just cancelled tdoc for later today
 

HI,
I left a voice mail that I want to sleep all day.
Since the sleep study my skin is itchy / burning and I am not in the mood to go out in the heat.
Besides that, I only sleep in the day light now -- the skin business has heightened anxieties.

She hates when I cancel at the last minute -- but I did try (sort of) to cancel last week.


M.

yes you did
 

Dear Mari,

you did cancel last week and she didn't get it. and you can mention your attempt when you see her next, fwiw.

i'm sorry you are still itchy. :( is it getting any better though? have you called your mdoc?

i hope sleep provides some relief.

i couldn't sleep till 6.30 am... it was full daylight. at that point i did all the shutter arrangment and moving of plants etc before tucking in. and had cereal. then i slept until about now (just had coffee) - it is 3.15pm. :rolleyes:

i hope you sleep well and feel better when you wake up.

no hugs... no good for itchies...

cool, aloe-gel vibes instead ;)

~ waves ~

Dear Waves,
I'm glad that you got your sleep -- even if sleeping in daylight presents challenges.
M.

Thanks.
 

Hi,
Yes, I hear you pushing about the mdoc -- trying to ignore you ;)

I will call the mdoc later about an appt tomorrow.
I'm really not up to going out of the apt today.
I think I should go to sleep.

M.

Mari

What are you using on the itching.

Donna

Sorry Mari
 

Dear Mari,

i'm so sorry my inquiry came off as pushy. :( glad you ignored it. Actually, I did get that you needed to stay in for the day, and get sleep. And figured that is all you were going to do, period. :o

And I do hope you did get some quality sleep today.

About the mdoc, i thought you might have already called (just for information or reassurance, not even necessarily a visit). anyway i asked only to follow up with you. i'm sorry it felt like pressure to call. i will desist from further questions on that. :o

I just hope you feel better soon.

~ waves ~

Dear Waves,
Oh, dear.
I am sounding agitated.
And I'm annoying.
Apologies.

In real life, I am worse.
I've glad that you are not here to hear me whine and nag and complain.

I slept about 5 hours during the day and am way into a sleep deficit. (The last time I slept almost decently was 6 hours Thursday night in the sleep lab.) Still, I could at least take a break and pipe down until I am presentable in public on the board.

I got a hold of my acupuncturist and have an appointment coming soon. She can help me with the skin reaction I seem to have had in the sleep lab. She also helps with anxiety.
Once I spoke to her this afternoon, I felt much better -- I have been missing her.

Tdoc usually uses lots of hypnosis and relaxation techniques in her therapy. But this summer, we haven't done any. I've missed that -- even though I trust the way she manages our session time.


So two of my helpers have been a little bit absent.

But then both of them would tell me to
1. find a way to sleep
2. find ways to give back to myself via relaxation or exercise or meditation and so on.
Maybe I could be my own caregiver and give 1 and 2 a try.

Thanks for letting me use this space.

M.

Thanks, Donna,
I'm not using anything.
Maybe today the itching was less bad.
Mostly it is not bad.

But I am scared. Scared that it is happening at all and scared that trying to work out the sleep apnea puzzle seemed to send me back instead of forward.
I'm impatient.

M.

Dear Mari
 

No apologies necessary.

And you are completely presentable for this board.

I am glad to hear your skin reaction is receding. I really think it was a stress reaction to do with microcirculation, causing augmented skin sensitivity (to hot water for instance) and perpetuated by ongoing anxiety.

Yes, I think trying to follow what-you-believe-would-be your tdoc's and accupuncturist's suggestions about giving back to yourself somehow would be good. Give it a shot... just do what you can.

This is a difficult time for you. I wonder if you had the expectation (I did, originally) that finding out about the sleep apnea and therefore treatability would be forward progress and bring a relief of sorts... even psychologically. I am now thinking that expectation was not realistic. It really didn't occur to me before, but, this new information puts you are at a new juncture in treatment. There will be a life/pattern change.

Change is scary. It's ok and natural to be scared in these situations. I wonder if it helps to realize that. Luckily change is also temporary. So you will inevitably get less scared and feel better. ;)

I wish this wasn't all tied up with sleep because that would be one of the best medicines.

Good luck with trying to sleep more, or perhaps meditate? or do some simple yoga? ... and i hope your accupuncturist can help soon and that you will see your tdoc soon too.

And your posts are fine. This is a good place to put your scaredness. :) :hug:

:Heart:

~ waves ~

Are you feeling better tonight Mari? I hate it when I don't get enough sleep, did they order you a CPAP yet? I missed wherever you talked about the second test, how did it go? I h ope things get better as you get used to wearing the mask, what kind did you get used on you? I have both because Mom gets the full faced ones and gave me one of her old ones. I like it as a back up but I rely on the nasal mask with a chin strap. :)

Hi,

I'm waiting on the medical supply company to get the mask -- it is on "back order."

Then someone will come out to the apt and spend time explaining everything to me.

I asked Hubby to clear his junk off the dining room table so that someone would be able to sit and demonstrate the equipment to me.
He spent almost 30 minutes on the table tonight.
(We are slobs living in a sloppy place with too much stuff -- more than a bit depressed about that. )
Now the table is clear.

My tdoc left a message that I can reschedule to see her on Friday, July 10. After that she will be out of town for a week or more.
But I am loathe to commit to an appt when Friday might be the day I get the equipment.

. . . Trying to be calm. I really am.

M.

Hi Mari
 

Dear Mari,

Sounds like you are doing what you need to do. Perhaps the mask people will call soon, so you will know if Friday is ok or not. I understand wanting to put them first.

Or... do you feel it would benefit you to see your therapist first? If that is the case, you could accept the Friday appointment, and when the mask people call, schedule them the week following. It's not like they will be assigning you a day and if you miss it they drop you! ... You are the client. And...

You are in charge of this process.

So... think about which order of things would make you feel better and go for that. You don't owe the mask people any priority and this note of mine is not meant to push you one direction or another, by the way, either.

Cleared off dining table sounds good. At least that is out of the way. :) Now...

Remember to breathe... regularly. :)

~ waves ~ sending soothing thoughts

Thanks, Waves.
 

Hi,
Yes.
I have an appt with the acupuncturist on Sat. I want to have the equipment by the time I go to that appointment and would feel really bad if the Fri tdoc visit cost me my visit from the equipment people for this week. (I'd also hate to cancel tdoc again at the last minute -- not in the mood to make a contingency-type appt with her -- rather just call her and say have a nice trip and see you when you get back.)
And I'm not sure tdoc is going to be much help one way or another. She's a problem right now because I don't want to deal with her before I get this checked off my list.
Besides, did I complain yet about how hot it is to have to go out in the car?

And I guess I don't feel like the client with regards to the equipment people -- that would mean that I have control over this process.
'Feeling out of control.



Breathing. :)
And the cleared dining table will have to count for a victory (over chaos and uncertainty ? ) -- I take victories wherever I can get them.

M.

ooops
 

you read my post while i was reading your other thread.

i edited my post... it seems after you had already started replying with quote to the integral version. coz there are quoted bits that are no longer in my post. coz i realized they were off-base from reading your other thread. :( :o

sorry for the mixup.

wish i'd read both threads first.

Never mind... i restored my original post.

Otherwise too many things didn't make sense... LOL. ARRRGHHH.

I will STOP EDITING POSTS NOW. :D :rolleyes: :o

Dining room table a definite victory! ;)

~ waves ~

optometrist while I wait
 

Waves,
I edited.
Everything is all right. :) :) :)

I appreciate your input.

M.

that's funny!
 

arghghhhh

i ... um... 'fixed things' too... by restoring my original post!

ROFL!!! :D:D:D

This is nuts!!!

That's ok... we don't have to be normal... LOL. ;)

~ waves ~

Optometrist
 

That sounds good. Except for you might miss calls while you are there??? :o

Erhhm. How big of a concern is that? You do have some answering system so you can call them back right (you have mentioned messages before)....

Anyway it sounds good to me. :)

~ waves ~

Waves,
I would be going to optometrist late enough in the day that I already knew if the equipment people were ready to come by or not.

Or I can wait until next week or later for the optometrist
M.

Oh man, that stinks, hopefully they get the new mask in soon, is it a full face mask that goes over your mouth and nose? Those are more expensive then the kind that I have to use that only goes over my nose. I am sorry you're feeling lack of control over things with the equipment people. That is so NOT a good feeling, I was lucky I guess they had mine in stock in the right size. I wouldn't get a large mask again because IMO that is made for a man's face, it was too big and leaked around the seals. :p

I wish I had some advice to offer Mari but I don't, Just try to prepare for the tdoc appt on Friday and see about the mask people when they call, if they did call and want to come out Friday you should be able to schedule it after or before the Tdoc appt. So don't worry about that if it should happen. It wouldn't be the end of the world, you'd just have to pay the guy the copay, listen to the demo and get the right sized mask before you open it. So figure on about fifteen minutes or twenty max. They should have a couple sizes for you to try on and see how they feel, which is kinda hard through the plasitc but not impossible.

Wishing you luck and hoping for the best! :D

Dear Pam,

(See other thread as well if you want.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread92673.html
I confused things by having two threads. Sorry. 'Was trying to make things clear. :confused:)

At sleep study #2, the tech found me the right mask. I was able to sleep in it for 6 hours. That is the one that my doc ordered for me to wear at home.


It covers the nose -- not the mouth.
The medical equipment company has it on "back order" last I checked on Tuesday.
(I don't plan on trying on any more masks. They make me anxious.)
Before I went to bed, can you believe the tech wanted me to watch a video about sleeping in one? I said no thank you unless she was going to make me.

And I already paid my co-pay with a credit card over the phone.

Now I wait. :)

M.

Wow, you're getting the same kind of mask I use, it's much less anxiety inducing for me at any rate, Did they give you any idea on time frame on the backordering? I remember they needed to order my newest mask and I had to wait about a week for it. I hope it's not longer then that for you. :hug:

Dear Pam,
The mask came Wed afternoon -- not before huge hassle with phone calls and so forth ARGH!

I tried on the mask for a few moments to operate it in front of the tech quy who delivered it.

My skin all over the body is reacting to it again.
I'm not going to sleep with it until I become ok with it.

=-=-=-

Tdoc called and wants to see me on Friday at 12:00 noon.

I might call her back and tell her that I will be there.

M.

confirmed with tdoc for Friday
 

Hi,

I left a voice message to confirm tdoc Friday / tomorrow.
'Told her I really need her help because I am having a very hard time.

M.

whew... good timing
 

Dear Mari,

that's great that the mask people have come and gone - that step is over, but even better, you are freed up now to see your tdoc tomorrow if you want to. and it sounds like you really do.

i am glad you decided to see her in spite of the heat. i do hope she is helpful. you need as much support as you can get. and perhaps she has some good tips to help you feel less of a mess again.

i want you to be ok. :hug:

~ waves ~ blowing a hopeful cool breeze your way

Okay I'm really hoping I don't confuse things. I've only read this thread.

But I'm glad the mask came. I hope the rash and itching thing gets
figured out.

Donna