brother Mother Mary I do believe Forever yours Me |
Eva, I read your posts and the pain you face unimaginable, yet there it is in black and white. How is it you could be served with more than your fair share of the pie.
I know it's frightening to have read up on all that you have, I hear you lamenting that you did, yet I too would do the same. We are not women who sit idly by waiting for what may pass our way. Better to be prepared, better to know what needs to be done to live what life we have to the full in the time that we have, better to safeguard the future of those who will always know what you have done for them and better to pray for the miracle that may come, all this rather than be taken unawares. We, your NT family are with you, say what you must, rant when you need and cry without fear. We are here for you every step of the way, painful as it will be for you, we will still live on in hope and in awe of all that you have achieved. I say we because I know it will be more than just me. :grouphug: |
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Your words sooth my heart some you have me pegged thank you for the support it sucks when things just pile on and the mound never seems to move Yet the fear of the unknown and the wait well you know of course You and all here do allow me to share and know as you have already reached out For this is God at work through persons such as yourself who has an understanding And in it all for sure is a reason My love to you my friend my shoulder as well Forever Me |
woke up this morning
Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day going to bed crying waking up crying is not a good thing to work myself up is senseless yet there still are no definitive answer yet i have a hard time as it is yet i want to educate myself so in the company of my doctor i have an understanding of what he is saying this is what i do try to get as much information about my diagnosis this past January i want so badly for the pain i feel in my lumbar area that is active not be the worse case scenario secondary cancer of the bone primary my breast cancer crying crying crying just increases all the bad things that are happening to have two surgeon tell me will not do surgery "to many things are going on" OKAY what the blank does that mean here now a doctor has taken me on as a new patient not brushing off my diagnosis Father help him show him what must be done "i am a very interesting case" he will not stop this means the world to me i do not want to be a burden nor do i want to die prematurely oh what a horrible feeling this is it is so hard to sit idle and wonder Father i lack happiness i don't mean my children or grandchild all are my joy but the happiness that shows on my face not the frown sadness unknown fear all poison it is recommended i entertain the pool something we already do and it does do wonders looking forward to it your Love should be enough i need help i must find happiness if i continue to feel as i do i bring everyone else down hence isolation in my room wondering wondering what next thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven AMEN! |
Hello!
My name is Jesika ,I'm not exactly in you group forums but I always enjoy reading and practicing my faith through you guys,a nice group,I don't pray or write like you,but I do have faith and know everyday we are alive enjoying the sunshine or rain is a blessing ,thanks for reminding us that !
By the way my forum normally is rsd/crps but for certain rules we can't post messages like yours so I'm glad I'm doing here and hope you guys don't mind,thanks for praying and for blessing each and everyone here,God bless you all as well and I thank my Lord for let me everyday live believing in his promise that one day we all going to be pain free and without any worries,he sent his only son to die and resurrect so we can be sin free thru him and his words ,I missed this so much,blessing to all of you and keep believing ,from Jesika ( eevo) :grouphug: |
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this is the power of LOVE for one another true love for one another to have to live in today's world isn't easy but the power of JESUS CHRIST our SAVIOR who sits at the right hand of our FATHER and MOTHER MARY who suffered ultimate pain as she watched her son die for us our sins why we suffer as we do know how special you are the power of FAITH to know there are persons out there who relate Jesus Christ oh to have seen him as human to want to feel him in SPIRIT to yearn the good feeling in the end when you make the connection with other here and for that you are a Blessing hello me |
Thanks Eva !
I noticed is been a hard and long way for you to be walking,also I'm sure all those days you never had walk alone,Jesus !our Lord had hold your hand every single time and he will continue walking next to you ,carry you every time you feel like falling,washing your tears away when you cry,he is there,.
I'm glad and appreciate your words,means so much to me ,also being bless everyday by trying to keep leaving in this condition but always with faith in my heart,God bless your kindness and your beautiful soul,I'm sure he had put you in many peoples ways and lives for a reason,to me the most simple but difficult for some others,to believe in God,his son and our mother ,that's the most simple way to describe what living with faith means,to,believe. with all my respect and deep appreciation blessings to all as well ,from Jesika. :grouphug: |
Push up date
Father
The bloodwork will be done Tuesday I will be tested for several other cancer markers for one of three Be there my Brother hold me tight Squeeze me that the wind is pushed out of me Father be there to breath the life back into me Mother watch my babies as I find out what is going on The scan will be done when I go to the Dr. who took the oath leave no stone unturned Dad you know what your family is going through watch over them if that be the only thing you do |
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Eva, You are always in my prayers. Gerry |
and the call came
Father
what in the world is she up to its done over fallen apart i told her my family comes to me first and she has the nerve to call and wish me and my daughter Christine happy mothers day is she nuts calls me from her job taking care of and old lady doing the same sneaky thing calling me in secret SECRET HER WHOLE LIFE WITH ME HER ELDEST CHILD SECRET this was for what Father what did she want out of secret lies what hasn't she learned all she did was mistakenly birthed us never to love us but to lean on all her life left me in charge watching my baby sister i was under 5 all this you know father why the **** did she call we share nothing i owe her nothing i want nothing why the **** did she call the salt is burning my open wounded heart she continues to operate as she always has the family is not hers to mess with yet she continues to and where do i shove this turd to painful to even touch her lies lies lies lies lies lies may they go with her they are her lies keep me clear minded not to care not to cry not to feel i do not want her to infect me anymore she is my evil being any part of her i wish out of me my doors were always open to her she chose to never use it this much i told her after reminding her the family has fallen apart and all she has to say i know what the **** does she know what the **** did she ******* call me for |
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Sending you happy mother day wish Thank you for being there Hope life has settled in a way you can deal with everyday adversities Way too much going on here I have Corissa to help And Eva now with us on a permanent level I have to keep it together for them if anything Hope you get to enjoy some yummy chocolate Love Me |
A happy Mother's Day wish to anyone who needs it
Father
Brother Mother Mary Mother Oh mother Father forgive me and my harbored feelings Forgive this angry me from hurting anyone This is not my wish just to be left alone Not to be so angry I am sorry Mother Mary Who suffered ultimate pain For Jesus to have been loved by you Not just wonder but know what was to come I am sorry as my behavior is out the window Making my meeting this morning Hoping to feel a room filled with your spirit Amen |
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