How Do I do this properly
 

I have been dancing this dance--going Doctor to Doctor---I get such conflicting info - It really T'ees me off-----These putzes some of them in their Lab coats---Ughh!---

MS is painful--Its NOT---Its MS---Its NOT-----Its a bad back--Its NOT------Your Depressed--That was great--they sent me to the Psychologist---She was like---You have a deep faith---Your active in other peoples lives, helping---You have an everyday hobby-----You need to get outta your pain---That is what has you depressed-------Um Duh---Not to her---She was nice-----like a sister------I went to return and she moved to another State----Then I was depressed------

OK---I get Anxiety attacks when I go to the Doctors-----Not why most think-----Its being a form of a cop----I am in control----I get so frustrated with these people---Some who are very demeaning---IE a surgeon in Beth Israel in Boston-----Rudest man ever------I wanted to deck him------I can't----1 am not strong enough---2 its wrong-------
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Now---My fear is I am going to die or be left in my pain----I am being punished for the Doctors ineptness--------2 years of my life has been raped from me---

I fear without a plan I will NOT see the other side--------And with my anxiety attacks caused from doctors visits---I really do not like to make more appointments---Kinda a cyclical suicide unfortunately------

Again 2 years 4 months ago---I could run 'bout 4-6 miles--Jog well over 10---until I was bored-----225 in weight --little body fat-----Played, hockey ,football and softball-----Hockey and football at a competitive level-----I got injured at work badly-----Then-----Everything went wrong----Plus my original injury wont heal!!!!! Now that is amazing------and frustrating---

What I need is help--:eek:--Ya no duh----

I need help with a plan of attack------If not---I just know I will die....That is not hyperbol...

I will listen to any and all---Thanks--

Sheesh, Honey, I am so so sorry, you are in such pain and seem to be getting no help..:mad:

My old Neuro was also a Neuro Psych. and he really helped me get through my depression and anxiety issues....mostly with meds, but the right meds for me and that's important. He tried different meds until we found my med.

I know that chronic pain can cause depression but it works the other way....Depression causes pain too!! The right Doc, counseling and Med are out there for you.

Don't give up and I will pray hard for you to find your way..:hug:

Hey Pete,

Sounds like it is majorly sucking for you right now. I'd hug ya but I don't want to hurt you any more than you already are!

I see you are in MA. How about a pain clinic? There's got to be one near you in Worcester, or maybe Dartmouth Hitchcock? Boston?

The very first thing I would do is find a new neuro. That one's gotta go. I'd fill his face with every article on MS and pain that I could find before I left, and advise him to do some CEH's soon. Get your records first before you take him out.

Then I would start the interview process all over. Take all your records from ALL your docs with you. Let them know that you ARE in pain, and that if they are not willing to help you to tell you now so you don't waste your time or theirs. Ask for referrals from everyone you know. Get some input from the NMSS.

I started with a good neuro and he moved. I had a good NP and she moved. It took a long time to find another neuro I could work with (4 different docs) but I found one and I am happy with him. I go to see another PCP next week to interview him. At this point I am using a rural healthcare clinic down at the end of my road, but they keep switching docs in and out of the clinic and I need someone who knows me and what I am going through. Good thing I am not sick very often!

Good Luck and please let us know how it goes. It IS frustrating, but in the end, it's worth the work you put in, cause you get a doc you can live with who actually HELPS YOU!

So you are not dx with MS then? :confused:

They should be able to treat you for symptoms, which is about all we get out of having a dx anyway. Some of us live with constant pain, others have found ways (often drugs!) to manage it, and others only get it intermittently. I know how bad it can get, and many times they just "assume" it is the MS. I don't really care, so long as I get what I need to help get me through.

Hope things settle down for you, and you get the support every human being deserves!

Cherie

I will start here---I take generic ativan----My anxiety has gone thru the roof so they upped me to--2mg's is that right?---now check this out---On my last DR visit--I did the urine sample----The Doc could find No Ativan----I have been taking it---I think it was 60 minutes that did a show exposing the farce that is Generics---They tested many and found some were fake---some could be lethal etc-----Geez---I came up empty----Wonder why?

OK---Ativan---3x per day---
2 MS contin 30mgs---
Oxcycodone---10 MG allowed up to 6 per day----It doesn't do much-----
My Cholesterol med
Generic Fioricet When needed----I seem to get a headache almost daily in the morning----


This is apart from My Workers comp BS----The Surgeon who did my operation after studying my charts for a bit...Actually called me and told me -he understood why I was not healing well-----That was a relief---Yes-The Comp issue ruined my prior to the injury perfectly good right arm---Shoulder----

I also had muscle relaxers before---they did not work at all-----I went thru--Neurontin---Ultram---Its equivalent----Other types of morphine types----It seems I am getting reactions to more and more meds-------When I had a Migraine that was 7 days old------Could not even move-----The stuff they gave me in the ER---Turned me red---and gave me the worst anxiety attack I have ever exp----I hear that is common---The next time I ER'd it for a Migraine the other stuff did the same----Unless they lied to me-------


This said---I for one year lived on 8oo mg of Motrin----Now I look at 'em and my stomach hurts for weeks-----The pain meds make life somewhat bearable----After living in pain for so long---I can not deal with it------And feel I should not have to----I hear---You will get addicted----OK---great----I am in so much pain---All I did was--Well Nothing-----The meds give me a chance to get in the car and go with my family----Sit at the dinner table---ETC
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Right now--I am awaiting on my Settlement From the Dept...
The Docs agreed I should be retired----No they wont retire my number and hang it from the rafters:cool:

My wife took this time to move my kiddo's pretty darn far from me--But still in State----I am to weak to pick that fight---She knew it too---

So I try never to think of the bad---I involve myself in My love Horses---Of course not riding---- I read------ I am devout in my faith so I attempt to help others------I can not attend church----I spend my days alone---Maybe to alone--10 hours --I can not do stairs---so I am put in my reclining chair / couch at 7 and brought to my bed at about 7pm------I have 2 dogs---1 is helpful another is just cute-----But the helpful one gets so nervous when I fall---It gets me upset-----Sometimes she gets so nervous in her hyper movements while I am up she causes me to fall--Ouch==

Maybe I have said to much and muddied my original cry for aid-----

Or maybe I just babbled to talk-----

If so---Thanks for listening to this guy---I appreciate it--------

Thanks folks---I feel as if I am in the old game with Regis---And you folks are My Last Lifeline

I feel so very bad for you, Pete. :(

Even :hug: probably can't help, but I'll send you some anyway. :hug::hug::hug::hug:

Cherie

I went to the Arnold Pain clinic in Boston---It lived to its name---PAIN no relief------

I keep getting--Probable MS---Definitely not MS----Maybe MS-----

then to hear it takes years for some to get a dx----As you said---I do not care about a dx---I just wanna live---Have some quality---\

I had my 2nd MRI of my head--Many more white spots--Lesions---Lord it depends on the Dr--to what they call them---But I was floored by the advancement---And the medical communities lethargy concerning me---I get more questions concerning my Lawyer than I do my health---I always remind them ---He is my Workers Comp Atty---This is NOT COMP!!:)

My Grand Mother Passed away from MS--It was long ago----But even for then it was violent-----My Mom has lupus-------She is alive but her life was compromised terribly-----

My Dad'a Dad===My Noots---At 40 he had serious issues with pain--They thought was back----At 50 he passed---------I seem to be in his footsteps----He was a hard headed Italian---He did not go to the Dr----He just wilted from the pain---2 years before my birth---Both My Grand Mother And Noots were gone----

My PCP an earlier one wanted me DX'd and properly treated---That did not happen----But he is not an Opiate type Doc-----Umm--I am not an get high kinda guy either----But I lived with Motrin and then with opiates-----I can live some with the latter---

I have switched so many doctors---My head is spinning---I just need to find one who #1 has compassion #2 understands what it is I am dealing with--- #3 Helps me-----

To End----I had one Doc---Who was a lazy PCP---my last visit--tell me--He does not know how to manage pain----Find a new doc--------When my last script was up---I spent 3 days in Hell---Detox---Pain like I can't even begin to explain---How I did not Kill myself those 3 days was a miracle in its self-------I am still going to make a case to the Medical board for that----

Babbling again---Thanks for listening with your eyes---Thank you for you insight help and prayers..:hug:--I need those..

I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this Pete. I wish there was something I could do to help you through, but we both know there's not.

I commisserate with you on the chronic pain. I have chronic Optic Nerve pain, so I sure know what you're talking about. I don't think there's much worse than nerve pain, and whether you have a definite diagnosis or not, your pain doesn't know that.

I hope your spirits lift soon as you seem to have an awful lot to contend with right now.

Sending you some hugs, as I'm sure that knowing people care must at least be helpful in some way. I know it helps me.

So do the lesions/white spots not appear in the "right" areas of the brain, or are they the wrong size/shape?

Have they given you any ideas of what they might be, if not MS?

Is the pain from "whatever" this is that ails you, or from your WC situation? (Sorry, had to ask... :p).

Cherie

Oh its OK..

I am not sure---Some say wrong size and shape---Others say thats BS--but they can not make that DX--note my frustration..

They said oh Pete its from you history of smoking and migraines----Umm Dr--I don't did not smoke----And Just as of last year after I already had these things on my head--started getting headaches---

So this dance makes me--made me feel like a total loser drug seeker===I said to the Dr----Bud---I am a cop---I can find or get any drug better than what you give me---Idiot!!..

What confuses me--And I never asked is---If they know a Diagnosis could take years----Why do THEY play this game with real people? Is it the Ins Co?
Or are some that dumb? Or that heartless?

Back to the lesions---They had to be in the proper side for some to think Probable I would think------This one Neuro said my next MRI would look the same as the 1st one----To bad I never went back to her------You know who told me there was a change===a big one----My PCP....

Thanks for the questions---It helps me tremendously to think someone cares--:hug:

(((Pete)))..
I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this. This may be a time your need to control can help you most. Don't let them blow off your pain, or label you as a drug seeker. They did that to my daughter, released her from the hospital, and she died 24 hrs later. Find a doctor who will listen..REALLY listen. It's not always easy, but it can be done, and there's got to be one out there for you. I know chronic pain can suck the life out of you, but don't give up! You're very important and special to all of us, and know that you'll be in our hearts and our prayers that you'll be guided to just the person you need to help.

Pete,

I am so sorry you are experiencing so much, physical and otherwise.

I hear you on the generic vs. brand on prescriptions. I recently changed some of my meds to brand, and although it is VERY costly to do so (as insurance does not pay from brand when there is generic - or at least I haven't figured out how to get them to do so), it has been VERY worth it for me. Definitely better response to brand than the generic! What are farce we are told to believe - and I used to be a supporter of generics. Maybe for some things (antibiotics?) they are okay, but with the newer-type drugs that are more specialized, maybe the generics are just too far off from the original.

On the MS/Not-MS issue....my biggest question to you is - if you are dx with MS - will you take any of the MS-meds (CRABs, Ty, etc)? If yes, and you whole-heartedly believe you have MS, then I would fight for the dx. I guess the dx also helps if you want to go out on disability - so it might be worth it then, too. If you have a PPO, start calling neurologists in your area (and further away, too!) and make some appointments. There is a doctor out there who can and will help you. If you have an HMO, then you might have a fight ahead of you, but it's your health, so fight for it.

Re: pain relief, have you tried the old standards for the headaches (topomax, neurontin, etc.)? Cymbalta has also been helpful for some for both depression and pain (especially nerve pain). Another thing I have found is that oxycodone in the form of percocet (which is oxy and acetaminophen) didn't help me as much as the plain form of oxycodone which doesn't have any acet. in it. Something about the acet., for me, that blocks the narcotic from being effective. Same thing with vicodin - I would use norco, as it has less acet. than vicodin. It wasn't until I had the HiCy treatment, when I wasn't allowed anything with acetaminophen, that I learned that oxycodone without the acetaminophen existed. Might be worth a try. Obviously, I am all for medicating symptoms - especially when there isn't much to help with the MS itself per se.

There is a doctor out there who can and will diagnose you. You know, I was diagnosed the very first time I went to neurologist - with my very first exacerbation/symptoms. Went for MRI and the lesions blasted right off the screen, so to speak. That, along with my physical presentation/exam, warranted a diagnosis. I guess some would say that doesn't happen....but it did with me. And of course, I knew virtually *nothing* about MS when I found out about it. I didn't know at the time that that usually doesn't happen (such quick dx).

Sorry this was so long....wanted you to know you were being heard by so many of us. Maybe you didn't want "help" in this form, but I am all about sharing any "knowledge" that has come my way.

Don't give up the good fight....you are worth it!! Reach out to us when you need it!!

~Keri

Hi Pete,
I don't know of anything to say that hasn't already been said in the very good advice you were given by the others. I'll just tell you I'm keeping you in my prayers and I just know that there IS an answer. Don't forget you're not alone and we'll listen anytime and are here for you. Hang in there! :hug:

The wheels as I said earlier fell off-----My Wife---Number 2---For my friend Nea :hug:---Who I was a terrible friend to-----

Anyway---The wife was taking inventory of my Meds-----The dipstick lowered my Oxcy to 5 mgs---Which to some may be high---To me---6ft---Still a large man---5mg is like crushed ice---------So I missed my Christmas Eve--Christmas Day-------Any real time I may have seen with my kiddos---This was the 1st time I have seen them since Oct my Birthday---Because I was so miserable racked with total pain----Mr Dr---Did this without our Knowledge---My wife Balances everything around me------She works for the DA-----And we um need that job badly--------But she is my nurse--friend---Takes care of the chores--the animals---Washing me ETC---I know too many here can relate---So that snuck by----But why? Honest accident or malicious-------It marks when the wheels did come off------

For the little one here I wanna be strong----------But I can not deal with this BS----I wanna be positive----But I need to be comfy until we get some answers---Then---Maybe the answer is keep him comfy---Maybe it aint---

Love you folks----Sorry I can be a downer and a poor ungrateful friend-----Any I crossed---Please except my heartfelt sincere apology----I mean it----

You girls can teach this Deputy how to be strong....... Me----I can brag about the past----You can teach me to enjoy the now-----Hopefully I can fix the Doc situation before I am left with zero meds and too much pain and withdrawals-------And IE---I worked closely with the drug atticks withdrawing in the Infirmary-----I was always ready to do my job------But prayed with the men---And did what I could--------May the Universal Spirit keep that into account--I do not wanna be one of them---Lord NO!!

I sincerely believe that, when you are using narcotics for severe pain, you cannot become an addict, because the med is working on the pain. However, it's when you stay on the meds, full strength or more, after the pain has diminished, that you become that addict.

Although, not a narcotic, I was on Paxil for over 6 years, on the highest dose, when it seemed to stop working. I had heard such horror stories of the withdrawal symptoms and was afraid to get off.

My wise PCP didn't think I would have those symptoms, because I had used it properly and it had been properly prescribed for me, by my Neuro/Psych Doc. He replaced my PaxIl with a lower dose of Prozac, and he was right I had no withdrawal sx and the Prozac began to work for me.

:hug:

I was abandoned by a doc--let to drift 2-3 days I can not remember-------And I use my stuff correctly or so I think------It was 2-3 days with NOTHING and days from HELL---Seconds seemed as years------My heart like a bunny------I was scared as a child----Filled with more pain than one could endure------

If I find myself in that situation again---which I may--Monday-----I will take matters into my hands----I will NOT live week to week---Never knowing what the next script will bring----The Anxiety is really whats taking me down---And it doctor created------They will not treat me like a person-----I spent almost 20 in the Department--And there too treated like a dog because I was injured in the line of Duty---Everything to save a buck------I really can not take this----I will nor lay this on you---Its been 2 years sick---2 years 4 months permanently injured----The most DEHUMINIZING time of my life--------Its just been too long----I am poor--until the retirement-settlement comes in------Animals have gotten better treatment than I----I am just really tired of it and tired of being the burden that I am

Pete, I wish I had some words of wisdom . . . and trust me, I'm not usually at a loss for 'something' to say. I am when it comes to pain though. :mad:

I have had that level of pain, but for no longer than 3 months at a time, at full intensity. I was beside myself, and completely desperate, so I empathize with you.

What about a pain management clinic? If you have already tried that, try another ... and another ... and another!! I know, easier said then done.

I am still not sure "what" specifically is causing your pain though? :confused: Is it spasticity, or neuropathic, or muscle, or ???

Cherie

Pete - I may be wrong, but aren't you the guy that had a good experience with an MS specialist in Boston after being referred there by another member? If so, can you go back to him or did that go sour? I am very worried about you and we need to figure out a way to get you some help.

Clearing up, Pete you have so not been a bad friend to me, I feel like I let you down too so we can wallow in our self pity together over being sucky friends! I hate to hear you this down though and I worry about you. Just keep re-reading my signature line at the bottom and make it your mantra, it works for me. Do you need me to arrange a shipment of magic brownies??? (that was a joke people, if I had them I'd eat them :) )

I am so very sorry that you are having to deal with all of this James and hope and pray that you get some much needed answers and relief from your symptoms real soon:hug:. It isn't right that people are left to suffer like this just because the doctors don't know what they are on about.

I don't have MS but I had a similar problem with doctors. It took me nearly 5 months to get a diagnosis and they were the longest 5 months of my life. I had doctors telling me that my problems were Psychological even though my leg was freezing cold, blue and swollen! I couldn't believe it when the doctor said that to me and ever since that day, I have been really scared about going to the doctors because I just feel that no one will believe what I am experiencing. I had another doctor that mis-diagnosed me and diagnosed me with Paraneal Muscle Spasms (scar tissue on the nerve) and all of the PT's had different opinions - one said that she thought I was at risk of developing the condition I now have, others said I had torn ligaments, another PT thought all of the bones in my lower leg had fused together and that I would need a major operation etc etc.

We had to go to 5 different hospitals before we got an accurate diagnosis and it was only at the last hospital where the doctors knew exactly what was wrong with me and got me transferred to a different hospital where I could begin treatment.

When I didn't know what was the matter, I was SO scared and confused and angry at everyone because they didn't know what was the matter and I felt like they were the doctors and that they should have known what was wrong and how to make me better!! I often lashed out at doctors because I was so sick of them telling me that my problems were Psychological even though I knew something was very wrong!!

The Pain Managment Doctor and Neurologists that I have now are great but I am still scared of doctors and don't think I will ever go and see them now unless I absolutely have to. I have Physical Therapy once a week and I don't like my PT's that much so that makes things a lot worse for me - they just don't know how to talk to teenagers and talk to me like I am 1 lol.

I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this and really hope you get a proper diagnosis soon. I think sometimes it is so much better knowing what is the matter than not because when you don't know what is wrong, you go searching for answers and sometimes you can convince yourself that you have something so much worse than what you probably do!

It is SO important that you find a doctor who understands you and who has a good bedside mannor and I truly believe that if you aren't happy with your current doctor, you should go and get a second opinion.

Please know that you aren't alone and that many of us have been through what you are and we are all here for you if you ever need someone to talk to.

Please keep us updated when you can:hug:

awww Pete, hang in there.:hug::hug:

I'm so sorry you're still not getting any answers, Pete. Doctors can be our best friends and our worst enemies all at the same time.

If your doctor isn't giving you the care you need in the manner you need it in I'd keep looking until I found one that could work with me...and not make me feel like someone just looking for another prescription. I know some of them can make you feel like that. And it's wrong.

It's easy for me to say "just keep looking".....and I know it's hard to do, especially when you really don't feel like going from doctor to doctor. Have you tried calling the NMSS or your local MS society to see if they can recommend someone?

Pete, you're NOT a burden. None of us are. We didn't ask for this. And constant pain can just drain the life and energy out of you so quickly. Please.....keep posting here. Get your anger and frustrations out online....it helps to write them down. Nobody here is going to judge you. We all understand. I just wish there was an easy answer for you. :hug:

Pete - I read this thread last night, but had to sleep on it. I didn't know how to reply.

A few years ago, I could have almost written your words myself. I hear the same frustration, almost panic.

In Jan it will be 7 yrs in limbo for me, more yrs with chronic pain. So I get it. I've seen over a dozen drs, some made me wonder where you could get a license to practice so easily.

:mad:

I have finally found some to help me, but they still don't know what's wrong with me and I am still in a lot of pain. I still can not work and have horrible fatigue. I'm not half of what I used to be.

What I hear in your words is anger frustration and desperation. What is not there is self pity. You are not saying "Why me?" and You should know that, should be proud of that.

You say you were a cop? I'm sure you thought a lot about that before you went into that feild. I'm sure you faced some big challenges there.

:cool:

It takes more than a big, strong body to do that job - it takes a strong mind.

My son was 5'4" and 110 lbs when he got his black belt in tai kwon doh.

I'll tell you what I told him the day of his test.

"After this, you can face any day - what can life throw at you that's worse than 10 people kicking your butt?"

Pete, you went to work day after day, not knowing if some bozo was going to pull a gun on you, or if you'd have to save a child in the middle of a domestic, or see a horrible car crash - what can life throw at you that's worse than that?

Life is uncertain now, but it was uncertain then, too.

The diff is, you chose that, and you have no choice now. Sometimes that happens, that you don't get a choice. But I figure if you were a big enough person to put yourself on the line for the rest of us, you can do this for YOU.

;)

For me, I figure the answers will come or they won't, the pain will be here or I'll get some relief. Either way I'm not going to stop living to the best of my ability.

I'm gonna find whatever good I can this day, this minute. I'm gonna cling to whatever little thing this minute gives me to get through, these things give me strength. And when they fail, my friends carry me.

Hang in there Pete, you are stronger than you know.

:hug:
Cathy

I guess right now--Today----finding out he switched me to 5 mgs---It was Hell I went thru them a little faster--Hell I did not know why the pain came back so intensely------Now today I am--will be out-------Then the roller coaster ride of pain gets insane with nothing---------That scares me----I am done with the Insane pain----I prefer it masked if even a bit------When the pain goes to the insane stage---Well my anxiety goes there too---


I will answer some of the emails----But right now---I hurt way too mush...like my head cant stay on my shoulders--yuck!!

I do so much appreciate you folks:hug:

:hug: Pete....you've always got friends right here who understand.

Pete, i'm sorry to hear of the pain that you are in and hope and pray that you start feeling better soon :hug: - you don't deserve to go through all of this and I am so sorry that you are :hug:.

Please know that we are all here for you and we DO understand what you are going through. Whilst I don't have MS, I understand the pain you are experiencing as I suffer from a Neurological, Chronic Pain Condition called CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) which is the highest known pain known at the moment according to the McGill Pain Scale.

I truly hope that you and everyone else that is suffering from pain finds something to help ease their problems real soon because I know how awful the pain is and how much it can destroy lives. Non of you deserve to go through all of this and you are all the best friends I could ever wish for!:hug:

Love and best wishes,
Alison.

Thanks again Ali-----------I would have never made it with your issues at your age-----

My ego is my biggest problem----My health woes really cause me shame---then the way the Medical Community treated me reinforced this shame-------

I will more than likely get to an ER---Trust me I do not Wanna----But----

And Yes I try to focus--- I handicap Horse races all day and night---I am alone so much---That keeps my mind working----I use the free Pandora Radio---So I always listen to things I like----

But being home alone for so long everyday---Not being able to use the stairs or go outside---It really feels like I am in the Home Arrest program----Except they have company---I get nill now---

I think once my friends came to the realization I was not going back to the old me---The could not cope---Or more likely I just did not have many-or any good friends--I can lie and say it does not bother me---But it does------Its been so long----So when a family member says call so an so---I quickly comeback with No ___________Way!!:mad:The the obligatory "its better than being alone"---I say---Where the heck were they when I needed them!?


So I do not know how you folks do it---All of you are truly amazing---And inspirational--

My thanks:grouphug:

No words, his time, just hugs..http://home.earthlink.net/~sal.pal/s...pictures/1.jpg

OK so the pain med issue------I think they want to overlook everything I am going thru and admit me to an ADCARE facility....Lets talk about doing stuff backwards---With all my issues the facility did not really want me------But if this happens-----I will take the Practice to court for Mal Practice----

Lets see it this way---My health has been Hell----The standard of my health care never reaching sub par---------I was left in a Migraine for almost a week all the while waiting on my script------I lost sensation in my whole left side---Started in my upper then proceed to my lower extremities---Now I call the Doctors office------The nurse told me I could come in about 4:15--It was 11:35 when I called---When my paper work made it to the Doctor he called---At 12:00 thank God he checked his box before lunch had me come in immediately----I was hospitalized 4 or 5 days----Imagine that---The nurse wanted me to wait all that time---I could have been having a stroke--DUH

--So now The insurance wont cover ADCARE which is fine-----ALL I NEED IS PAIN RELIEF----And guess what---The Dr still has not called----some associates did----

ADCARE---How will they deal with your medical issues if we take you off everything?-----Answer from the Practice, Um I dunno?---My words... But it was pretty close-----

So I litterely have been left to rot----

I want to come at the Doctor with harsh words---IE Doctor Abandonment--this would be 2 times----He changed my meds NEVER consulted me---So everything went outta whack-----My wife wants to be ez---That is Negligence---Since he lowered what was working then I can not get a hold of him-----This new issues have nothing to do with me-----His call or mistake caused it---Now I am paying dearly ---Maybe with my life-----Definitely with my allegiance to my wife and others----That will be unalterably scarred----:mad:

But hey this has been the way things for me has gone for 2 years in 3 days 5 months------I must have been a real jerk ---This is some universal payback---

All this said----What recourse do I really have with the Docs-----I am really not a drug seeker------As I said----I could get way better drugs if I wanted to----But being in Law--I would not do that-----

I just do not know what will become of me?

HELP----please....I need to know where I stand with the medical community---My Dr---Was ex---took him back---Will be ex soon-----But what should I do?

Luv ya Pete u know that, but you are scaring the hell out of me you sound as if you are willing to give up the fight and that isn't the Pete I know. Find a new doctor hell it took me 6 or 8 before I found one I really liked. I understand your pain..really...u know I do, but I will not let u give in to it either! You know I am always a phone call or text or email away.

Pete, I agree with what Renee said, it sounds as though you are wanting to give in on the good fight and you just can't do that!!!!! I know life seems as though it is really tough for you right now but trust me, you will find a good doctor who will take care of you and get your health issues back on track sometime soon ... it might take a while but you WILL get there!!

I totally understand how frustrated and angry you are feeling, I had to go to 5 different hospitals before I got an accurate diagnosis and must have seen about 50 doctors and many a times, I just felt like giving in as I felt as though the Doctors didn't believe me or didn't want to help me but trust me, when you find the doctor that takes really good care of you, it is really worth all of the waiting that you did!!!

You really need to find a good Doctor who will take care of you and take the time and effort to listen to you ... it might even mean that you have to dig a little bit to find a suitable doctor as that is what we had to do. My mum was forever calling Doctor's offices and Hospitals but trust me, it was well worth all of the hassle in the end when we got in to see a doctor who actually cared about me and my health!!

You can't give in and we wont ever let you do that ... you are important and we need you as much as you need us!! I know it might not feel like it at this moment in time but trust me, life IS worth living and things will get better for you one day - they just have to!!

If you ever need a shoulder to lean on, we are all here for you and always will be.

Take care of yourself and please, please don't do anything stupid!!!

Lol, everyone always says that they think i'm about 40 not 13 - no-one can ever believe that I am only 13 and I am forever getting told i'm so much older and must be lying lol. I swear, i'm only 13 ... well I hope I am anyhow!

Pete - We are all here for you whenever you need a shoulder to lean on but please, don't give in! I know it might not feel like it at the moment but trust me, life IS worth living and one day, things will get better ... they just have to and I have faith that they will!

I am keeping you in my thoughts and hope that 2009 is a much better year for you and your family!:hug:

i lose they win--i will be hospitalized for about 2 weeks starting tommorrow

miss you---you all have been so nice------this 2 weeks is going to----------Ali is her--no bad words from mr dirty mouth-------if i can text you nea i will------i am going to need mass support

James,

I really hope and pray that the 2 weeks in hospital will help you and that you will get things sorted real soon - you don't deserve to be going through any of this and I really hope that you get the help you so obviously need:hug:.

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and if you are able to get on the computer, we would love to hear how you are getting on. I wish you the very best of luck and I hope things go well for you.

Will you have access to a laptop while you're hospitalized? Can you still check in with us? We'll worry ya know! If not....don't worry about it. You've got lots of prayers surrounding you. You do not deserve to be going through all this. Please.....just keep up the fight and let them know you're not backing down until they give you the help you deserve. :hug:

Still praying for you,Pete. I hope you get the help you need while in the hospital and they get to the bottom of what's going on with you, and causing your pain,etc.

Oh, good, I hope this will be your help.:)

I will be thinking of you and sayin a little prayer, each day, for you.

Definately rent a laptop, while you're there. We need daily reports.

:hug::hug::hug: