It's official, I have crashed
 

Today when I was driving home from getting my hair cut, I just felt this wave of weariness come over me. I have a huge tension headache and my usual leg pain. Bedtime will be early for me.

nurses tend to be really strong when others need us. then there could be a lull when danger is over and we could sleep for 12 hrs.

take the rest in stride and use it to refuel.
:hug:

Doydie!!!:hug::hug::hug: I'm sorry about the crash. I hope you got some sleep and feel more rested today. Maybe having someone come in to help, despite the mattress issue, is a good idea. Even if it is only for a couple of hours a day or twice a week or something. It will give you a much needed break.

A good caregiver/aide should never judge. Remember all the situations that you encountered while nursing? You never personally judged those situations. You assessed, but didn't judge. (If that makes sense.) Plus, an aide may be able to get Charlie to do more self care than you can get him to do. Having help like that will give you a chance to rest, run errands, and take mental breaks whether that be visiting friends, sitting in a quiet church, etc. Maybe even going to choir practice. (I'm not sure if you are still doing that as I haven't seen you post about it.) It can be a good thing for both you and Charlie.

Anyhow, try to do something nice for yourself today. Prayers have been said for you!:hug:

I have thought about hiring some one to come in and clean. That would help a lot. I would really love a personal chef. I am not a cook, never have been. I can do hamburger helper really good. Charlie does OK in his own personal care. He can't shower yet and he has his appointment with the surgeon. So he took a god sponge bath. I washed his back and he did the rest. I do enjoy doing little things like that for him. Every night I empty his drain. I know he could probably do it himself but that nurse in me likes to do it so I can see how much, the type of drainage, etc. I do hope it comes out tomorrow, both physically and emotionally. I don't know how he will take it if the doctor says no.

We were out of just a few items today and needed a short Walmart run. Umm, what is short about a Walmart run even when it's 6 PM and heat is 95. It was so hot, I was short of breath by the time I got to the door. I did ride the scooter. I don't know how many little mistakes I did while driving the car. After telling Charlie how exhausted I was and yes, it is dangerous for me to drive, he did stop making comments.

Our Walmart is one of them that you can order on line and pick them up so I may need to look that up until I am over this. When he went on his medicine for his Ulcerative colitis, I made the decision to go off my Avonex. I think I am ready to rethink that now.

About choir. I am still a member, It's just with him in the hospital so much I haven't been there for awhile. This weekend is our 60th anniversary of the church. The choir is singing this big anthem. I really don't like the melody but it has parts for the children's choir, youth choir and the adult choir and then for us all together. It also has a nice solo which our pastor will sing. It's called 'We are the church'. We also have another song to sing which I really like. But I don't think I have been there for 3 weeks. I told Charlie the way I feel, IF I do go on Sunday, I would more than likely sit in the sanctuary and not even stand to sing any of the songs. No energy. I may not even sing. I am that tired. So it all gets me thinking. Could part of this be depression? I really think it is a combination of many things. I ate one meal today. And that is bad for me. I have about 2+ edema again so I am taking Lasix, which is on as needed basis. I tried to take a nap but nap and Lasix just don't get along. The edema may be one reason why my legs feel so heavy.

Having someone come in and clean and at least prep some of the food for meals (like cutting up vegetables or fruit) is a great help!!! I have an aide that comes and helps me a couple of times a week. She does light housework and preps some of my food as well as does other things for me if I need it (such as going to the grocery store). You may find that just that little bit of help will allow you more energy to do more things.

I have not tried the Wal-Mart pick up thing but my mom has. She had no complaints about it at all. There are a couple of grocery stores in town that deliver and that helps. There is a minimum purchase and a delivery charge but sometimes that's worth it. Do you have a store that delivers in your area?

It does sound like a combination of things are contributing to your crash. I think all that you have been through with Charlie is a huge factor and it has effected everything else. I wish I lived closer so I could come over and help you a little. I would do it in a heartbeat! Hang in there and try to rest and take care of you!:hug:

doydie, even getting someone in to do housework will take some of the pressure off of you. You are on "overload". Not surprised your body and mind have finally got the best of you. Thankfully, I have a woman come in every two weeks to do cleaning, vacuuming, floors, etc. I have no problem justifying getting help.

I know you often shop at Walgreens too. I do Walgreens order on line at least twice a month. I usually wait for things in the flyer I use most to be on sale; as well as they often give 20% off items not on sale. The shipping is free when spending over $35.00. I am always amazed how quickly my order arrives; usually in a couple of days. This makes going shopping much lighter and quicker.

I also order from a place that has many food items; either partially cooked or very simple to put in the oven/microwave and heat. Everything is delivered frozen. (Unfortunately, they even have deeeelicious ice cream.) You may have some place similar to this. The delivery man comes every two weeks; free delivery to your door at a minimum of spending $49.00 which is very easy to do.

Whatever it takes; you need to give yourself a break and allow yourself time for things you enjoy.


Gerry

Doydie :hug:

It time to accept help. I did and I'm not even taking care of anyone but myself!

The food delivery is an excellent idea. It has saved me many times.

Here is the company I use: Schwan's(R) Online Grocery Delivery Service | Delicious Food Direct to Your Door. I cannot say enough good things about them. And.....their food is deee-licious! And Gerry was right.....their ice cream is addictive!

I hope you get some help, Doydie. You're not doing yourself or Charlie any favors by exhausting yourself. It takes us MSers longer to refuel after wearing ourselves out.

I'm worried about you so please don't overdo it and look into getting some help. It's a sign of strength not failure. :hug:

Kitty; ditto to all you wrote about Schwan's.

doydie; Kitty is right, your not doing yourself or Charlie any favor exhausting yourself.

I use Schwan's Service too . I can't say enough about how satisfied I am with the quality, service, as well as their pricing.
Their ham/cheese omelet is a quick Sunday morning breakfast (microwave 2 min. and serve). Last nite, for dinner we had their Beerbattered Cod and cut corn with a microwaved baked potato. Easy, easy cooking. Using Schwan's Service has really cut down cooking in more than half the time. Best of all; I get compliments from hubby.


Gerry

When my girls were younger, we used to get juices and ice cream from Schwann's. Their ice cream is awesome and the juices were good and worth the price at the time. I haven't used them in a long time. In fact, I haven't even checked them out to see their pricing. Do you girls find that you save money at all using them?

We do have Schwanns delivery in our area. They stop at several houses on our block. If I can jsut get my husband out of the habit of going out to eat. Given the tip of a meal out, a schawanns meal is probably cheaper.

Our church is having their 60th anniversary this weekend. I went to the meal tonight. I haven't been a member that many years so I didn't know any of the guests but it was nice hearing from them. And it was nice going out. I put a little make up on, wore something a little better than jeans and t shirt. I will go tomorrow morning and no be in the choir which will be hard but at least I will be there.

Bith Charlie and I have trouble opening our pocket books for services and I don't want some one seeing how messy my house is. And it is very difficult for Charlie to allow a stranger in the house doing something such as cleaning in our bedrooms.

tkrik,
What I save is a lot of time. The items are pretty good. I use to love cooking; but now with often 24/7 pain; it is a godsend. I think the pricing is fair; you get a % back in points to take off your next order. Kitty has the site listed; you may want to check it out. Larry, our delivery guy is here every other Monday between 2 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. I use to do Market Day with the school. Last year they went out of business; then I discovered Schwan's, which I like even better.


Gerry

doydie;
You have to try to give up on worrying whether your house is messy or not. Who really cares other than you. With a little coaxing from you, Charlie might be okay with giving a try to having someone come in every couple of weeks. The wallet is sometimes difficult to use when we feel we can do it ourselves. I find that with a little less stress trying to do too much when the body say's "no" ; I can be in a better mood; which hubby appreciates. So is it worth it; for us, I say "yes".

doydie; you're worth it; now you have to convince Charlie of this. Schwan's is much cheaper than Charlie going out to eat/tip, etc. I hope you reconsider. Check out the site Kitty listed.


Gerry

I think once Charlie tries some of their food he may be convinced to use Schwan's more than going out to eat.

I am so glad you went to the 60th Anniversary celebration. Dolling yourself up was a great idea. For the most part, when I do that I can make myself feel a little better. I know you miss singing in the choir. Maybe once things settle down you can get back to participating in the choir.:hug:

I wouldn't worry about a messy house. The people that come in to help see all sorts of things. I do understand if you don't want to do that. Maybe one of your girls or grands (I can't remember their ages) can help you and Charlie out.

I hope you are feeling better!:hug:

Gerry - Saving time is worth it. I will check them out. I did my major grocery shopping this weekend so I won't have extra money to try them this month. I did put a reminder on my calendar for next month though.;)

I have one daughter that lives here in town, the other lives 200 miles away and she is the one who has the grand daughters. I know michelle would do anything I asked her to do but she works full time evening shift. Her weekends are her only time. Right now, one day of that weekend she comes over here and mows our lawn, trims and picks up the grass clippings. She tries to empty all our trash cans into the big trash can but I have told her we are OK in doing that. One time when we were on vacation, she and her now ex husband surprised us by doing a deep clean of our house while we were gone. She lets us know quite often about what we have done to her once clean house.

Her job doesn't pay much, her ex really used the credit card and had no way of paying it off since he was laid off so many times. So when they divorced, she still has a bad credit record which she is slowly bringing up. She has a huge heart for rescue dogs and has 3, 2 medium and one large and frequently babysits anyone's dogs of her girl friends. She is doing that for a 120 pound Great Dane right now. So her small house which wasn't good to begin with is even worse and she puts a lot of money in trying to keep it in as good repair as she can. She has a postage stamp size yard and brings her dogs over here to run in our back yard about once a month. She is on the board of directors of 2 dog parks. So she is a busy person and one with one huge heart who has a hard time saying no. She does so much for us and I don't want to put anymore on her. My other daughter wouldn't know how to clean a house if it came with explicate instructions. She would tell her husband and 2 daughters to do it.

Those omelets are really good. I hesitated trying them for a long time because I just didn't understand how eggs could be good microwaved. I was wrong! They're delicious.

I get the chicken breasts that are individually wrapped and they are wonderful. Easy high protein meal.

I used to love to cook but just can't do it anymore. If it can't be cooked in a microwave then I don't fix it.

I wish you could hire a cleaning service, Doydie. I just had a girl come in and clean my house last month for $100. She did such a good job and she is my neighbors sister so I felt better about using her. I'm so glad I decided to get someone to come in once a month. It really takes a lot of the pressure off me to keep things clean. I just can't do the heavy duty cleaning like I used to.

doydie,
Just a thought;
You mentioned your daughter's job didn't pay much.
Wonder how you would feeling offering your daughter a way to make a few extra $$$ by helping clean your house once a month.

Both of you would be doing each other a favor. I know it might seem difficult for her to accept $$$ from you; but you could tell her you would feel so much better about her doing the cleaning since both of you would be doing each other a favor especially since you would not be having a stranger in your house.

As I mentioned previously......just a thought....

Gerry

P.S,
doydie; some years ago I had a beauty shop. My mother helped me by doing some baby sitting;.....
but... there was one day a week she would wash customer's hair. She hated to take any $$$ for it; but I insisted telling her she was doing me a favor; and it was also helpful because she was at the shop when I wasn't. It was good for both of us.

Kitty,
The the Four Cheese Penne with Prosciutto is delicious. Can be done in the micro in 10 minutes (micro 7min. stir micro 3 min more). I use a side of sliced tomatoes (sprinkled with basel, salt & pepper, a little balsamic or a bit of oil on top) Yummy!!!!!!!! I always order at least one every month.


Gerry

We have offered her to be our lawn service and she was insulted that we would think she would take money to help us. So I don't think she would take money to clean the house. But it is a good idea. She is like me and a night person. I go to bed around 1 or so. She goes to bed around 4 AM and gets up to do some basic things before going to work at 3 PM. So her weekends are really her time for her. If she has to do something during the day she will but she likes her schedule just like I do.

I need to check into Schwann's and Walmart pickup although the pickup doesn't let me get any exercise. But I have used the scooter for the past several times in Walmart so that is no exercise anyway. On another forum I am on, some ladies say they buy a lot off of Amazon.