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-   -   New and scared, looking for some help. (https://www.neurotalk.org/new-member-introductions/173819-scared-looking-help.html)

NLHisey 07-25-2012 10:51 PM

New and scared, looking for some help.
 
Hi.

My ex husband and I have recently (January) become involved in each other's lives again due to things going on with our children. He has had some serious health issues over the last ten years (7 of them we were divorced for). Although the past cannot be changed, we are now trying to sort things and really figure out which way is up.

He has broken his back and neck three times now due to work. He's been having serious headaches that are crippling, cause him to be sick and completely out of commission for a few days at a time. It was 6 months in between, then a few months, then a month now just two weeks in between each spell.

Insurance sent a letter saying it was a Colloid Cyst which was a Life Finding and there was nothing further they could do to change the health and stability of his life. The doctor and a lawyer are trying to fight for more help or tests. My question is....how do we deal with this? How do I be there for him? Is this really as bad as it sounds when I look it up and read about it? Where it is located, on his brain stem, it is causing a lot of spinal issues. Numbness, headaches, swelling, tingling etc. The doctors said it is in fact inoperable.

I guess I want some hope. Something to hold on to. Someone to explain what all of this mean so I can try to comfort him, our three children and make sense of it all myself. Thank you for any help or feedback.

Samantha11 07-26-2012 02:04 PM

Simple
 
The best way to be there is to simply be there. Sit by his side when he needs you. Help him out if he needs it.
Most important of all, take care of and be there for yourself. We can't do much if we aren't taking care of ourselves. I know it is way easi said than done, but if we can do just a little every day, it adds up to a lot.
Hang in. I'm here.

~Samantha

MelodyL 07-26-2012 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NLHisey (Post 900689)
Hi.

My ex husband and I have recently (January) become involved in each other's lives again due to things going on with our children. He has had some serious health issues over the last ten years (7 of them we were divorced for). Although the past cannot be changed, we are now trying to sort things and really figure out which way is up.

He has broken his back and neck three times now due to work. He's been having serious headaches that are crippling, cause him to be sick and completely out of commission for a few days at a time. It was 6 months in between, then a few months, then a month now just two weeks in between each spell.

Insurance sent a letter saying it was a Colloid Cyst which was a Life Finding and there was nothing further they could do to change the health and stability of his life. The doctor and a lawyer are trying to fight for more help or tests. My question is....how do we deal with this? How do I be there for him? Is this really as bad as it sounds when I look it up and read about it? Where it is located, on his brain stem, it is causing a lot of spinal issues. Numbness, headaches, swelling, tingling etc. The doctors said it is in fact inoperable.

I guess I want some hope. Something to hold on to. Someone to explain what all of this mean so I can try to comfort him, our three children and make sense of it all myself. Thank you for any help or feedback.

Hi. I'm here for you too. We are here to emotionally support you. Others, more knowledgeable than I will come along and answer your questions.

Here is a link to a forum that you can post your concerns and share what happened to your ex.

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum92.html

You and your family are in my prayers tonight.

Melody

rmschaver 07-26-2012 08:10 PM

Help and support
 
Sorry to hear your ex/husband is suffering so. You obviously have strength and intelligence as you recognize you need help. What you read may be scary but that does not mean it is your future.

I once met a young boy, at one of my childrens bday parties. He had a medical issue in is brain. I don't remember what it was but it was degenerative and life long. He was trying his darndest to shoot a basketball but his motorskills were shot to h**l.

He was with a friend of his parents and all I could hear was her telling him to stop trying he couldn't do it. He looked at me and I told him use your good hand to shoot support with your other hand and let the ball roll off your fingers.

He shoots and the ball just drops right in. I leaned over looked him in the eye and told him don't ever let anyone tell you what you can't do. You find out for yourself. Hes grown now and in colledge in DC.

Look for help when you need it. Don't let someone else decide your future, you live it. It might not be easy but anything worthwile has some difficulty.

Hope you both feel better.

Darlene 07-27-2012 12:34 AM

Greetings!!
 
NLHisey,

:Wave-Hello: Hello and welcome each of you to NeuroTalk. Happy to see you have come to be with us. Here are a great number of dear friends to listen when you are in need of ears. Please let us know how we can help you out. You will find out we are supportive and relaxing place.

Please keep us up to date on his condition.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around. My thoughts and prayers are with you. :smileypray:

Darlene :hug:

Thomas Kaup 08-01-2012 07:00 PM

I am a survivor of this monster called a colloid cyst of the third ventricle. Go to my post, Thomas Kaup


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