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Me and my granddaughter 2014 Mothers Day
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Me and baby Eva again having fun on the beach
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my happy mothers day plus a picture of all three of my girls on Easter
decided after my morning meeting let's go to the beach temp in the 80's did it in an hour time Eva's first time Looooooved it wants to go back dear Father don't take me when i'm needed most we were at the beach destroyed by Sandy a place they grew up at when at the shore its's been almost 4 years now sine last time Christy revitalized N.J. shore i am really out of shape 140 lbs 2 years ago Cancer at my best at 150 i am 180 lbs could use to loose 20 hoping to with the baby at the pool made myself an awesome day no traffic home it was great took an hour back stopped at the diner Mommy works at she is in the middle of my three girls in the third picture hope to sleep good tonight my body is killing me miss the sand under my feet Eva Corissa Sara enjoyed their time with me |
my daughter
Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day Sweet Mother what was she thinking it did not resonate till we got home on our way down Sareve turns and asks me are you okay mom said yeah why well it's unlike you to just pick up and do something like this are you planning to do something to yourself like what i thought it hits me she was asking if i was going to take myself out i assured her i would never do that ever it is something i needed to do for myself know one else was fixing on doing it for me The baby comes in my room this morning says mimma i loved the beach it was awesome she so wanted to go on the adult rides but oh Mother what a ride down the shore to smell the ocean sea gulls picking up shells rocks one nicer than the next i ask her what was the best she says the water it was worth i must do more often Corissa says i had a great time but it's so not you to do things just like that told her maybe i should do it much more often thank you for yesterday and will make more of them Amen |
my blood will be taken today
Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day today a very important day my sister i coming to draw my blood the works will be done i will hug my new doctor when i see him he will let me know what the heck is going on with this body bring it back to life Father let this body roar like it did not too long ago make all well i beg you Father i have so much to do to help this family and all that is is to allow me to be there when needed Amen my blessings in my day are to come my your day be awesome! |
Finally
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day My sis will be here at 11:00 Nervous but ready to find out what's up Father let all be well Please |
Prayers
Eva, our amazingly strong Eva, you are in my prayers. I pray that today and the coming weekend with your sister and family is peaceful, the stress of having the blood taken and the then expected time period where you all will be awaiting an answer will raise emotions to an all time high. Sadly for us all often when we are under additional emotional stress it seems some of (not all) our loved ones inevitably let us down in some unimaginable way. You will remain in my thoughts until we all hear from you. Be strong and take extra care to be safe in your home over this stressful coming week. You know of what I'm referring to. :hug:
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I will heed to the warning My goodness may my open journal Help others As you have me Blessings in a big way Father Almighty be with us at this trying time and the love and care be my saving Grace Many many blessings Amen |
dear Father
Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day thy will be done Father help me pull the darkness from my brain the voice in my head as i write and find the words there are times when i am weary and i fall to tears each time i cry i get closer and closer to you i wonder why it has been the way it has been hope that in the end your glorious son Jesus Christ his mother Mary to have lived as human and teach in Spirit to have been around at the time your son walked this earth sent here by you to save us from ourselves like when i'm weak in Spirit i find i Thirst for you i crave your spirit i am alone i wonder will i ever have the opportunity to love another human someone i can count on someone who will look at me and not be afraid of my inner strengths you have given me let that special someone in my life my heart is so cold my blessings i receive daily i thank you for my grandchild nor my children are whom i not speak of my physical extension you used my body honored me with motherhood to bring your children into this world i thank you my love of you is real my body reacts my mind reacts my spirit becomes alive to keep it going i try i ask you to help me understand why i must be alone in all this why is there not someone to hold me touch me look into my eyes and see my soul to really look into my eyes and love me for what one will find if you look into my eyes Father this body weary a cane to hold me up as the ability becomes harder and harder not to fall my gait is not working well wishing it were "drunkin love" each day i wake i thank you each night that comes i thank you my knees and feet hurt so badly last night all i could do was cry cry cry what i hope to find out Thursday is i do not have "metastatic disease" i beg you Father squeeze the sickness out of me and breath in new life of painless physically that wants to rob me spiritually yet i stay connected by the Grace of God my dog to some just a animal for some for me my friend for me dedication for a healer my reason to continue to get the love would look into my eyes and just know now where he needs to ultimately be with my epileptic baby 33 will not bring s child into the world for all medication she was on for the amount of time and just the last of her 10 year depression and finally got her fire back is a miracle in itself to have gone through the what if's all the surgeries blessings from our dog to hold him to love him is the closest she will allow herself it would be to selfish of her she says to bring a child into this world with her life i understand blessings to our pet thanking him as a pup to have given such unconditional companionship for us humans i miss him and love him Father i have but faith in YOU that you did send us our lord as we know You are Lord God and i thank you having Blessed us sins debt free and that is if WE believe as i do forgive us as we are sinners Amen blessings are all around us open yourself up and hold on to It as long as you can LOVE to the world me |
Salvation
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day "He will appear a second time Apart from sin But for salvation" Hebrews 9 Verse 28 I have had a pretty hard day My child I give a place to lay her weary body and head After coming home from work She picked up after she was done now I have gotten to the point She will not destroy and let a fourth generation become entangled into a Total loss No doubt Little Eva loves She stayed up as long as her body could stand it and fell asleep finally "waiting up for mommy" I am a smart loving mother After her negligent behavior I waited till this morning calming asking her "At what point did you say to yourself I'm going to pick up? Just curious Asking kindly leave out the bull turd I told her Do not forget who your talking too With all the help I have to offer is first for my grandchild Who I reminded her I was saddened to hear pregnant And after two who did not come into this world KILLS ME So to say Christine was in a good self sufficient young beautiful way was not the case And now I am the one appointed one to care for her This another crutch of an excuse I explained you must be sober before ANYTHING until then to kindly arrange for a place to stay Eva is who I am thinking of as she chooses to be incapable of watching her It took her a half an hour to come from lobby to 19th floor She just came in the room Saying there is a room for rent I said whatever needs to be done No an easy desion to make but must Father in this whirlwind of a storm that doesn't show any let up not to stay focused She cannot use any excuse she tries to come up with Oh Father Help her stop It will be forth generation And I will try to protect her Amen Please Amen |
Results
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day Father thank you for another You took the life of evil From my brain You squeezed life back into me All of the markers tested Including matatastic disease Is all in normal range You give me a reason to be Grossly blessed to have found a doctor who in the old days would have made house calls And he does to an extent For the branding of the thought I this woman removed her breasts the food supply to my children used them for its purpose acted immediately and had them removed ASAP my worries I do not deny this doctor relieved by not only have compassion But has a son who is in a wheel chair rod up and down his back dosen't help when he cannot figure out what went wrong Bless this family As husband and wife are together working helping people Father I believer of the new start of science with Your blessing Lord God I Thrive allowing the doctor unbelievable information ALL MY MARKERS FOR CANCER OF MY SPINAL LUMBAR Is ALL ALL IN NORMAL RANGE AND THE "I Thrive" results confirm It also told me what kinds of foods I SHOULD AND SOHULD NOT EAT Avoiding inflamination And yes my back inoperable ARE HUMBLED AND THANKFUL GOD THE FATHER HEARD ME AMEN! AGAIN NO NO SIGN OF SECONDARY CANCER I WILL BE SEEING HIM ON A QUARTERLY BASIS as when he said "Because things could change" This is the doctor I need in my duration on this planet I am blessed A sinner Thank you for the Sacrifice Also Had a draw of blood that will allow doctor If there is any sign of early heart disease All other blood panel was awesome As this news runs through my body "I do not have bone cancer" Thank you holy Father Amen |
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
DEEP SIGH OF RELEIF!!
"Miracles Are Supposed To Happen" Marianne Williamson HB |
Happy Dance
I look a bit odd but who cares, I'm doing the happy dance for you Eva. Blessed Be xxx:hug:
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to all
Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day all the thanks of the wonderful persons who grace these pages this site called neuro talk was just by accident but the i don't believe in accidents as today i can go about my business and not have that terrible thought linger over my head rather in on branded in this mind i have dreams of to fulfill as weary as painful not ruling out there is pain that runs through this body can move along with the ease i am not being eaten alive as my prayers answered to all who hold me up when i cannot go on give me hope and understanding pain a symptom something is wrong don't ignore it find your way through the politics that many doctors play there are some left blessed in my case blessed blessed so thank you all for going through this with me blessed to have this place to come to |
To feel your spirit
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day I have but one wish for all To have the opportunity to stop and smell the world Too be graced by the Father that our sins are in debt free as he was crucified by the people who did not believe even to them He prayed for them Oh Heavenly Father I we are sinners I am sorry when I offend thee I believe you to be the Son and Father To be Blessed in everyway I pray my son find it in his heart and soul how much I love him Pray he seeks for your wisdom I miss him dearly Being astrainged form him hurts I want to be the best I can be in my Faith my hope he understands And find it in his heart to forgive And allow me in his life Today we go to the town pool Lord we love you Be with us and hold us close when we reach out to you I still am receiving your signs Also know I am doing what is right In Jesus name Amen To all happy holiday Be safe |
Dearest Eva,
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My daughter, once addicted to cocaine; now working thru the "power of the Holy Spirit", helping and supporting those in need because of addiction; said to me today when I spoke with her; "I place it in God's hands". She says and does this when things are often more than she knows what to do. Eva, as you know only to well; "place all these things in God's hands". Gerry |
I understand Blessings
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day My friends you certainly are And oh so love you for the love Blessings you send my way This is true Who else but the Father To entrust with the problems we incur My dear sister a slave to heroin My daughter and her addiction Oh the trials of this tiny family Sometimes I think it will just die out Here in the states as All my family is in Hungary And I hear there are troubles This family you blessed me with Father I thank you for the Love you bestow on me my daughter bless my addictive family sobriety Help them see the path is in the power of the rooms It at times is fill with your spirit Lord hear our prayers |
Just to know you care
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day Blessings to all On this beautiful sunny day Or better yet from my granddaughter "Mimma look, the sun woke up" May you have a smile on you faces To be free of evil thoughts This I say thank you Father To be free to think of living my LIFE to the best of my ability To live a Godly way is a beautiful way I love the Lord's Prayer My granddaughter recites it Was doing it at two she is three now an even sweeter time Oh the conversations we have are just precious Things that her and I share are unbelievable Trust precious things I know she will remember as an adult The memories I plant in her little spongy mind of hers I am loved by her in a indescribable way and the only things I can say to express it is unconditional safe trusting Holy real TrueLove These feelings vs my older children can only be explained like this Because time gives a person wisdom and that is what happenes you now a grandparent have a certain knowledge and wisdom experience you love just a little more And oh the rewards Blessings everyday Every single day Glory be to the father And peace to his people on earth All we are saying Is give peace a chance My all have a glorious day Me |
Oh the pain woman endure
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day It is one thing for a woman I Who can teach her child How important it is for her to pay close attention to her body Because I live by my calendar from The time my children have been born Logged everything in it Point I can go back month by month when I got my period the calendars date back to 1980 A habit I am proud to have Everything is in them Doctors appointments Milestones My calendars Again point The last time Christine had her period was Mother's Day and she is due to get it by Monday the second Why do I bring this up you may wonder Oh sweet Brother Yesterday was a tough day for mommy yesterday not because Eva did anything wrong But because she suffers hardcore menses not only physically but extreme mood swings Thank you Father the smarts you bestowed on me throughout my lifetime I am able to be there and help her the through it "It" is a ***ch to have it so bad Thank you Father allowing me the opportunity to help not harm and teach her she is in ovulation mode She suffers from out of the norm range hormanal struggles is NOT HER however she must do her own logging in her own information Be responsible for herself and her hormones I don't want to hear it anymore Hallalula |
spending day with sister
Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day i am up early today pain as usual in usual places will be at the pool today baby all excited a gorgeous day it is will bring my sister as she could use a day out she has a plate full of horrible things going on my daughter and granddaughter ready for a fun day blessings to be had to all may your day be with someone you love have a wonderful day me |
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day at mommy's job
just before the chicken and fries she had a bowl of Yankee bean soup had a good time Corissa taking picture mommy waiting tables |
Sunday and sis
Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day she had a great time my nephew stayed home he is a year older almost to date by two weeks she is in love with an addict introduced her to a cheaper way to pain relief only she has crossed the line and is trying to clean up her body he does not live home with her and my nephew my brother-in-law is living there to allow my nephew to maintain a high cost for schooling him something i hope he will appreciate he maintains honor status for a all boy reputable school my sister is two years younger than myself had her left palm to wrist on left arm fused reason for pulverized bones in hand idiopathic WHAT degenerative bone disease she know has a plate in that hand and wrist she tells me all the time working in NYC if someone should try to assault her she could knock them out with her wrist alone and also had lower lumbar surgery microscopically rods and all she was cut in the front and entered in back with the rods she is a success story it was so good to see her play with my granddaughter i can't wait for her to become a grandma as much as i wish she could clean up from all of it her husband who moved in with enabling mother and he has a great job a union still taken seriously gone because he is ill with a second liver a alcoholic and heroin addict dad where are you when your family needs you most how ****ing bad was it i remember so many factors i remember as clear as crystals why did you abandon us you left us for the wolves a parent who was selfish and didn't have a clue at one point my sister turned to me at the pool sitting on the edge our feet in knee high admiring two women may they have been sisters or long time friend "look eva, that's going to be us" i wanted to say we are already there i am so glad she had a blast we are such a small family sometimes i wonder if it will die out here in the USA as all my family is in Hungary so happy to have given her a good day we made it into the water and continue our conversation and when playing with baby Eva precious AMEN! blessed a good day with with hopes to do it again thy will be done AMEN! wishing all a blessed day! |
A rainy day
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day Went to the pain doctor Was asked as he points and quickly looks at them and says So when will you be getting a scan of the balloons I told him my oncologist is seen every three months I don't get it When I have to see him every month To manage this monster pain that has engulfed this worn body My tears as this flows with all the other folks out there with this invisible monster that live and has a life of its own "It" has a heartbeat of its own I feel the electrical surges go through me like a knife My lumbar takes the cake It is not a happy place to be when the throb is not in sync with another area of the body To remember that I'm still here I have so much to give Yet in a freeze on days like today My hands throb To have my pain wake me from sleep Oh Father I read so many stories Bring us peace in our day I will carry my cross until I cannot any longer Allow me the strength of mind to be the best I can under these crappy situations that come this way I rebuke all evil I am your child dear Father As my children go through life let them come to you in despair May we all get a break from this PAIN I call a monster In Jesus name Amen! |
Just keep pushing me
Dear Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day My daughter is just driving me nuts Bad enough having to go through my changes I have to listen to her upset ways when the baby sees her aunt Corissa her exact words were "she interrupted quality time by the baby becoming rambunctious" And I said and so Did that give her reason to slam the doors Absolutely NOT NOT and yet this is how she is behaving now yesterday evening she had somewhere to go said she will be home 9:30 well 12:30 she strolls in Now I ask anyone What I already know told her find a place to stay she cannot behave like she does PMS ADDICTION POOR BEHAVIOR all not to be the reason you treat me her mother like turd I'm appalled she is so angry I have custody It really bothers her that my youngest child Eva's aunt disrupts her child when leaving my room As the room of Corissa was given to her and little Eva Father I beg you Hell her help herself This is becoming overwhelming unnecessary and unhealthy I'm sick of it It's a vicious cycle And she needs help help that she knows needs to be done She forgets this is all the way it is because of her HER HER HER NONE OTHER BUT HERSELF it's nuts Father Father calm her Let her go to work And not go out to get high I beg you In Jesus name I believe Help her Father In thanks and praise |
Eva,
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Prayers for you and your family continue. Hang in there. You are so needed. Gerry |
While playing with her
Dear Father
Brother Mother Mary Holding on Is all I can do I constant dialogue with you The Amighty I was in bed most of the day yesterday My head and neck not forgiving My upper back mostly right side And I push through Saturday I forgot to take afternoon Meds And that when this pain took over I had so much fun watching my granddaughter and Saraeve play Brought tears to my eyes as Saraeve will not be able to have children due to all the medicines So mommy rang the bell be back in a few To my friends thank you for the support Love Me |
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she left for work and my family is settling down a bit oh how the male population think "it" be something i can control expect me to be the old me was something that would never come to life always hoping i had a chance to be the glue that holds all of us together this i try even faking it but i fail sometimes and breakdown they understand and help in return mom went to work we will pray all will be good for her we will do what we can Amen! |
why do i feel like this
Father
Mother Mother Mary i have such a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach it takes over my whole being it is dark it doesn't feel good it has always been in my life it comes and takes over it is hurtful it is powerful it won't leave me it hurts it hurts so hard it takes the joy of life from me it brings on tears like no other it does not want me to have simple joys of life i go through the motions i fake it hoping it will catch on nothing this is no life for me this is not happiness this is real this is not something i wish for but it is there lurking through me there are far more down then ups in this family my negativity is something new to me i am not used to it it makes me feel i do not belong here it pushes and pushes it way through my depressions are born watching my family struggle all life had in store for me was and still is my own head i let things get to me not intentionally much of it comes to me asking for my help and i'm just so tired of what you may think tired of the work it takes to get through the day to want to live this evil that lurks and wants my soul NEVER NEVER NEVER will i give my soul to the devil this too shall pass i pray sooner than later tomorrow we go as a family to the pool my sister eldest daughter and her hubby little Eva Corissa weather is suppose to be awesome i pray for this to pass in Jesus i trust Amen! |
A strong hold
Father
Brother Mother Oh for this hopeless feeling pass There is a terrible hold My feelings a number of NEGITIVE factors My well being affecting my mind Ripping away at this soul I stay close to you Father Brother hold me tight Mother give me your strength There is reality still to settle in The thaught of not being a productive human out in the workforce and even though I have put in my time you get that one Father as you were there all my life Why must I suffer depression at this point in life why must it be so overwhelming and out of coping skills I talk with my shrink This week will be interesting he just listens and confirms "no an easy life Eva" No turd get this out of me I don't want it anywhere near it It consumes to much of my life Strips me of happiness I hate being restricted I hate having to take Meds I hate my depression because of it I hate that my family suffers I hate that evil has such a hold I hate the people who hurt me I hate the hospitals I have no trust in the human anymore I have given of myself in ways that gone above and beyond anything to help my family I hate the misconduct of anyone disrespectful towards anyone who was just there for you in everyway There a blessings among us at all times It is the evil that robs it from you To fight this ruthless dare I say cancer It is powerful and I must overcome this feeling Of hopelessness It isn't It is this rat that keeps stealing the day Let it shine in my heart Let me kick this thing in its *** Let me be that take charge everyday every moment Let me not loose it I know my plate is full I also know one situation at a time This to I know will ease up a bit Never discouraging my baby Taught them the stars are theirs I need to practice this myself I have never experienced what I did two days ago "It" is slowly lifting Hope not to be visited by it sometime soon Me |
Eva,
I so understand your feelings. I have suffered from depression most of my childhood. After birth of children; especially the third; I learned years afterwards from a new doctor that I must have suffered very severe Post Partum Depression. Through the Grace of God, I slowly climbed out of that "dark hole". But once experienced; it is always there waiting to claim it's hold on you. It is a lifetime battle. Eventually I learned to avoid many of the signs that would try to claim me. I pray daily to the Holy Spirit to grant me the Grace, Strength, Courage and willingness to cope and accept what God permits to happen to me. And to Guard, Strengthen, Spare me from Despair, Despondency, Depression, Hopelessness, Fear and Anxiety; filling me with love enthusiasm for God, for my Faith and my life. The awful pain we are dealing with makes us an easy target for depression. Knowing God is walking this walk with me gets me thru each day. I pray for all of us who are dealing daily with this battle. This will pass and the bright times will reappear. Gerry |
Depression
Gerry and Eva - I too, know this demon of depression well, as I think most of us dealing with chronic pain do.
Gerry, what you said about relying on God really resonated with me. I have always taken such comfort in knowing that before God allows ANYTHING - good or bad - to touch my life, that He has first held it in His hands. And in doing so, He has felt every bit of pain, happiness, sorrow, joy, sadness - He has felt it all before I feel it. That means that when it does touch my life - whatever it is, good or bad - it is covered by His fingerprints. The fact that He still allows it to touch my life gives me strength - because I know He wants to use whatever situation to either teach me something, to strengthen my faith, or to allow me to use my experience to somehow be a blessing and an encouragement to someone else. I think I would just crumble into a broken pile of dust if I didn't have the assurance that He brings everything into my life for a reason. I am so blessed by the two of you and the transparency with which you share your experiences - y'all are truly an encouragement to me! =Becky |
dear ladies
from both
the wisdom the experience you both share strengthen me in our Almighty as we understand all as it is suppose to be i so love you for caring and sharing be well God bless us all |
pull up
hey Eva....hang on to that glimmer of Light you see....pull yourself out....
there was a trigger to it...my depression episodes lay in wait for a "sad" moment ...I put up my guard when I encounter just normal sad things in life. I have learned how to nurture my spirit with my garden or the pool, Think about the triggers and how to prevent them if you can. I understand how hard it is to put ourselves first...so foreign as we (you and I) take care of others first...this is my greatest life lesson....to put myself first. Right here when you need support. HB (said the codependent who is laughing out loud at herself) |
Becky,
I pray your surgery will be successful and the God given strength to cope with your recovery. Your understanding of what I felt inspired to write today truly touched me. You confirmed everything so beautifully. Gerry |
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I love you Me Everything I need to hear |
Amen
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In this confirmation of Women empowering other Women Stand in the Spirit As you so beautifully reminded me Your Spirit filled heart a priceless gift Me |
and the beat goes on
Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day blessings to all especially those who suffer pain in all forms it was an uneasy night all areas from groin hip knee feet hands beat with a pain as if i had an on and off button and someone is messing with me it wakes me as it cannot be worked out deep in my joints my surgery site is always an issue just cannot believe all this time gone by and no getting better i hear from my sister my birth mother has RA she was receiving some form of iv treatment was told it will stop as it does not help i understand she too is in some terrible pain both myself and my sister are ruled out having RA degenerative bone disease we all suffer from my two sisters have grown in the sane area since coming into the USA I was 5 years old my sister 3 my last sister born here in the USA WE ALL STAYED what most people around the world know as the Tri-State area only i am across the river Lincoln Tunnel 5 minutes to the City that never sleeps only on this side of the river all along Newark, Bayonne, Elizabeth, Linden and so many other cities with towering smokestacks eliminating who knows what over the years living along the strip known as cancer alley of longshoremen and then 911 only God knows the elements of irresponsible factory working people only to die by the hands of illegal dumping in our waters air soil and now we are concerned those who prospered in ways that in the end killed their workers i detect a little resentment EVA you got it Father Blessings to all the immigrants who entered this country in the hopes of free dreaming when my parents became citizens my father was sad sad to see the fast world back in the late 60's 70' my years as a young girl going to school not understanding anything just me and my sister my father always tried not for us to be Americanized it made him sad to see how greedy impolite unfair to a man disable oh it was prevalent in my home town and things are not much different it is where i can call my boss on his turd politics hate to love it soooooooooooo much corruption sooooooooooooo much greed all i want is to get back on the saddle it just hurts to much my town knows me well enough in the municipal clan what i stand for this a life long accomplishment and to have reached a point when life is exciting and i am stuck stuck in a body that cannot sit in a chair no more than a half hour and i need to get up while in up position maybe another half hour before i need to lie down on my left side fetal position and it hasn't gotten any better in any way my head still how i would love to take it off for it's to heavy to have on my shoulders my bodily functions are harder and worse as the days go by i hear myself for the thousandth time it is just sometimes i can't believe i thought it was a stiff neck and all the others put in the basket of good old fashion body aging for my young mind be trapped in this compromised body and know i would have had a better chance if i hadn't suffered the immediate inability to drain properly and it undo whatever he did was damaged by the gross swell and he knows it oh does he know it if i had more time to heal after my first fusion and NOT return back in the two weeks might i have fused unfortunately that was not my case i still have it on the burner hoping someone would be willing to fight a well prepared file to show so many erroneous statements including my sexual violation Father how do i get up every single day what was put upon me Father i know sending him "the picture" of yet another hematoma as i was drained and released the following morning for it to grow over two nights called him told him i took a "picture" so i could see it my children rushed me to the hospital not a word out of his mouth just drained, drained, drained and drained sent me on my way my daughter with me the whole time Father how when it is still so clear in my mind when i wake up in pain wench on and on and go on my meds given from the very beginning as more evolved out of this and i decline those who follow understand this is something i speak with my therapist it to a affirmation i am sane i am not of the norm i have a different hope that people are who they are and for him to say to me still to date "eva are you surprised (he refer to the mean spirited people) and i say yes and i still am the same give benefit of doubt i still await someone to hear from someone i took into my life as a true sister the chances of the parallel down to our nationality mothers best friends names the same very much no other explanation to it but FAITH in DIVINE INTERVENTION and yet to hear from her since her last visit a month ago she stayed the week that couldn't have been more chaotic my daughter picked up two days before she came certainly not something you want to have going on while having company so needed her faith she is doing well as she suffered a brain bleed and has come along wonderfully i am tired of waking up feeling worn out and physically distraught having to pump up myself everyday Father i ask as i go through this physical torment that you grant me freedom of anger i pray you rip it from my brain heart being all together it has no room anymore things are as they are to be and that's me understanding logically i have no shame in my hopeful attempt but because my family needed help i felt sure i would not experienced what my son did and still no restitution twice had no chance for a third and life still had to go on with a heavy heart it takes on the world help me Father in my Blessings keep my family from falling apart i trust and believe it is thy will be done Amen! help me with Corissa in Jesus name help her Amen |
Blessings
Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day For all who need MM to help with all the coverage it has now come to the forefront For the babies who suffer seizures over a hundred a day to the cancer patients for the relief of some nerve related issues New York has made it legal to have MM to those who need IT It will be a 7 year "pilot" It cannot be smoked To eat it or the idea such as the E cigarette Father I know this to be a blessings to many Such as my daughter her doctor in NYC Here in Jersey hoping Chris jumps on board I do believe if not careful depending on the individual and their genetic make up concerning addictive personality could be a gateway to other drugs including alcohol And this when used recreationally NOT MEDICALLY Where it is so much needed Good going Governor Cuomo It is my wish that this plant be used as it too was given by our creator In Jesus Christ I trust Our brother Jesus Oh to be touched by you Father to know you are in my being that evil does not prevail that my children grow with you in their heart To the wonderful place I can come to and share my experience strength and hope May we all empower each other with information that is priceless Thank you Me |
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just found this picture of the whole family my 3 daughters and my son and my granddaughter taken on Christmas
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now you understand why i cry over my dog
this is my dog with sara eve |
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