Just need to vent....and need advise.
 

It has been 6 months since my injury (blunt trauma to the head...frontal). I can count on one hand the number of times I have left the house other than for a doctor appt/procedure. Litterally 4 times in 6 months.

Anyway, this past weekend, we went out of town to visit family and my mother was flying in too (she lives out of state). Due to the headaches and fatigue, noise sensitivites..etc, we weren't sure we were going to be able to go.

Part of me was really looking forward to seeing my family (esp. my mom) and the other part was scared how I would feel.

I'm not sure how to explain it other than I had a difficult time being able to control my emotions. I was so darn sensitive to everything! We ended up leaving early because I just couldn't deal with it.

My emotions seem hypersensitive right now. I take everything personally and I'd like to find a way around that. Fatigue and pain are contributing to it i'm sure, but the only meds I am currently on is a Beta Blocker for the Headaches.My doc did double my dose almost 2 weeks ago. Do you think that has anything to do with it?

I always enjoyed being around people and had no issues carrying on a conversation or controlling my emotions prior to my injury.....this is really frustrating me!!!!

Fatigue is a common side effect of beta blockers. Here is a couple of links that might be worth checking FYI. They show a new BB that has less side effect and just as effective for headache.
http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT00999102
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18184294
Hope this helps!

It took me well over 18 months before I felt like I wasn't taking things personally that weren't meant to be. The oversensitivity had to be overridden by rational thought and my brain needed to heal enough to be able to have rational thought and then I had to have enough energy to maintain that rational thought. I'm sorry to tell you this, but it might just take some more time before you notice a difference in being overly sensitive. The good thing is that you realize it's happening and that you can hopefully talk about it with people when you're able to. The people who love you and understand what's going on with you (you're recovering from a brain injury!) will forgive you and let it go.

EsthersDoll, you are right...at least I am noticing I'm reacting differently. That has to be a step in the right direction. Thanks for pointing that out!:)

Can I vent too?:rolleyes:
I had gone 8 months without a concussion and I was beginning to feel better and beginning to be able to work out etc... but then I went to watch a soccer game and someone accidentally kicked a ball into my head and I got another concussion. This time I am not recovering or dealing with it as well as I was. I have to attend 10 classes a week, I also have 2 papers due in the next 2 weeks and I have to give a 30 minute oration on my senior thesis topic and then defend it for 30 minutes this coming Saturday. But I can barely remember how to write a coherent sentence and when I am talking to people I keep stopping half-way through my conversation and have to be reminded of what I have been saying. The pain isn't that bad, but the nausea is worse than ever and the dizziness and lack of concentration are worse than ever before. Also, I never cry, but every few days I just break down an ball now. I am 3 weeks away from graduating with a Bachelors having taken 150 credit hours over the past 4 years. And I got my first concussion (of at least 10) half way through the second semester of my freshman year.
I am trying to stay motivated, but it is so hard.
Thanks for listening, I just needed to get this off my chest.

Margarite,

You need to check with your Disabilities Department. They may be able to arrange a more favorable situation for your thesis. You need the confrontational nature of your defense limited. You also need some time to Stop and Think. You may need to live like a cloistered nun during your last few weeks. An environment of total peace and quiet will help you prepare.

Have you talked with your instructors about your current symptoms? Maybe they can come up with some accommodations for your last few weeks and assignments.

I wish I had more to offer. I went through the same struggle and ended up not finishing a degree.

My best to you.

HeadStrong,

I can identify with your post. Do check about your meds, but don't be discouraged if it's just all part of the concussed "experience". :boy(sad):

I found that I had to quit trying to be "normal". It was too stressful. After MUCH frustration, I began to focus on very small successes.

For example, I might ride along with a friend to the store, and wait quietly (often resting with closed eyes!) in the car while they went inside. Sometimes I would sit in my house and simply open the door so that fresh air could breeze in. I would visit a close friend's house when the rest of their family was away.

These things were improvements for me, and once I began to recognize them as such, I began to find more tiny ways to enlarge my boundaries.

You can use the same idea with the emotional issues. Ask those who are close to you and understand your situation to help you as you begin to branch out in tiny ways. They can help you recognize your limits and provide a graceful way of escape if your emotions get to be too much.

I found that it was easiest to branch out socially via the printed word (like texting) first. I could work through emotional responses in privacy.

Celebrate small successes. Grow in tiny ways.

I feel as if I've had to relearn social skills and emotional control - much like a small child must learn these things.

It's gotten better, but (for me) the first step was letting go of my expectations of normalcy and being willing to take microsteps.

I know this is all personal experience, but just maybe some part will be helpful. Hope this rambling makes sense! :rolleyes:

Margarite, I agree with Mark. But before you even talk to the Disabilities Dept on campus, you might be able to just talk to your thesis committee or the Chair of your department. Write them an email, or leave them a voicemail about what's going on with you. They may be able to postpone your thesis. Make sure you withdraw if you need to as well, because financial aid has recently been cancelled for several of our graduate students because they've been here just a little too long.

Thanks for your advise, but my college is so small that there is only one person to whom I can appeal, and he along with my profs have told me that I can either drop out or keep up. They said it nicer than that and they have the best of intentions because they want the degree to mean something, so I do not blame them. Sometimes it is just hard to see that I have made the choice to stay and have bad grades instead of leave and come back. I will graduate in 3 weeks, with a low GPA, but I will be done.
Thank you all for your support.
I hope that each and every one of you finds healing in some way.

I really understand the issue of graduating with a low gpa - when I was in graduate school anything under an A was unacceptable. You know what? The real world doesn't really care what your gpa was, I have never been asked about mine. Don't be so hard on yourself, finish your school work and be proud that you did! Also the ADA states that the school must make accommodations for you, let the law work for you.