Need some encouraging words [before I go crazy!]
 

Well, it's been 4 months and about 2 weeks since my injury..and some days I've felt like I'm coming along pretty good. I'll have a completely good day or two, then a horrible day or two.

Anyways - the most horrible symptoms i'm having right now is my ability to think properly, follow along while reading, finding words and stuttering [like, a pause or delay or a stutter while i'm talking] and of course my horrible ability to remember things like names of people or things. Last night was the worse I've felt since these symptoms showed up. My brain felt like it was on a constant struggle..it felt like it was permanently flexed in the back like it was struggling or trying to work properly and I just couldn't think at all. I could not sleep, I thought if I went to sleep I was going to wake up retarded :( It caused horrible anxiety..and I guess the reason I need some encouraging words is, I keep thinking I'm going to be stuck like this...like I have permanent damage to my brain :(... I think about how it's going to effect me raising my little boy and building a home for my family. The more time that passes and the symptoms are still here, the worse I feel.

My first visit to a neurologist that deals with head trauma, PCS and TBI's is on the 22nd. Can't wait :(

I will pass along to you what brings me much needed peace:
"Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:24

Thanks :)

I'm literally losing my mind here..I can't concentrate at all. I feel slow and I'm scared it's never going to go away. I can't put up with this the rest of my life :(

The rest of your life is a long time!! Put up with it for today and keep taking it just one day at a time! I've been in the same position as you for just over 11 months now, and I'm noticing that the bad days are getting fewer and further between. It's a slow fight. For a while I thought it was forever too, but I'm not so sure I believe that anymore! So get yourself through a bad day, and don't take one second of feeling good for granted. There's nothing like waking up in the morning without a headache, even if it's only one morning a week! I hope this helps!

Actually, that helped a lot..Thanks a lot, that's pretty much what I was looking for.

What hits me the hardest is thinking about how my son's life is going to be if I don't recover from this and finish school. I want the best for my little man, and that's not going to happen unless I finish school and finish building our home. Right now we are struggling, on welfare and collecting Unemployment. I was set to start school here on the 17th, that was my first step to getting us out of the mess we are in...but I'm gonna be calling to cancel my tuition tomorrow until I'm not so slow... I pray to God it's not going to be forever.

nwsmith,

It sounds like you are caught in a stress and anxiety loop. The stress and anxiety cause the other symptoms to manifest and get much worse. The more you are anxious, the worse they will get.

It would be interesting to try to find a trigger from the past few days.
Did you do anything exciting or stressful?
Did you consume anything unusual?
Did you have an argument with anybody?
Did you have a good day and overdo it?
Did you have a long conversation with anyone?
What changes have happened in the past few days?

Learning how to identify triggers helps us to avoid them in the future. The more you can avoid triggers, the longer your OK periods last, the more healing your brain gets.

It is likely that the weight of making a decision to cancel your tuition and school plans has overwhelmed you. This was a big decision to have to make.

Regarding your sleep. Rather than worry about waking up retarded, you need to realize that your brain needs good sleep to heal. It only heals during REM sleep. REM sleep is the deep sleep when your eyes move and you dream.

Your brain will not heal during times of stress that cause you to not sleep deeply.

Keep in mind that stress hormones and other stress chemicals pollute your brain. That leaves you brain in a deficit that needs to be cleaned up before your brain can move forward to heal.

Try to understand and accept your symptoms, at least for the time being. When you have a hard time finding words, it is a combination of your injury and stress causing this symptom. If you are more willing to accept this symptom as an injury symptom but NOT A DEFINITION OF WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON, you will likely do better. Your injury can define some of your symptoms but it does not define who you are.

If you have concerns about things you do not want to post, PM or email me and we can discuss them privately. I have a wealth of experience from both my injuries and from making a few bad decisions. Maybe I can help.

Mark, I sent you a PM. And thanks to those who responded... :)

NW Smith,

I'm four months post concussion and I can relate to your struggles. I too get down in the dumps. I worry constantly if I will improve enough to go back to work. Some days I wake up completely depressed. My head hurts, my head whooshes and I find that I have a very short circuit. I have a very somber trance like fog. I struggle to find words so I pause.

I try to remember that a head injury can take a long time to heal. I remember how I was right after the injury. I couldn't even stand without swaying or walk without veering off. My head pain was so bad I thought it was going to explode off my head. Now I have milder symptoms. My headaches are daily but not as strong as they used to be and they aren't all day. That little reprieve helps alot.

I just started walking again. I go first thing in the morning before my headache rears it's ugly head.

Sleep in huge and does determine how my day is going to be. My doc just increased my Amitriptalyne so I have been sleeping again.

I do find I get better then I level out, better then level out. Some days I have really bad days. If I do then I rest.

Listen to your body, get plenty of rest. It will get better it just takes time.

If you have any questions please let me know. I'm not an expert just an ordinary girl with a head injury...lol

On a lighter note: I ran into an old friend of mine the other day. He suffered a terrible head injury. He was on his motorcycle when he crashed. Needless to say he wasn't wearing a helmet. I asked him if he had any long term problems and he said his short term memory was shot but other than that he feels great. He writes alot of things down to help him . He is leading a productive life and is back to his old job.

I'm at almost ten months post-concussion and doing SO much better. At four months, I was still a mess. It takes time and space, but it does get better.

I got my Prozac prescription bumped up a bit, and it helped with some of the hopelessness.

I also felt that my cognitive function improved after I started taking Algal DHA and acetyl-l-carnitine supplements. It might be placebo effect, but hey, at least it's improvement :)

Playing SuperBetter helped me see things from a positive rather than negative perspective during that time frame.

Good luck.

One of these days I'm going to get in to that SuperBetter game. It seems like a fun way to turn a negative in to a positive. That's good to hear that your feeling better after 10 months. That gives me some hope :)...