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Every day is worse...
Within 24 hours I went off the deep end. I cannot handle people. I think I am going to sign myself into the psych unit. I can't take any more of this.
I can't deal with all the stress people bring. They don't get it...my mind is not capable of figuring it out. I told my own daughter to take a hike. I think I have truly lost my mind :( |
Hang in there and try not to take any of your anger out on your family.
The sad truth is that most people to no really get brain injuries, as sad as it sounds. Just like most of couldn't comprehend how debilitating seemingly benign things like dizziness and vestibular migraines can be pre-injury. Does the added stress of being around other people worsen your symptoms? For me the added stimuli is too much for me to process and I feel dizzy, and have difficulty thinking when I am in a room with more than 2-3 people. For the last 19 months I have been spending most of my time alone and although it is not the most mentally healthy thing a person can do, it is better than feeling really crappy all the time. |
My entire life has been destroyed by this car accident and these medical issues. I was a resident of a completely different state than I had my accident. I ended up stuck in the state that I had the accident because of all of the medical problems. I have no home of my own, people here, I haven't seen in over 25 years....and no resources.
My daughters dad whom we never got along, was letting me stay there for a period and he constantly screams at me because he says I am ignoring people or that this is all in my head. Now, I am stuck somewhere with no resources. I can't think straight on a regular basis, let alone with someone screaming at me or belittling me. |
I am so sorry to hear these struggles. Hard to imagine your life being flipped upside down in a matter of seconds. It's so familiar to all of us. We may have different symptoms but definitely one thing in common- we are trying to deal with this "new" life and the struggles each day brings.
I have been to the psych unit. You get meds and you get sent home, everything still there when you return. I am battling inner turmoil and feel I am on the brink of true insanity. My mind races constantly and I feel scared, nervous and lonely. Please don't give up. We have to keep fighting this and use what good health we have left. I always have to tell myself it really could be worse. I know that's not comforting but I'm thankful that I'm not paralyzed and trapped with these thoughts. At least I'm able to move and try and do things to ease my mind. I hope you can find some comfort somewhere. |
My doctor told me the other day, all of this instability is not helping my symptoms. But how do you become stable without a means too...
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I'm so really sorry it's so difficult for you right now.
I hope my questions aren't too personal. Do you have somewhere safe at the moment where you can stay? I'm not sure if I'm understanding correctly but are you still staying at the house where your daughter's dad lives? If not do you have somewhere else to live? Is there a social worker or someone in your town or city who can help you sort out some of the practical day to day decisions for you. Your doctor should be able to help you find someone. If you don't want to publicly post where you are, then you could do that via private message. There must be resources available to you in this type of emergency situation. I'm sorry it's so hard. :hug: |
I'm in Australia, so I'm not sure who would be a good contact for support there.
There is the Brain Injury Association - click on State for resources http://www.biausa.org/state-affiliates.htm Most States will have a Protection and Advocacy section. That's to sort out appropriate support and services. I'm sure other members here would have suggestions of people to call if you need assistance. |
Here are the facts: I don't qualify for public assistance as I do not have children under age 18. I can't get housing assistance, as I do not have a job to pay the difference. I can live in a homeless shelter. Social Security will expedite my case because of my circumstances.
Pretty much...I am on God's good Humor right now |
What state are you in now and what state did you live in ?
Do you have any support if you could move back to your home state ? |
I was at my parents house for a month, until this tuesday... I have been back home and everything is stressing me out... my headaches are raging ... I feel like a horrible mom... a horrible wife and a horrible friend... I am right there with you on the psych ward...
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I have bad days, and when I feel a little better I feel incredibly frustrated from social isolation, not being able to mentally engage myself (can't read a book, for instance), just being at home where no one really gets me. Then, when I have bad days, I am in too much pain to feel the frustration. This is madness.
I cannot handle multiple people either, I notice that my comprehension and processing slow down and speech becomes more challenging. |
Thanks everyone. I needed to hear your words.
I really went off on a very angry rampage yesterday. I don't know if it the head injury or I am just out of tolerance. I feel like everything is out of control, and I can't figure it out. My main issue is problem solving...that used to be one of my best skills. Not so much anymore. I face a problem, and I don't know what to do with it. Then I feel every emotion all at once, and then I get angry. I know I can't stand all of the comments, that I need to just be positive...or all of the other negative stuff that attempts to make me look like I am crazy. I guess I just need to isolate myself more from everyone. I know I hurt my daughter very badly yesterday and I am sure she will not forgive me so quickly. |
Something that may help. When you try to apologize to your daughter, be transparent. Tell her that you know you messed up. Tell her than messing up upsets yourself even more than it can upset her because you don't want to hurt her. Ask her to help you when you need a break. Give her permission to help take care of you. "Mom, you need to take a break. I can tell you are approaching your limit. " Tell her what she can do to help.
I think you can figure out how to take it from here. Kids rarely see their parents 'fall on their own sword.' I've been there. It is a miserable place to be. We are here for you. |
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I almost think her and her dad don't know what to do with the information given to them. They are both used to me being on top of the game, and full force at everything. I almost feel like they test me to see if it is really true, that I do have something wrong with me. I just feel very alone in this with my family. I feel like I am on the edge of a cliff, and they push and push....to see if I am really going to fall off :( |
I get better then go back to where I don't wanna be...the way my mind is now that it's like I think ahead to like fun things like Christmas and I think that I will feel like this at Christmas and then I start thinking that I will deal with this forever...it sucks!!!
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