new appointment with neurologist
 

next wednesday at 2:15. I stopped going to pt a couple of weeks ago. my legs started hurting and i was having trouble walking. Up to then I was getting better.
Now after no pt they don't hurt. I thougt it best i see the neurologist before i decide what i should do about pt.
I am really depressed again and lonely. I dreamt i was back in fiji.It was sad.
I spent about three months there and there was a coup. It was a fascinating time but it wasn't a fun holiday. then when i woke up started thinking about how much of my life i have wasted. my bipolar helped me make a lot of bad
decisions. so much of my life was wasted. I don't know if i could have helped it or not

I don't think that I knew that you lived in figi.
good luck with your appointment wednesday.
bizi

I'm glad you are going to see your neurologist. Maybe you can mention the irritability you are experiencing when you see her?

I feel like I made many bad decisions, have wasted a lot of my life, and didn't take advantage of the opportunities I had either :hug::hug::hug:

Looking back, I realize a lot of that was driven by bipolar disorder. I was a ****ing mess, and without (effective) treatment, I can't see how I could have been able to get my life under control. I imagine the same is probable true for you, Bobby :hug::hug::hug:

I can't believe you lived in Fiji for three months while there was a coup! You have traveled a lot, and must have a lot of great stories. You must have a lot of pleasant memories as well as all of the painful ones.

i will mention the irritability and the deeper depression. I am worried about pudge. I might take her to the vet again. I have a few kinds of food out there. right now she is sitting on the arm of the recliner. she can see it snowing outside. I have gotten friendly with a Japanese woman at the senior center.
pudge just walked over to the food. Pudge is eating. Yesterday we talked a abit about football. she is very bright and interested in so much.she is upbeat. I worry that my depression will turn off everyone. she is always telling me i look nice. I haven't told her how depressed I am. I am beginning to think more and more of going to a therapist. they haven't helped in the past. I really becaame the family scapegoat after i turned eleven or twelve but stil was used for my father's alcoholism. Myra took no part in being involved in it. she told everybody she had a wonderful childhood. she had a great fantasy life. I had the opposite.
I just got more pills. without the extra help they are more. I called up to find out if they included the epic discount. I didn't ask the right questions.
Oh about fiji. I became very friendly with a fijian woman whose husband wa s stationed at the u.n. It was a very happy period of my life. we played tennis and squash almost every day. then I went to fij with them and it all split apart.

i called the insurance company about if they used epic and they said no. the guy was so nice. he called the pharmacy and instead of paying 8 dollars a month it will be three dollars and the other two instead of 14 dollars it will be three dollars. He said they made a mistake. I think I am expressing myself better ad the side effects of the stroke are diminishing. I am thinking more clearly. that is a biggie

This is a great post from you!
happy for you!
bizi

That's wonderful Bobby! I'm so happy! :)

The NY Giants are playing the Green Bay Packers at 4:30pm on Fox today if you want to catch the game :)

The Dolphins vs. the Steelers game is on CBS at 1pm.

i will probably watch. I got on the scale and gained only 1/2 pound. I ate six pints of halo low calorie ice cream the other day. that was thirty dollars. is that binge eating? I will never buy so many in one order. I have been terrified to get on the scale. a couple of people at the senior center said apples were fattening. I have been having two or three a day. Often times now i have been having four eggs a day.hard boiled. I don't know what to do. I asked the doctor for a higher dose of topamax for the binging but he wouldn't give it to me. I can't eat the way bizi eats. I would really gain weight.I am diabetic II. I am hopeless.
on the bright side the side effects of the stroke are really wearing off. last night i could think after a while of a swing jacket. that really made me happy. my memory is coming back too. My typing isn't
I am thankful about the stroke symptoms .

Apples and eggs are good foods.

The health benefits of... eggs | BBC Good Food

Apples: Health Benefits, Facts, Research - Medical News Today

Wellbutrin helps some people eat less.
The best medication that worked for me for not eating was Ritalin.
(Pdoc gave it to me to help me wake up in the morning)
When I took it for a short time last fall, I did not feel like eating -- had to remind myself to eat. It upped my mood a little too.
(Side effect was anxiety if I remember right but most meds cause me anxiety.)


M