need help. possible trigger.
 

Hi, All,

I'm obsessing about the office.

My ex-colleague tried to take his own life in Oct 07. He came very close to succeeding and is not the same.
He was officially let go from the work in May 08

Somehow I feel a need to keep cleansing the place.
Also I am trying to bring in love and good feeling -- plants, nice pictures, . . .

I put some of his things in my car. I had an idea that I would take them to his boyfriend's house or mail them or something. But I am stuck with them for right now.. . . the ex-roommate/colleageu is getting treatment out of town and the boyfriend is hard to reach. I should dump the stuff. Lots of it I threw out. I have one heavy box and one painting left.

. . . Feeling stuck.

I'm very angry at him. Also sad.

I see tdoc tomorrow/ Friday but I have brought this up with her before and she does not seem interested. Maybe I need to be more clear.

M.

Mari
 

It sounds like a heavy burden. You have a lot of heart. Try to let go of the burden. Remember the friend. Call his friend,and tell him where you can put your former colleageu's stuff to pick up. It's not your burden big heart. Love ya Mari. BF:hug:

can you bring the box etc back to work and find a storage area for it and let his friend pick it up? I believe in vibrations. You definitely have to be more clear. Also maybe you have to point out to her that you know what it is important to you and at times she doesn't seem interested. Why not put her on the defensive? I had a bad reaction when I read your words that you thought she might not be interested..
I forgot the herbs but I think there are herbs that you can put in your office for cleansing the place.
Bobby

Oh Mari, I am so sorry you're suffering in silence like this, it's got to be simply awful having his stuff in your car, like Bobby said I would try to put it back in the office for awhile, maybe cover it up with a sheet or something in a corner until one of they is reachable...I definitely would get it OUT Of your car...I fully understand the anger and all, it's like this guy threw your work life up in the air with his cry for attention, while it's sad for him he's that desperate, his energy lingers in the office because he's irresponsible and thoughtless enough to just leave it instead of sending someone for his things, which I know I would have done MONTHS ago had it been me...

Sage is the herb I think Bobby was referring to, the Indians use it to purify places, but I doubt they will let you light a sage stick and blow the cleansing smoke all around the office, that's how it's used. But what about some crystals? Amythest are for healing and buying some rough ones are not cheap but they are uplifting to look at, do you have a local rock shop there? We used to have this awesome one called Crystal Connection, I bought all my stuff there, they had the greatest deals on rough natural gemstones. You can buy them tumbled into neat shapes, or even shaped into little crystal spheres, I have one still, it's in my fishtank. :D

If you want to charge up a crystal, y ou set it in the sun for awhile, like a few hours, a day or something so it really soaks up the sun, this also cleanses its vibes. So don't be afraid of using crystals to soak up the bad vibes in the office, do this is you want, and take it home and put it out in the full day sun on the weekend, if you want more info on using crystals let me know and I can try to recommend a good book or two. :D

Try to cheer up, this is the final stretch, I know it's awful right now but things WILL get better soon. I thought you'd put the last box of stuff in the lost and found office Mari, I am so sorry you are stuck with his belongings in the office. It will be over soon, but in the meantime crystals might help ease the mental mood of the room. I am sorry your T didn't catch on that it's important to you to talk about this, so you just talk with us, we know it's bothering you and talking can help...We're here for you Mari! :D :hug:

I just posted on the other thread. I don't know the back story here...seems much is going on and I'm sorry.
This is great that you are seeing the t-doc. You might want to make an extra appointment in the days/weeks to come. It's hard when we are so very tired and not feeling well, but try to face the problem with actions that will help to get through and not be reacting to heartache. (Hope that made sense).
I love the idea of a plant for the office...go for it. You might consider doing the same for your house.
I mentioned on the other thread that if you are also trying to get clutter out of your home and you are overburnded by the extra work at the office and a bad back, you might want to see if you could hire someone for an hour or two to help you. Are there any teenagers in your life, etc?
I think when we have extra work and are not feeling well...this is NOT the time to be frugal. A little help can go a long way to get that push forward.
In addition: nurture, nurture, nurture.
Put yourself into overdrive in this department....long baths, go to bed a little earlier, buy yourself a little treat, read something joyful.
I hope you feel better soon.
p.s. Were you the one that mentioned a book on regression? I just bought it...it is AWESOME!

Thank you.

Your notes inspired me to get unstuck.
After I read your replies I went to UPS and dropped off the box and the painting for them to wrap and ship. I was late for the tdoc but relieved to get that task done.

It cost me 65 dollars to mail that junk one zip code away.

I feel better.

M.

I am sorry it cost so much but it's done, good going Mari! You are awesome, you know that right? :D Hope things start feeling better in the office again. :D :hug:

Missed being here to support, sorry
 

So glad you shipped it off. And hoping you get the office cleansed.

Sending you hugs.

Donna

Thank you.
 

I am touched by your responses.
I will return to this thread after I sleep.

Mari

I am so happy for you. Now hopefully it will be all be put to rest
bobby

Mari
 

Mari That False burden is out of there. Sorry that you had to pay dollars,and cents for it. Let the maintenance dept. take care of the rest. You have done enough. Drop the burden... cast it off you. You heart is intact. BF

Dear Vowel Lady,
Which book are you reading?
Which ever book it is, I'm glad that it is helpful.
Mari

still complaining about my back
 

The usual thing to do at my work when someone leaves it to take the stuff you want and throw out the rest. But he didn't exactly retire or move. He stopped coming in because he ended up in the ER.


I shared an office with this person for 10 years. We were sort of friends. In the end he was leaning on me alot more than I wanted him to so I was setting boundarie by telling him to call his tdoc/ pdoc. I told him that I was not the one to help him.

Then he took short term disabiility from work.
He came back and lasted about 2 months.
I couldn't toss all of his stuff out in the garbage in one full swoop out of respect. Also, I wanted to have a certain amount of class/ sense of decorum in front of my other colleagues.


Here is what I tossed out in the hallway/trash since december 07

-all teaching materials (contents of 2.5 filing cabinets, bookcase, desk . . .)
-lots of books
-about 10 years worth of unused teaching supplies (enough through 2018 - - some of these I put back in the supply cabinet, but some I admit to tossing in the hallway
-all bureaucratic and administrative junk
-framed pictures and prints,
-photos
-a mirror
-a lamp
-very large clear glass vase
-pillows for his back
-coffee maker
-supplies and materials for tea
-massive amounts of cleaning supplies
-clock radio
-faded posters
-tchotchkes
-huge macrame wall hanging
-a crappy half piece of a desk that barely sat on a half book case
-an ugly file cabinet
-lots of plastic and metal desk and file organizers


Things I took to UPS for them to pack and mail last week:

-books of US poetry and some Italian language learning books that were unrelated to his teaching and seemed personal
-lots of odds and ends from the desk like pocket= sized old phone books
-a stuffed animal an administrator gave him at a big meeting when he (the roommate) returned from 1.5 years of disability
-a sweater
-a coffee mug that seemed to have a personal meaning
-a framed (w/glass) painting of a show poster a friend had painted when he played the lead in a show many years ago)

In truth, none of this was important. I put in a box and shipped because I didn't want him to ask about the other stuff.


Things I kept in the office mostly because they are too heavy to pay to mail to him:
-2 huge dictionaries (on their sides, each dictionary has about 12 inches of pages (I can use a good fat dictionary anyway, but one is enough)
-plaques and awards
-5 inch binder of materials he had put together for promotion a few years ago.
-one folder of stuff that I can use for a committee I am on
-a rented graduation gown that had not been returned and that someone else can use
-a stapler and about five other smaller things that I put in a drawer because I was getting tired
- 2 small and outdated altases that didn't fit in the box -- I can use these perhaps
-one box of materials related to teaching that another teacher had specifically asked me about


Neither he nor the boyfriend asked for any of this stuff -- except that the painting was mentioned last Christmas. He sustained brain damage and might not remember much.


I re-injured my back yesterday when the cleaning lady helped me sort through some of my boxes. I could barely move by the end of the day. But sleeping last night seemed to help.
I've got emotional stuff happening.
I'm not sure what to do.
Maybe I should go to the gym and sauna and work up a sweat.

Mari

I have crystals and plants all over the office.
And I burn sage when I stay late.

We are about to lose power here with the thunder and lightening. I have to get off computer.

Oh I am so sorry you're in pain Mari, I wish you felt better, I am glad you mentioned having crystals and burning sage, I feel better for you now knowing what kind of good vibes you are and have been surrounding yourself with! Awesome! :D How does the office feel now that most of the stuff is gone? :D

I think going to the sauna would be a definate plus.

Sending good vibes.

Donna

You have been dealing with alot of emotional stuff...your back is telling you to rest...you ae doing too much.
I too am glad that you are getting rid of his stuff from your office, some would say this is having to deal with closure.
I worry about you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

On Thursday I called the secretary at work.
She said that the painters had just completed painting my office.
That's good.
I asked about cleaning and waxing the floor. She said that she didn't know and would be on vacation for the next 2 weeks.

Maybe next week I will drive in to see if they did the floors.
I want to start moving furniture back in and put my stuff away.

Mari

My parents will be here in five weeks. Ugh.
 

:eek: :eek: :eek:

My parents have stopped talking on the phone about my ever coming to see them again. They know that I won't.
So last year they came for Labor Day and this year they will be here for Labor Day weekend again.
I am trying not to stress.
They will stay in a hotel and borrow my car.

M.

It just shows how fast time speeds...it almost seems like yesterday you were worried about their last visit. I hope it goes as well as the last one. Is your father going to bring you reading material to go over? I wonder if your mother will wear the skirt you bought you. How long will they be staying? I wish you the best of luck. They sound unpredictable.
Bobby