I've been having strange dreams
 

I dreamed that I was under total control of a dominating type person,and I couldn't get away. I was trying to get away from the person,and I rolled off the couch,and woke up suddenly.:eek: I'm a big guy,and I don't know what it's like to be dominated. After that dream I sort of do now.

I've had other strange dreams too,but this was the only dream where I rolled off of the couch,or bed. It might be the medication,but that's all right. The medications are very beneficial. There are a few side affects that I'm living with,but the medications only help a little.

Some of these dreams feel so real. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Friend,
I had an intense disturbing dream last night. Usually I can forget my dreams but I guess I woke up in the middle of it. Maybe it was good that you rolled off the couch and woke up so that the dream stopped.

M

Hi Mari. Yes. It was like I was paralyzed,and tried to move with all of my strength,and I roled onto the floor. I was trying to get away from a dangerous person. I woke up immediately. Dreams are strange.

The dream was not anything that I think of. It came out of the blue. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Friend,

Next time, move one finger. That can wake you up from this state. You probably do not need to move your whole body. Were you sleeping on your side? Back?

What you experienced was probably Sleep Paralysis:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis
Also:
http://dreamsnightmares.com/sleepparalysis.html

http://www.end-your-sleep-deprivatio...paralysis.html
Paralyzed at Night: Is Sleep Paralysis Normal?

M

Mari Thank you for the wealth of information on sleep disorders,and paralysis.

When I woke up from the dream on the floor,I had a area of skin on my arm that was red,but I didn't break the skin. I hit some furnature on the way down. I think that the pink area was on the upper part of my right forearm.

I'm not sure,but I may have hit the floor on my right side,and ended head up. I may have been in the head up position before I fell on the floor. In the end of that dream I remember that I sort of felt paralized. I remember pushing myself real hard to get away from the danger,then ended up on the floor. I woke up completely,and walked away.

I was thinking,"Good Gosh. What a dream!!!" BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Steve,

these types of "dreams" are typical in sleep paralysis. it is actually an in-between state when you are waking up or falling asleep. the "dreams" are sometimes called hypnagogic (falling asleep) or hypnopompic (waking up) hallucinations. they are often characterized by an ominous/menacing/evil presence in the room, or even on top of you, and a sense of pressure on the thorax.

i had these happen before, but a particular dose of seroquel, and the antidepressant effexor (individually) caused me to have these regularly and multiple times a night. if this happens to you, please contact your doctor.

trying to move a finger, or open your eyes, is a good attempt to break out. however it doesn't always work. sometimes, your brain gives you the feedback that you moved, when in fact you did not.

however, now that you know what is going on with these states, you may be able to gain greater lucidity during these states, which is what has helped me most:

i try to stay calm and keep reminding myself that none of the threats are real, and that everything will stop naturally. the "dreams" can be extra-ordinarily vivid, so it can be hard not to let fear overcome you, but try to "let go" and just remind yourself the experience is self-limiting. it will end either in waking, or in sleep.

i am sorry you are experiencing this. i know how awful it can be, but awareness of the process will help you, i am sure. i am glad you didn't damage yourself too badly falling off the couch. :o:eek:

((( gentle hugs )))

~ waves ~

Vivid dreams can be terrifying, sorry that you had such a dream.....
hoping that you don't have it again.
bizi

Hi brokenfriend
 

I can relate to a few bad dreams. The kind you wake up in a sweat, and real glad it was just a dream. I am glad you didn't hurt yourself rolling off the bed! When I get a bad dream, I get up, move around a bit, and tell myself again, it was just a dream. They can be quite disturbing, and I have woken myself up with tears before. No more for any of us.....ginnie

Friend,

That is an intense experience. I used to have those. The benzos seemed to help.
Try sleeping on your side. Some people do better on their sides.

Our brains are amazing territories that still have to be mapped and charted.

M

I thank you all for your input,and encouragement.
 

Somethings going on in my mind. It's not anything unusual. I had another dream that I can't remember. Then today I became obsessed by a fearfull bunch of thoughts,and I remembered that yesterday I had a different obsessive group of fearful thoughts.

I thought about yesterdays obsession,and realized that this is also an obsession,so I let them go. The subjects where different.

It seems like these obsessions come in threes,in my mind. Strange stuff.

At one time I was waking up with panic attacks. That was a scary time. That was back when I wasn't on to much medicine. That was a difficult time in my life.

These obsessions are like a minor panic period of intense worrying. I try to divert my thinking to another subject if I can.

Space movies like Battlestar Galactica,Star Trek,Stargate SG-1,and programs like that help me to think about something else. There are less,and less of these programs now. BF:hug::hug::grouphug::grouphug::hug::hug:

I had another obsession last night,and it really hit me hard. I couldn't dismiss the thoughts. BF:hug::hug::hug:

hopefully that should be "it" for a while?
 

(((:circlelove: Steve :circlelove:)))

well that makes three then. so, hopefully, you will be free of them for a while.

sending hugs and wishes for peace of mind.

~ waves ~

I am hoping that you sleep soundly tonight and wake up rested.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hello BF
 

I sure wish that bad thoughts would leave you alone. It is so not fun to have dreams and thoughts that hurt. Wish there was something I could do to make them go away. Have you ever tried reading right before bed? It may get your mind into a different place, especially if the book is somewhere you would like to be. Just an idea, that may change your minds behavior. I am reading "State Of Wonder" I am in the amazon Jungle, and I have been dreaming about the jungle since I started the book. take care ginnie

This may be to painful for some people.
 

That last obsessive group of fearful fixation thoughts,and feelings where about 5 times worse then the other two groups. What triggered it was something that I read on the internet,and these thoughts lasted for about 18 hours. I'm still not out of it yet. This type of thing caused me to go to the hospital about 2 1/2 years ago. I forgot how bad it can get.

I wish that those actors who are going through this would write about it so that people could understand. I didn't do anything to get mental health problems. I wish that people would lobby for us in Washington,and I wish that there wasn't a stigma about this. I wish that they could raise money to research these illnesses,and to educate the public to not reject us,but to embrace us,and our troubles,and help. Brokenfriend:grouphug::hug::hug::hug:

I'm starting to calm down,and hopefully I'll feel better for a period of time. I do hope so. It's always strange how this type of thing unfolds. I can't help it.

It's almost like it has to run it's course,once I have become that upset. The thing that was upsetting me is not a current problem,so hopefully I can lay that fear down,and calm down. It was a real problem,and I was freaked out. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Friend,

Lots and lots of hugs :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I hope each day and each moment get better for you.


Mari

Dear Steve

i'm sorry you had such a terrible bout this last time. i do hope you feel better soon. i am sending lots of comforting thoughts and hugs your way :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

I am hoping that you recover quickly from this bout of anxiety. Staying out of the hospital means you are better handling the anxiety this time around.
hang in there. stay strong, keep posting.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I'm still not feeling right. I'm going to have to push myself to get out of the house to buy some food,and cat supplies.

I still am having pains in my chest,feel tired,feel dread,sensitive to light...I think that this is depression. My interest in life has dropped.

I just don't know. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Friend, :hug: :hug: :hug:
This could indeed be depression. I hope you can feel better soon.
Your plans to push yourself to buy food and cat supplies are good -- as long as you are up to that. Sometimes getting out to bring stuff home is how we nurture ourselves. I feel better when I have my supplies . . . . maybe this makes sense . . . I don't know.

Are you sensitive to sunlight or only light in the house?

Mari

(((Steve)))
i agree this sounds like a depressive phase. taking care of the basics, like you are trying to do - get food for you and kitty, is the most we can do sometimes, and it is hard to do, too. so i wish you well with that. you also describe a lot of anxiety which often comes with depression, but may partly be left over from that bad spell you had with the obsessions. and could be the depression is sort of a backdraft of that too. but if it doesn't pass, or if it gets worse that you feel unsafe, please call your doctor, ok?

but fo rnow just focus on basic survival - get food. let that be your mission.

we are here. come back and tell us how you are doing when you are up to it.

sending lots and lots of hugs :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug;:hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Dear BF
 

I so wish there was something I could say to lift your spirit. My son too is in a deep depression, and I have been there before too. It does make just normal existance hard. Is there anything I can do for you to help? I do not even know why my own depression lifted. I take zoloft. Maybe that was it. It sure broke through the fog I was in. I am facing another surgery which usually triggers another go round, but this time I am keeping my head. I have been somewhat diagnosed as bi-polar, but I don't know. I just know that coming back here to NT has helped more than anything else I did. I will keep you in y thoughts and prayers. take care of yourself, do something nice for yourself today. ginnie

I agree with the others this sounds like depression andr you anxiety. Try to not watch tv if that seems to be a major trigger for you. And also watch what you watch on the internet.
keep posting we are listening.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hey Mari Thank you. I think it's depression,and it sometimes wants to dip into despair,and fear.

I seem to not want to see sunlight. Then I don't want to see any light. With tv,the reruns of the shows that I like have disappeared. It sure seemed to help to see,"Star Trek the next generation",and shows like that late at night.

I made a mistake at Facebook,and went to the obituarys of my fellow graduation class members,and saw that some have passed away early. Two committed suicide. One I knew about years ago. This is bothering me. One was in the Marine Corps. In fact,this bothers me allot.

I was not able to go out today. I'll try tomorrow. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Oh I am sorry for your face book mistake.
Good luck getting out tomorrow.
hugs to you steve
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Waves Thank you so much. Yes. I'm still am not over that 18 hour strong obsession. That was so painful. I don't even want to go outside,and see anyone.

This has happened before. It's not the worse time that I've had. It's a group of unpleasent experiences that can come at any time. It mostly started around Christmas. BF:hug::hug::hug:

ginnie I'm so glad that the zoloft has helped you. I'm so glad that the Bipolar forum has helped also. It's good to talk to people who understand,and don't judge.

I hope that the surgery goes well,and I hope that you don't get depressed during that time. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Bizi I think that your right. TV is not very good,and the news is a real big trigger. I've never seen so much bad news at one time. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Bizi Yes. I should not have explored my graduation class news. I saw the death notices,or whatever they called it. I clicked into the link,and was shocked. I wrote down names,and couldn't believe it. I got in touch with a friend,and he told me about one of the suicides. Very tragic,but aren't they all. The other one was so sad. BF:hug::hug::hug:

i'm so sorry...
 

Dear Steve

my sincere condolences for the loss of your former classmates, and the tragic circumstances in which they occurred.

i am sorry, too, that you happened to find out just now, when you are already sailing stormy seas. however that isn't your fault. how could you ever have imagined. :( you could not foresee this. in fact, looking them up could have been a positive, reassuring experience for you, had the reality been different. so, please don't blame yourself. (that's some false guilt coming in, methinks.)

i do hope you start feeling overall better soon, although i know the shock and grief over these events will take longer... that is natural.

maybe can make it out today, or tomorrow. i'm sending warm thoughts and hugs :circlelove:

~ waves ~

i am so sorry. what a shock.
bobby

Dear Friend,

That is all distressing. Perhaps you are grieving.
Lots of hugs.

M

Thank you Waves. It was a shock,and those people mattered to me. My childhood best friends sister commited suicide right after high school graduation. I wanted to know why,but never asked. She didn't seem that unhappy,but I guess she was. The other deaths where news to me,and so many of them.

Another shocking suicide was my other childhood friends niece. She stepped out on a railroad track in the New Jersey area last year,and the train was going about 130 miles an hour. What's going on!!! Why didn't she reach out to get help?

I guess I'm all depressed. I got to the bank,and went to the store today,and got what I needed to get.

I was singing yesterday in my den,and the cat came over,and licked me on the cheek,and then she went back to her little bed. I thought that was so cute.

I just don't feel like doing anything right now. I had pain much of last night due to this anxiety. I'm so tired. I don't have a passion for any of my hobbies,or anything else right now. Therapists sometimes say,"What do you have a passion for in life?" I feel sort of numb right now,and don't enjoy anything.

I'll get through this. I hope that I don't get into a obsession of intense anxiety,and fear. That's the worse. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Hy bobby I hope that you are doing OK. Thank you. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Thank you Mari. I was depressed,and anxious before the news of those deaths. It is distressing like you said,and I do feel grief.

Benjamin Franklin said,"With the passing of time is the healing of grief".
This to shall pass. BF:hug::hug::hug:

maybe after some good sleep you might feel better in the morning.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I'm sorry that I don't read to many posts at this time. It seems to cause the anxiety pain in my chest to get worse. I do have a reading problem,and I have to force my eye's to keep going some times. Maybe it's pushing through my OCD,and that's causeing the anxiety. I seem to be the only person I know to have this. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Thank you Bizi Your right. I need to get to bed earlier. If I stay up beyond a certain time,I can't seem to sleep unless I'm exhausted. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Friend,

I hope you sleep tonight. :Zzzz:

M