Three tricky words...
 

"I used to". I have to be really careful with those words!!

If I think, "I used to" and reflect on happy memories,with gratitude for having been able to enjoy good times and/or "do my share", then I'm good.

If I think, "I used to" and determine to figure out if there's a new and different way of doing those things, or similar things, then I'm good.

If I think, "I used to" and get caught in a vortex of self-pity, then I'm toast.

I tend to do all of the above, sometimes all in the same day. Sometimes all in the same mental conversation. Sometimes I don't know when to put on the brakes before the first two skid into the third. Oh well. Just pondering.

It is a vortex.

Yup. And I always seem to have at least one foot in it.

Your name says it all, "Blessings2You." You have to look beyond your current self. I'm an admirer of yours, dear. Keep a stiff upper chin! :hug:

Glad you mentioned "upper"...I wouldn't have known which chin.

Your name says it all, "Blessings2You." You have to look beyond your current self. I'm an admirer of yours, dear. Keep a stiff upper chin! :hug:

I avoid thinking those evil words. I try to think of only the good things that have happened in my life. The bad thoughts creep in, though, and then I shake them out of my head, saying "I can't hear you" 10 times. By that time I forget what I was thinking anyway..:D

Blessings..:hug:

Kitt, I hope you don't mind I borrowed this from your signature line:

"It is what it is, it's not what it was, it's not what it could have been, it is what it is."

I have to keep reminding myself of this from time to time to keep myself from "living" in the past, or being totally unhappy with where things are.
B2Y, you're not alone with this feeling (obviously!), but as the saying goes, Life is what happens when we're busy making other plans.
When you find yourself stuck in option #3, step away from the edge and remember we love you no matter what!:hug:

Occasionally, late at night, when my DH is holding me and stroking my hair, I will sob, mourning what was...what I can no longer do...
then I wake up, thank Creation for another day, another opportunity to live, and I work my best to make it worthwhile. Sometimes it works, sometimes I sleep all day...
We can't change the past...it's gone. We don't hold the future...it's not here, and not guaranteed...
All we have is this very moment, this breath.

so do we utilize it by mourning what we can't do that which we used to do?
Do we utilize it by agonizing about what we might not be able to do in the future?
Or do we work with the moment, do what we CAN, and be grateful for that?

Not the easiest path, by any means, and I won't judge anyone who vies for the past or future...I try my best to live for this moment. Not always successful, but when I am, I have bliss:)